Underwear
by thatreevesgirl
Summary: Why shouldn't a girl get all riled up at the thought of a sexy man in a pair of boxerbriefs? A humorous reverse harem fic featuring Sakura.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto, any part of Naruto or its characters. I only borrow them to make them do horribly silly things at no profit to myself. Please give Kishimoto your love, buy his works and support the anime and manga we all love.

**Author's Note**: This story is crack people. It is not meant to be completely serious, though I do try to make it readable. Also, this chapter was edited/rewritten on 12/2/08

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**_Underwear_**

**_by Lemon Drops/thatreevesgirl (both me)_**

**_Chapter 1: The Thrills of Underwear_**

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It was a beautiful summer day in Konoha. The sun was shining brightly, but there was also a cool northern breeze swimming through the leaves of the tall oaks that surrounded the Fire Nation's most powerful ninja village. There hadn't been a lovelier day in a long, long time, so it would have been a shame to waste it sitting inside fawning over test tubes and vials. Days like these were meant to be spent outdoors with friends, or at least that was what Ino decided before she decided to drag her loudly protesting best friend to have a mid-afternoon picnic in the park.

Sakura had been very nearly forced out of her medical lab station and into daylight, and the sad thing was that not a single one of her medical subordinates had stopped Ino from taking her. "Dammit, I have a lot of work to get done," she bemoaned while nibbling on a small fruit pastry Ino had given her.

"And I have a lot of gossip to chat about. You haven't had the time to sit and have a decent conversation with me in nearly a month. Most of the good gossip is so old it is growing mold," Ino scolded as she waggled a disapproving finger in Sakura's face. "Take a little time to appreciate your friends, for goodness sake."

Sakura wasn't convinced by Ino's little speech, and that was apparent by the look on her face which clearly said she hadn't fallen for a word of Ino's guilt trip. "And what of the people who will die because I decided to sit and chat and gossip instead of finding antidotes to poisons? What should I tell them when I visit their graves?"

Ino didn't miss a beat. "You should tell them the latest gossip going around, and let them know that they are one of the privileged few who know it."

Sakura groaned as she shoved the rest of her peach tart into her mouth. "Oh, for heaven's sake, just get this over with then," she said as she was chewing. She didn't care if she was being rude. Perhaps if she could annoy Ino with her attitude she could get back to her antidote brewing faster.

Despite Sakura's lack of manners, Ino was more than happy to oblige her friend, even if Sakura was only being sarcastic. Sakura might have acted like she had better things to do, but the young medic was going to burn herself out if she didn't learn to relax. Not to mention, Sakura also forgot to eat and bathe regularly when she got involved in difficult projects like the one she was working on. Ino decided it was her duty to feed Sakura, tell her friend that she stunk to high heaven, and also entertain her with a little bit of the village's juiciest hidden secrets that were straight from the shinobi grapevine.

"Where should I start?" Ino pondered aloud to herself. She tapped her finger on her chin as she riffled through a hundred different topics in her head.

Sakura huffed and grabbed another tart. "Boys," she suggested. "They seem to capture your interest."

Ino laughed, "Ah yes, that they do." She gave Sakura a devilish smirk before deciding on a new juicy tidbit of info she'd only stumbled upon that very morning. "Did you know that Neji has a foot fetish?"

Sakura very nearly choked on her tart. She sputtered for a minute before dislodging it from her lungs. She drank down a cup of tea, but it didn't help much with the coughing. Ino patted her friend on the back and her smirk grew so wide that Sakura was almost scared of it.

"Are you okay there?" Ino asked. Her voice was silky like honey as she realized she had hit a very interesting nail on the head without even trying to. "Fetish talk gets you riled up, doesn't it?"

Sakura shot Ino an over-exaggerated, scathing glare. "Ino-pig, I don't care what wheels turn in your pretty, perverted mind, but I have better things to think about. I didn't need to know that Neji likes feet for more than walking or sparring, thank you very much."

Ino shrugged. Her mouth upturned, and her brows crinkled just a bit until she was giving Sakura a (fake) look of disinterest. She didn't want to press too hard, or Sakura really would banish this topic from this and all future conversations. "Ah, Sakura, you can't deny that men are only human. Women too. We all have things we like and things we don't."

"Like feet?" Sakura asked. One of her brows was arched so high that Ino almost laughed. Sakura always did like her sarcasm. "I don't need to know those kinds of things."

Ino couldn't hold back the tiny smile that threatened her lips. "Of course you do!" Ino exclaimed happily. The blonde leaned forward enthusiastically and waggled her eyebrows. "How else are you going to know what pleases a guy?

"Pleases a guy?" Sakura repeated. The brow which formerly arched high with skepticism was now twitching with annoyance. "Please tell me we didn't make the leap from fetishes to sex?"

"Not a big leap, Sakura. They kind of go hand in hand," Ino reminded her friend. "Besides, we all have a fetish of some kind. I happen to have a thing for those sexy little pelvic bones on a guy. I love it when they a man is cut enough for them to stand out."

"Hmm, doesn't sound like Shikamaru to me," Sakura said with a little laugh. Shikamaru was muscled, but he had been stuck with too much tactics and not enough active missions to keep himself that well sculpted.

"Oh shut-up, forehead. I don't want to talk about that idiot right now anyway, so just drop it." Ino's face turned from jovial to completely serious in an instant. Her tone left no room for arguments, so Sakura decided it was best to just drop it.

One of the few tidbits of gossip Sakura had actually heard while she was working so many hours of overtime was that Ino and Shikamaru were going through quite the rough patch in their relationship. Sakura could see how the mere mention of Shikamaru's name seemed to depress Ino. Sakura decided that she'd bring up the boyfriend topic again later, but for now she would humor Ino and go along with this odd conversation about fetishes.

"So you like sexy pelvises," Sakura said dryly.

"Most girls do," Ino replied with a weak smile. "You know, I can't be the only one here with a fetish."

Sakura's eyes grew wide. This turn in the conversation had startled her. She coughed and her eyes were drawn instinctively toward the ground. "Trust me, Ino, you are."

Ino didn't buy into Sakura's brand of bullshit. She didn't have to be a trained interrogator (which she was) to see that Sakura was lying. The medical kunoichi was blushing hard and she couldn't even look her friend in the eye. Sakura wasn't being truthful, and that hurt a little bit. If there was one thing Ino knew how to do well, it was how to play up her emotions. She'd have Sakura wrapped around her pinky very, very soon.

"Sakura?" Ino asked very quietly. She sniffed softly and let tears build up in the corners of her eyes. Ino knew that there were two kinds of people who were weak to her tears—men and Sakura. It was for different reasons, because Sakura could usually see right through them, but Ino was still prone to getting her way when she used them on her friend. "I am your best friend, right?"

Sakura looked up and saw the wide-eyed, tear-heavy look Ino was giving her. "Oh, geez Ino, of course you are." Ino let the first few tears fall, and as annoying as it was to the other kunoichi, a few people who were walking by in the park turned and looked at the girl whose voice was starting to get louder, and who was crying and sniffing for all she was worth. "If I'm your best friend (*sniff*) then why am I (*sob*) always the one giving to the friendship (*sniff-sob*)? You never want to give anything." Ino chose to end that by burying her face in her hands to cry.

"Ino, stop it!" Sakura threw a pastry at her friend's head.

"You don't want to be my friend anymore," Ino wailed. It was a perfect show for everyone but Sakura. Ino cried harder, and more people were starting to stare.

Sakura was torn. She could give in to her psychotically deviant friend, or she could let Ino continue to act out her dramatic weeping scene. It was a tough choice, but for the sake of her reputation (since she was already viewed as a hardass, ball-breaker by too many shinobi and civilians), she muttered her defeat. "Oh fine, you win. Stop crying."

Ino perked right up and stopped crying immediately. "Good. Now spill," the blonde said as she wiped the remnants of leftover tears from her eyes and cheeks.

"You are such a manipulator," Sakura protested. She hated when Ino did this. The only reason the blonde got away with it was because she was a woman and she used her girlish wiles to her advantage. Sakura waited until all the passerbyers had gone on their merry way. She didn't need anyone to overhear what she was about to tell Ino. "So you want to know what my fetish is?" Sakura asked Ino with a scathing glare.

"Yep. I know you _must _have something you like."

Sakura's face turned bright red as she leaned over and very quietly whispered, "Underwear."

Ino was taken aback by her friend's answer at first. Never had she imagined that Sakura liked such a thing. Sakura gave the appearance of being such a pristine little prude. The laughter seemed to hit all at once, full force as Ino began howling with laughter at Sakura's answer.

"Shut-up, Ino-pig."

The threat didn't help. Ino kept chortling, even snorting a bit before regaining enough composure to respond to Sakura's ridiculous answer.

"Underwear? Your fetish is underwear?"

The crease on Sakura's bountifully blessed forehead deepened. It wasn't that funny, was it?

"So what, you get turned on by underwear?"

Sakura mused at the thought and pursed her lips together in thoughtful consideration, "Men in underwear, men lounging in boxer-briefs with smug looks upon their faces, men whose underwear are starting to look a bit too snug, men slipping spry fingers into the folds of thin, protective fabric…for Kami's sake, yes, I have a thing for underwear."

Ino smirked, "I have to admit, I haven't heard of a woman having that particular fetish before."

Sakura sighed, the world was far too unfair. Why couldn't she have an underwear fetish, while Naruto, Sai, Sasuke, or any other male ninja could fawn over her pretty, pink panties any day of the week, and no one thought they were strange. Damn the hypocrisy.

"I suppose you like the kinds with pretty pink bows and ribbons," Ino snickered.

Sakura made sure to give Ino the harshest glare she could manage. Sakura explained, growling every word through gritted teeth, "Boy underwear, you buffoon. You know, boxers, briefs, or preferably boxer-briefs."

"Boxer-briefs?" Ino asked curiously.

Sakura sighed, "It's the best of both worlds, tight, but not too snug or too short, and they're very sexy."

"So, boxer-briefs?" Ino asked. She was being half-serious. Part of her wanted to just lie back on the grass and laugh at the absurdity, but the other half of her was interested in knowing more about this strange kind of underwear she'd never heard of.

Sakura paused, then grumbled a sharp, "Yes, I definitely prefer boxer-briefs."

"Who have you seen in boxer-briefs? You've always been so dreadfully straitlaced. I assumed that you had never seen a nearly naked man"

Sakura felt like choking Ino, reaching the three feet to where her friend was sitting, and strangling the ever-loving life out of her. "Just because I like men in underwear, doesn't mean I've done…things. I'm a medic, and I've seen plenty of naked men. I'm also on a team with three, well _four_ men, and you can't tell me you haven't seen Choji or Shikamaru in their underwear."

Ino giggled, "Yes, but I wasn't the one who mentioned something about half-hard men in her aforementioned fetish rant. I think that qualifies you to be bumped from prude status at the very least."

Sakura's skin flushed a very deep shade of red. It took hold of every bit of exposed skin as she blushed furiously at the thought. "Stupid Naruto gets hard all the time during missions, especially at night when he sleeps, I can't help it if I peek."

"You peek at Naruto? That's cute. Is he big?"

Sakura wasn't having this conversation. She wanted nothing more than to tell Ino to shove off, but Sakura didn't want to deal with another fake crying fit. "He's kind of big, I guess…what qualifies as big?"

Ino snickered, "Depends on what you like. Some girls don't like it too big."

That did not answer Sakura's question, and now she was wholly confused. She just sat and shook her head disapprovingly at Ino.

"Did you expect me to give you a number?"

Sakura nodded her head yes, not wanting to verbalize anything else in this exchange of complete and utterly embarrassing weirdness.

"Six is quite good, but seven...seven or more is _big_."

Sakura processed the information and estimated Naruto's length in her head. "He's teetering on big."

Ino chuckled, "Teetering?"

Sakura glared at the blonde woman again, "Yes, teetering."

"But he was only _half_-hard, right?" Ino prodded. She knew exactly how to press Sakura's buttons to get her to talk.

Sakura sucked in a very annoyed breath before whispering angrily, "He was masturbating in the woods! Are you happy now?"

Ino wiped amused tears from her eyes, "Yeah, because he was probably wanking it to thoughts of you, and you were spying on him while he was doing it. The two of you are such adorable little perverts together."

Sakura's jaw dropped. "He…what? Thinking of…me?" It was only after that she realized that she had been accused of spying on Naruto's little perverse woodland adventures. "And I wasn't spying," she grumbled, "I was just going to wash up at a stream and he was there with his stupid thing out. That does not qualify as spying."

"Well, either way, I wouldn't have blamed you. He is one hot little number these days with his blond hair, blue eyes, sexy smirk, and a chest that you could…"

"Ino-pig, stop, just stop." Sakura couldn't take much more, the thought of Naruto, _her teammate nonetheless_, was…well, Sakura supposed she liked that thought too much.

"Sasuke's going to be jealous, Sai too, maybe even Kakashi," Ino teased. The men of team seven were enamored with their little pink-haired goddess as of late, it was something completely obvious to most outside observers.

"I'm going to kill you." Sakura threatened as she shook her head and ground her teeth together. Ino might have been her best friend, but she could have even irritated the pink right out of Sakura's hair if she wanted to.

"Kill me? Nah, you won't. So what kind of underwear does Kakashi-sensei wear?" Ino queried. She had to admit, the thought of the copy-nin half-naked truly intrigued the blonde.

"Boxers."

Ino decided to poke more fun at Sakura, "Not boxer-briefs?"

"No, not bo…I hate you."

"How about Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai?"

Sakura was done with this conversation, there was little more she wished to discuss on the topic, and so she gave an overly-done 'hrumph' and folded her arms in defiance.

"I'll tell you what Shika and Choji wear. I bet you'd like to know, seeing as you're the one with the underwear fetish."

Sakura rolled her eyes, damn her weakness, damn it, damn it, damn it. "Sai wears briefs, Naruto and Sasuke both wear boxer-briefs."

Ino nodded knowingly, "Now I know why you like them so much, and for graciously sharing your personal underwear-related reconnaissance, you'll be happy to know that Choji wears boxers and Shika wears briefs, but maybe I'll buy a pack of those boxer-briefs for their birthdays."

Sakura locked that information away, storing it for another time and another place, preferably a long lonely night in her apartment when she was devoid of human contact (save her own).

"Ino-pig, you and Shikamaru…the two of you have done it, right?"

The confused, yet amused look which graced Ino's face spoke of the great disbelief of how innocent Sakura was, even though she had something as kinky as an underwear fetish. "You mean sex with Shika?"

"Yeah."

Ino nodded, "Yeah, a few times, that man is a horny bastard, though he doesn't seem like it."

"Just Shikamaru?"

"Yep, just Shika, though I don't think I'm his only partner." Ino said the last part quietly, almost like she hadn't meant to admit it aloud.

Ino sighed, she knew she wasn't the only one in Shikamaru's bed. There was another blond woman who had caught the lazy genius' eye. Shikamaru's and Temari's rendezvous usually happened when Ino and Shikamaru were on a break from their relationship, and it did not surprise Ino that she and her boyfriend's temporary break-ups usually coincided with Temari's visits to Konoha or Shikamaru's missions to Suna.

Sakura was glad she had finally made it back to the tabled conversation about Ino and Shikamaru's relationship. She could tell it was eating away at her friend.

"Does that bother you?" Sakura asked gently.

"No," Ino lied. "Shikamaru can be a bastard when it comes to women, but it just comes with the territory, so really, please drop it. Let's talk about something more fun than my relationship problems. So who are you considering? You are obviously considering someone to test this fetish thing out on, and it would be good for you to actually do something other than work for a change."

Sakura watched Ino quirk her eyebrows as she tried to desperately divert the conversation away from Shikamaru. There was no way Sakura was going to get more out of her now, because Ino changed gears in an instant. The blonde was done moping for the day over the brilliant man who had taken over her team when Asuma died. Instead, Ino waggled her eyebrows suggestively. It effectively hid the sadness from just a minute before. It actually reminded Sakura of Naruto, because it was something he would do.

"Um, I don't know…but probably one of my guys," Sakura ventured.

"Your guys? You mean someone from team seven?" Ino asked hopefully.

"Yeah."

Sakura wasn't sure she wanted to act on anything. She really was too busy to think about things as trivial as underwear and men, but it was a delicious thought, there was no denying that. However, it was much easier for Sakura to ignore her more human needs and just bury herself in work. Work wasn't embarrassing and messy and filled with heartbreak. Then again, who said this had to be a serious romantic venture? Sakura really didn't appreciate being called a prude, because she wasn't, she was just currently inexperienced. She liked guys, she wanted to try sex (with someone she trusted of course), so why couldn't she go ahead and make this leap? The only thing that was holding Sakura back was _Sakura_.

The conversation lulled as a slightly uncomfortable silence washed over them. Sakura looked far too embarrassed and withdrawn to continue. Ino smirked in that devilish way of hers, "I'll help you. Let's find you someone so you actually get some practical experience with that fetish of yours."

Sakura blushed, and then nodded. For once she wasn't going to argue with Ino. It was high time she actually lived a little, and besides, this asinine little conversation was the first fun she'd had in couple of months. It wouldn't hurt to take a little time to explore it, would it? Sakura sighed and gave into the idea. Boxers, briefs, or boxer-briefs—what a tough decision it was.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

**_Underwear_**

**_by Lemon Drops/thatreevesgirl (they're both me)_**

**_Chapter 2: Speculation_**

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The following week Ino once again ransacked the medical ward and stole the pink-haired woman who had been working on poison antidotes. Today it was back to the same old summer heat, so the two of them opted for a teahouse rather than a picnic. Ino nibbled daintily at a cookie, enjoying time with her best friend at a local tea shop. Sakura lifted her cup of tea to her lips when Ino chimed in, "So what kind of underwear do you think Gaara wears?"

There were things that were appropriate to talk about in public, and there were things that were _not _appropriate to talk about in public. The kind of underwear worn by the leader of another ninja village would never in a thousand years qualify as suitable conversation in a local teahouse where anyone could overhear. Sakura turned a lovely shade of red that very nearly rivaled the color of her shirt, and choked on the sip of tea in her mouth, "Ino-pig!" she sputtered, "There are people sitting at the next table!"

Ino grinned, "Yeah, your point?"

Sakura thought of a thousand responses to that idiotic question, some of which were obvious, like _you don't discuss your fetishes in the local tea shop, _or _self-respecting women don't muse over what kind of underwear the Kazekage wears._

"Like you've never thought about it…you're the one with a thing for guys' underwear," Ino continued, completely unphased by Sakura's disdain for discussion of the topic anywhere but in private.

"I have, but we are in a teashop, in the middle of Konoha, where anyone can hear what we are discussing!" Sakura hissed under her breath. Her temple was starting to throb as she realized she was going to have yet another fun-filled afternoon with Ino. If she wasn't careful Ino would pulling the wailing-kunoichi act again and Sakura would have a room full of tea patrons sending scornful looks her way.

"I bet he doesn't wear any at all, probably goes commando all the time," Ino continued, ignoring Sakura's request for a continuance until they were safely hidden from the public eye, "I could see Gaara doing something like that, perhaps it gives him some private thrill which makes him feel more powerful. He probably needs it since Shukaku was removed."

Sakura let most of Ino's ramblings wash over her, but only because she was still stuck on one portion of the conversation. Commando? Sakura couldn't quite compute it. She couldn't manage to get the damn image out of her head either. There was a naked Kazekage strutting around her head with his manhood gently swaying in the breeze. "Ino, just shut up!" Sakura shouted, actually eliciting more stares than anything Ino was talking about.

It shocked the blonde to hear her friend react in such a way. Perhaps talking about naked men was a step Sakura wasn't ready to make yet. "Way to go forehead, now we really can't talk about it."

Sakura rolled her eyes and grumbled out a short, "Good," before sipping on her tea quietly.

Ino, however, was never one to back down from anything. "You know this is all your fault?" she asked Sakura. "Damn you for putting this idea in my head. I have men parading around in their underwear all the time in my mind, and now it won't come out. That's all I see all day long, guys wandering around in briefs or boxers, or those illustrious boxer-briefs which I actually sought out to see what they were like. I made Shika wear some the other night, and you're right, those are pretty darn sexy."

Sakura smacked her palm to her forehead and sighed, ignoring Ino's rant the best she could. If only that was enough to hush her friend into silence.

Ino continued with the conversation. There was no indicators that she was even going to slow down. "Do men have pantylines?"

"What?"

Ino's face was filled with an evil mirth as she repeated her question. "You know, can you tell like you can with girls sometimes? Do men have pantylines?"

Sakura mouth gapped open, and never before did the young woman feel like she'd blushed as much as she had today, "I don't know, and I don't think it would be called _panty_lines, men don't wear panties."

"I bet there are a few that do, just for kicks."

Well, Ino did have a way of ruining the best of fantasies, because Gai was now parading around Sakura's mind in a pair of lacy green panties. Sakura wasted no time in telling Ino off too. "I hate you. I hate you so very, very much."

Ino smirked, and continued the conversation, "So?"

Sakura stared at the unabashed blonde, "So what?"

"Gaara, underwear, what kind? The question that started us on this crazy little discussion."

"You've given up on the thought of men's pantylines…I mean underwear-lines?" Sakura asked, not knowing why she was revisiting or aiding the conversation.

"No, but that is something which is observable, so we can go to the park later and see if we can spot _underwear-_lines on the male passerbyers. However, Gaara's underwear choice is more speculation. You can't deny you want to know. I know you do, Sakura."

Sakura grumbled to herself. No, she couldn't deny that the Kazekage had graced her daydreams from time to time in different kinds of underwear. His smoky, black-rimmed eyes lustful as he showed them off to Sakura.

"Well?" Ino asked impatiently.

Sakura rolled her eyes one last time for good measure. Something told her that no matter what was said, Ino wouldn't give up this topic of conversation until she was satisfied. Sakura wasn't much into giving in, but she finally hoisted the white flag of surrender as she predicted, "My money's on briefs or boxer-briefs, less chance of sand getting into places it isn't supposed to be."

Ino giggled at Sakura's prediction, "Which one of us is going to prove that one?"

Sakura rolled her eyes, "You're the pervert. I'll leave that to you."

Ino waggled her finger at Sakura and gave a curt tsk-tsk before adding, "Silly, just ask Naruto to find out for us."

"Naruto! How am I supposed to ask Naruto about something like that?"

Ino's smiled big, "Tell him you want to get the Kazekage a birthday gift or something, I don't know. You'll think of something."

"No, I won't." Talking was one thing. Getting real people involved in covert underwear reconnaissance was another thing entirely. It wasn't something Sakura was willing to do.

Ino, however, still wasn't convinced. "Sure you will," she told Sakura with a wink. "So who else haven't we discussed? Hmm…there's Kiba, Shino, Rock Lee, Neji, Kankuro, Genma, Raido, Gai…"

"No Gai, never speak his name in the same conversation as my fetish again," Sakura whined, still trying to rid herself of the flamboyantly brilliant taijutsu user in green panties.

Ino seconded Sakura's request. The man had well-sculpted muscles, and therefore a beautiful body, but something was really quite off about him. Gai was an unusual bird, that was for sure. "But still, all the others I mentioned, we should make predictions, because I really want to know."

Sakura huffed. Still, she was starting to be more cooperative. "Fine," she whispered. "Who should we begin with?"

Ino grinned, glad that Sakura was finally coming around, "Let's start with Kiba and Shino."

Sakura paused to think, "Kiba seems like the kind of guy to be wild and loose, I'm thinking he would be the kind to go commando more than Gaara would. Shino seems a bit uptight, a briefs kind of guy."

Ino laughed and heartily agreed with both of Sakura's predictions, "Neji? He seems like he's always desired to be free, but still caged…"

"Boxers, the whitest damn boxers you've ever seen," Sakura interrupted with a giggle.

"Yeah, definitely, and how about Neji's teammate and lover of all things Sakura?"

"Lee? Oh lord, with that green spandex, I bet he wears a damn speedo."

Ino cracked up, giggling so hard she nearly dropped her tea on the floor, "A thong perhaps?"

Sakura groaned, the thought of Lee with a thong speedo wasn't exactly at the top of her fantasy list, though she had to admit as Lee grew older he had become increasingly more attractive (and less annoying) than he had been in his youth. If she could burn that damn green suit, give him a haircut, and parade him around in some non-green boxer-briefs he might make it onto her sexy list.

"That leaves Kankuro, but I actually know what he wears, ever since the mission to Suna to save Gaara," Sakura whispered, "He wears boxers, and looks damn good in them too."

"You little vixen, peeking at Kankuro when you're healing him, someone should put you on a leash, because you are one naughty kunoichi," Ino teased, utterly amused by the death-glare she was receiving from Sakura.

"I hate you."

"No, trust me, you don't. Have you put anymore thought into which of your four guys you're going to choose to make all your underwear fantasies come true? My vote is definitely for your sensei, he is one sexy specimen of ninja, though Sasuke…he's always been a favorite of ours, I'm just not sure I want you to have him."

"Ino-pig, you are such a jerk, you still think you have a chance with Sasuke?"

Ino's eyes squinted knowingly, "Of course, if I wanted Sasuke I could have him in an instant, but over the years…" Ino added a theatric yawn to punctuate her little act, showing that she'd somehow become bored with the idea of being with Sasuke, "I prefer intelligent, non-brooding men, and no matter how hot Sasuke is, it isn't worth it if he's too wrapped up in himself."

"Yeah, you just like Shikamaru too much now, that's why you've lost interest in Sasuke," Sakura retorted, eliciting a warning glare from her blonde friend. "You should really make him give up Temari, it isn't fair to you."

"He does what he wants, it isn't like I can really get him to do anything. I really don't want to talk about it."

Sakura knew Ino was lying, because her friend cared deeply for Shikamaru, and was probably even love with him. "Be honest with yourself, Ino-pig, don't let him walk all over you. He's not that great, and if he can't see how wonderful you are, it's his loss."

Ino leaned across the table and squeezed Sakura's shoulder, "Thanks forehead, you're such a good friend. Why don't we pay for our tea and go spy on your boys, with your chakra control I'm sure you could pull off a great invisibility jutsu."

Sakura was confused, most likely spying would only reap moments of Sasuke and Naruto nearly killing each other while they sparred, Sai painting under a tree, while Kakashi sat up in a branch of said tree reading his porn…not exactly the most productive of reconnaissance missions in Sakura's opinion, but Ino's sinister grin told the kunoichi there was more up her friend's sleeve than just watching her teammates train.

"Just trust me," Ino added as she grabbed Sakura's arm, pulling her up, "I've perfected my dreaming-body transfer jutsu, I can take over someone's body when their asleep and they will never know I did so, I just need you to help me shield my chakra. Think your perverted sensei will fall asleep by any chance?"

"Most likely, he usually reads a chapter of smut, and then takes a nap before breaking up the latest deathmatch between Naruto and Sasuke, what are you going to make him do?"

"I'm going to have him make a suggestion, seeing as the summer days are very hot, I think taking a quick dip in the nearby stream sounds like a pleasant plan. Your boys in their underwear, swimming and splashing about, _that_ is definitely something to get excited about."

Sakura had to agree, the thought of the four shinobi's beautifully sculpted bodies glistening and dripping with fresh mountain water, the wet fabric of their undergarments clinging stickily to their skin…that was a very enticing thought indeed. Sakura nearly bolted out of the door, dragging Ino behind her, her boys needed a swimming break, and they needed it _now_!

* * *

**_END OF CHAPTER_**

* * *

**End of Chapter A/N's**: Okay, I admit, I like the idea of men in their underwear, thus why I wrote this little piece of underwear-lovin' joy, and I like the idea of wet, glistening, half-naked guys frolicking in a stream even more, thus why it's happening in my story. Hee-hee. And don't take this too seriously, it's just a fun piece, bordering on parody.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Underwear**_

**_by Lemon Drops/thatreevesgirl (they're both me)_**_**  
**_

* * *

**A/N's**: Thank you so much for all the kind reviews so far, I'm so happy to have received them. huggles readers I don't have a beta, so if you see errors let me know.

_**Chapter 3: Propositions  
**_

* * *

Ino and Sakura sat on the hill overlooking the training area, hidden well by Sakura's invisibility jutsu, and just as Sakura had predicted, Sai and Kakashi were both located by a large elm tree while Naruto and Sasuke were battling to the east.

"Why aren't you training with them today?" Ino asked, because Sakura prided herself on the ability to keep up with her group, even though her jutsu specialties were healing and of course the chakra laced taijutsu Tsunade had taught her.

"I worked in the hospital all of yesterday, when the four of them had the day off, so I took today for my leisure. As much as training is essential, resting one's body is nearly as important, especially when you consider the level of difficulty my team's missions are and what they usually entail."

"I think you're just lazy."

The deep green eyes of Sakura narrowed at the suggestion, glaring at the blonde who could be such a pain at times, "Shut up Ino-pig, let's just do what we came here to do."

"Yeah, yeah, can you tell if your sensei is asleep?"

Sakura pulled a pair of tiny binoculars from her hippack, lifting them and examining the older man who was lounging on a lower branch of the elm tree.

"Yeah, Kakashi's asleep, he's even drooling a bit, because there's a wet spot on his mask," Sakura replied with a giggle. It was always humorous to see the copy-nin prove to the world that he was in fact human, despite his dismissive attitude toward being anything of the sort. Sometimes Kakashi's ego was too much for Sakura to take, it could even be worse than Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai combined.

"Okay, here I go then, make sure that nothing happens to me while I'm away," Ino told Sakura with a smirk, beginning the hand seals necessary for her jutsu. Sakura caught Ino as she slumped and laid her down in the grass, watching carefully for any proof that Ino's jutsu had worked.

Sakura didn't have to wait long, because almost instantly Kakashi's uncovered eye popped open and the copy-nin gave a slight salute with two fingers to no one in particular, meaning Ino had ahold of the body she aimed for. The silver-haired man hopped out of the tree and said something to Sai, slowly stretching and then wandering to where Naruto and Sasuke were training. As Sai and Kakashi approached the two men, Sakura noted how the two seemed to separate without delay, used to Kakashi coming to break up their sparring.

Sakura wished she knew what Ino was making her sensei say, because the man seemed to immediately have her other three teammates trailing him as they headed for the stream. Damn Ino, she was almost as tricky as Shikamaru, but at this moment Sakura was rather happy with that fact. Making a single clone of herself to stay with Ino's body, Sakura snuck off to watch her boys frolicking in the water from a more advantageous spot in some brush near the river.

"Do not get your jounin gear wet needlessly! That stuff costs the village quite a bit of money to replace," Sakura overheard Ino-Kakashi lecturing Naruto as the blond tried to wade into the stream with his pants and jounin flak jacket still on.

Ino-Kakashi decided to lead by example, slowly stripping the excess clothing from his body, then wading into the water wearing only his dark blue boxers. Sakura nearly lost her composure (holding back a giggle fit) as Ino-Kakashi flitted his fingers over the well-toned muscles of his abs before dipping himself fully into the stream, coming up dripping, the pale skin of the copy-nin slick, glistening temptingly, as the dark fabric of his undergarments clung needily to his thighs. Sakura was beginning to think Ino had been right about choosing Kakashi, especially when the thin, wet fabric did little to hide Kakashi from her peeping eyes.

And peep she did, as Sakura allowed herself to enjoy the fine physique of her sensei. Sakura's eyes grew wide as Ino-Kakashi's hand began to reach downward, inching closer and closer to the place carefully hidden by her teacher's undergarments, only stopping a hand-length's away from groping Kakashi's manhood.

_Dammit Ino, what are you trying to do, molest Kakashi?_ Sakura shouted in her mind, secretly wishing she was the one hidden in his body, because oh the naughty, naughty things she could do. To touch, tempt, taste, feel, explore…to know what it feels like to run your fingers over a nerve-plentiful length, especially one which seemed to be as promisingly stunning as Kakashi's. Sakura sighed silently, she was becoming an grade-A pervert.

Both Naruto and Sasuke gave each other confused looks as their teacher played about in the water, but didn't really argue with the thought of a nice swim. They'd been sparring for a good portion of the day and both appeared to be drenched in sweat, so with a quick look around to make sure there weren't any other people watching (if only they knew about Sakura and Ino) they stripped themselves of their clothing, leaving it by the banks and sprinted into the water. Sasuke successfully tripped Naruto and sent him flying into the river below.

"Sasuke, why do you have to be such an ass?" Naruto yelled as he came up sputtering, quickly recovering and leaping at Sasuke, grappling his leg in order to throw the Uchiha into the expanse of water beneath them.

Sakura watched, nearly drooling at the site of her scantily clad teammates fighting with each other, the site of male flesh rippling, quivering, muscles flexing as Naruto and Sasuke battled each other. Sakura even mused at the thought of how close Naruto's face was to Sasuke's underwear as the blond fought for leverage. If there was really a God, he would make Naruto lean in and lick that tempting bulge through Sasuke's underwear, or at least give it a good grope. Okay, that thought was a bit odd, and more selfish than anything else since it was exactly what Sakura wanted to do.

"Cut it out, dobe," Sasuke growled as he tried to pry Naruto from his leg, but successfully dunked them both, leaving Sasuke sitting in the river like an angry, wet cat as he glared at over at a pleased looking Naruto.

When Naruto stood again, Sakura had a good view of his orange boxer-briefs, the ones with a strategically placed smiley faced instant ramen cup over her teammate's intriguingly bountiful bulge. Sakura blushed as she thought about that being one cup of ramen she wouldn't mind trying. Sakura's thought was interrupted as the last member of team seven waded into the water, today wearing a pair of blood red boxers in lieu of the briefs which Sakura normally saw him in.

"Idiots, can't you just enjoy swimming instead of battling."

Both Naruto and Sasuke glowered at the other young member of team seven, deciding that Sai was a much better target to attack. A nod to each other, and the unspoken agreement to attack Sai instead was approved by Naruto and Sasuke, the two young men flickering away and in an instant reappeared behind the artistic man and shoved him hard into the deep part of the river.

"Ha-ha, Sai, who's the idiot now?" Naruto mocked his teammate, and then dunked himself into the deeper part as well, swimming to Sai and mussing his wet hair a bit. Naruto gave his friend a wide, toothy grin to show there were no real hard feelings between them. Sai returned the smile and pushed Naruto away from him, the blond idiot was infectious, even to him.

"This was a good idea, Kakashi-sensei. You never let us take breaks like this!" Naruto shouted over to Ino-Kakashi.

The silver haired man nodded and then wandered over to where Naruto was floating in a calm pool formed by an outcropping of rocks in the stream. Sakura wasn't sure what Ino was doing, but knowing her it promised to be good. The copy-nin's one good eye spent a few moments perusing the blond (unbeknownst to Naruto who was trying to nap as he floated in the cool water) and then reached down and sent a formable splash flying toward the Kyuubi-containing young man. Sakura wanted to shake her head at Ino, Kakashi would never have ever started some juvenile splashing competition with Naruto, there was no way Naruto wouldn't notice something was up.

Naruto glanced up at Kakashi, squinting at team seven's leader, before returning the splash…_nevermind,_ Sakura thought, _Naruto is too stupid to notice._ If Sakura wasn't so worried about Ino blowing their cover, she might have enjoyed the site of the two men playing in the water, but then there was Sasuke and Sai, they would sure notice something was up, right?

Sasuke was oblivious as well as he used his chakra to hoist a large amount of water in the air, tossing it at Kakashi and knocking the jounin flat on his back, leaving the man sinking to the depths of the pool Naruto was still splashing in.

_That can't be good,_ Sakura thought, a little worried when Kakashi didn't come up out of the water right away, and when he did Sakura knew the game was over, because Kakashi looked pissed.

"What in the hell are you three doing?" he shouted at Sai, Sasuke, and Naruto.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, confused to why there was a sudden change in the man who'd suggested their midday swim.

"Why aren't you three training? Why am I in a river half naked? What in the hell is going on?"

"Calm down Kakashi-sensei, you're the one who suggested this, you woke from reading your book and asked if we wanted a break," Sai tried to remind Kakashi.

"I never…I…stupid sleepwalking," Kakashi grumbled, and wandered back to dry land, only a few feet away from where Sakura was hiding. Sakura held her breath, she knew her invisibility jutsu was good, but Kakashi's ninja senses were better when in this close proximity of each other, and as his eye moved to the bushes where she was Sakura knew she was busted.

The kunoichi waited for her teacher to expose her, prepared for the wholly embarrassing explanation she'd have to make for peeping at the four men from the brush. At least she could leave Ino out of it, her idiot friend was still safe on the hill with Sakura's clone, and the two were probably hightailing it out of the training grounds at this very moment.

"We'll discuss this later," Kakashi hissed to the bushes as he redressed, and then ordered the other men to do the same. Naruto and Sasuke grumbled, seeing as they were finally starting to relax in the water, and Sai just shrugged as the three of them returned to the shore.

"Can't we just swim for a few more minutes?" Naruto whined like a child, not at all like the nineteen year old man he was.

"No, get your ass back to sparring with Sasuke and take Sai too, I don't want to hear another word," Kakashi reiterated, watching the young man as he grabbed his clothes and stomped off. Kakashi, in an afterthought, added, "You, Sasuke, and Sai take the north field and practice disarming each other with the practice flags, you have an hour. The person or persons without a flag has a thousand laps around Konoha, and if all of you still have your flags it will be two-thousand laps each. Understood?"

"Understood," the three grumbled as they continued off toward the north field of the training ground. When the other members of team seven were out of range, Kakashi finally turned his attention to the kunoichi in the bushes, "Care to explain what you were doing, Sakura?"

"Not really, Sensei," she said, poking up with a sheepish look on her face.

"Do so anyway," Kakashi ordered, the look in his eye not one of amusement. "I wasn't sleepwalking, was I?"

"No Kakashi-sensei, Ino was practicing her new jutsu and she needed a test subject. You're the only ninja I know who takes a midafternoon nap, so we targeted you," she said, trying to keep it as technical and ninja-esque as possible. It was a lie, or horribly told fib, but it was the best Sakura could come up with on such little notice.

"Hmm, that's all good Sakura, but why did I end up in a river in only my underwear?"

_Because you look damn hot when you're wet and half-naked, _Sakura thought, but verbalized, "Ino and I couldn't think of anything better to do, and I thought Naruto and the other's deserved a nice break. You can be such a hardass at times."

Sakura realized too late that the last part of her explanation might have been better left unsaid, Kakashi didn't see himself as a hardass, just as a teacher who consistently produced good results with his team.

"I'm rather disappointed in you, Sakura. You should find better things to occupy your time, like actually training with us," he murmured before beginning to walk back to the elm tree he had been sleeping in.

Sakura trailed him, she didn't want Kakashi to be upset with her, "I'm really sorry, Kakashi-sensei."

"That's fine, just don't do it again, and don't worry, your training tomorrow will more than make up for your indiscretion. I'd be prepared for the workout of your life, I'm not going easy on you tomorrow."

Sakura sighed, she should have known Kakashi wouldn't just let it go. "Yes, sensei, I understand."

"Good, now the next time you want to play peeping tom with Ino, _do not_ use my body. There are secrets which Ino has no business knowing, and you could have compromised our team by letting her carelessly take control of me."

Sakura blushed a shade of crimson so deep she thought she would be permanently red for the rest of her life. Kakashi knew they were peeping, but then again it was Kakashi, he was a genius. Not only that, but he was right, it did compromise their team by letting Ino be in Kakashi's body without prior notice.

"I'm really, really sorry, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi sighed as he took out his book, "I know, Sakura. I suppose I should apologize to you as well, I didn't know I was rubbing off on you."

Sakura smiled at her teacher, "Yeah, I do blame you for this, damn pervert."

"Says the newest member of the pervert-elite," Kakashi paused for a moment after his little joke and then hesitantly added, "I think tomorrow we'll all have a nice swimming break, _all_ of us. I know you'll appreciate it after the hell I plan to put you through tomorrow morning."

"_All_ of us?" Sakura squeaked.

"Don't you think that's fair, Sakura? I mean, you saw all of us half-naked, I think you owe us…though, perhaps I'd rather have that for only myself," he told her with a wink.

"Pervert!" Sakura screeched, blushing furiously.

"Says the closet pervert, herself."

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Sakura could tell Kakashi was smiling at her, "In all seriousness, Sakura, I'll let you have the choice, just let me know tomorrow."

Sakura's mouth was gaping, she could scarcely believe what Kakashi was suggesting, no…blackmailing. It was either nearly naked in front of everyone or a private showing for her perverted teacher…neither sounded appealing to the surprisingly shy young woman, she wasn't sure she liked how this was turning out. Turning on her heal, Sakura walked away, leaving a grinning Kakashi in her wake.

"Tomorrow," the copy-nin called out to her as Sakura made her departure from the training grounds, leaving the copy-nin with many fantasies to consider about his young female teammate.

* * *

_**END OF CHAPTER**_

**Authors Note:** I just want to say that this story **is not** meant to be my best work, it is just a fun little, cracky fic which I can use to blow off steam and write and not have to worry about things being perfect, or really making sense. It borders on parody and is heavily laden with fantasies for us ladies (and the guys out there who share our passion for men's underwear).


	4. Chapter 4

_**Underwear**_  
**_by Lemon Drops/thatreevesgirl (they're both me)_**

**Authors Note:** Didn't get to the fun stuff yet, just some more fun dialogue with Ino and a dream sequence…yay for cliché dream sequences

_**Chapter 4: Upon Conversations and Dreams  
**_

* * *

Sakura mused to herself, _if I kill Ino now, no one will know, everything will be just fine, I'll just have to find a place to bury the body, _were her thoughts as she glared at the blonde woman who was shrieking with laughter.

"I can't believe what he's making you do. That is priceless, little virgin Sakura stripped naked…"

"Not naked, Ino-pig! Just like they were, to my underwear, I refuse to belittle myself any further than that, no matter what my idiot sensei says."

The grin on Ino's face spread like wildfire, a devious smirk which licked at her features and contorted them into some sinister devilish expression. "I think you like the idea of this…splashing and playing with your boys in the water, having them fawning all over you. You do know that is exactly what they'll do, spend the entire time ogling you and wading in the deep end of the river to hide how much they enjoy the show."

Sakura huffed and buried her head in her arms, almost shaking because she was so nervous, and Ino wasn't helping, telling her that she'd have four aroused men watching her every move. Great, that was just fucking great.

"Why are you worrying about this so much? Isn't it what you wanted from the very start? If I were you, I'd try to use this to my advantage."

The glare which shot from Sakura to Ino was deadly, "I blame you for all of this, Ino-pig. If it weren't for your stupid suggestion I wouldn't have to expose myself in front of anyone," Sakura hissed, repositioning herself on the ratty blue chair in her apartment so she could ignore Ino better.

"I was inside that body, and damn, Sakura, I was so aroused I actually got a rise out of him. The stupid man was half-hard from my thoughts alone."

Sakura sputtered and stared at her friend, had Ino just said what she said she did?

"It took all my willpower not to reach down and give that tasty piece of man a good groping."

"From what I could tell, you didn't keep your hands completely to yourself," Sakura reminded Ino, knowing her friend had caressed Kakashi's muscles with the borrowed fingers of the copy-nin.

Ino grinned deviously, "And can you really blame me?"

Sakura remembered the way Kakashi's navy undergarments clung suggestively to the lower half of his body, and realized that if she'd been in Ino's position she probably would have done the exact same thing. It wasn't like she hadn't fantasized about touching Kakashi before, having him let her explore his body with tentative and unsure fingers, teaching her how to touch him in just the right way…_oh cripes, I'm such a pervert!_

"What should I do?" Sakura asked, praying the answer would just come to her, and she wouldn't have to worry about this anymore.

"Well, if you do join in a group swim you'll get to be up close and personal with all four of them while they are only covered by small strips of wet, clingy material…but if you choose only Kakashi then you have a good chance of him showing you a splendidly pleasant evening between the sheets of his or your bed. I honestly don't know which you should choose, they both sound far too inviting. My guess would be that you could weasel your way into both situations if you play your cards right."

"What? Are you serious? I'm trying to get out of this, not do both, you pervert!" Sakura shrieked.

"Oh stop being such a prude, don't be afraid to have a little fun with those smexy teammates of yours. Live vicariously, Sakura, for me if not for yourself. I personally want to know if Kakashi is as talented as the rumors say."

"You have an obsession with my sensei, and it's a bit disturbing. If you want him so badly, then why don't you pursue him yourself? Maybe if you had someone else Shikamaru might realize he can't bag Temari every time he goes to Suna," Sakura grumbled. It was a good idea though, seeing as Ino was obviously infatuated with Kakashi.

"Perhaps, but I'll let you have first pick," Ino offered, then sat and eyed Sakura as she waited for her friend's decision.

"Stop staring at me, Ino-pig, its freaking creepy!" Sakura whined, trying to distract herself and Ino from the problem at hand. Sakura had no idea what she was going to do, and honestly thinking about it only made her feel exhausted…more like the thought of tomorrow's training made her feel exhausted. Honestly, Sakura would probably be too fatigued tomorrow to even care what the hell happened to her, definitely too worn out to worry about being modest.

_Stupid copy-nin. Stupid sensei. Stupid, stupid Kakashi!_

Sakura sighed, "I'm going to bed Ino-pig, go home."

Ino looked disappointed, she had really wanted to know what Sakura was going to decide, but supposed that spying on the group tomorrow would be a good alternative. Sakura didn't seem like the kind to sleep with anyone quite so suddenly, so swimming with the group of them in her underwear, that was definitely more Sakura's style.

Ino slinked off of the couch and walked to Sakura, giving her a hug goodnight and in a passing thought mentioned an idea which had crept into her mind earlier in the day, "When are we going to find out about the rest of the guys?"

Sakura was confused, and didn't have a clue to what Ino was referring to. "Huh?"

"You know, Gaara, Kiba, Shino, Neji…the whole lot of other sexy men in Konoha. They will forever prance about in my mind wearing only underwear till we find out for certain what their preferences are."

Sakura shrugged, "Maybe we can ask Temari, TenTen, or Hinata…"

Sakura didn't even have a chance to finish her sentence, because Ino shrieked in girlish, happy glee. "Yes! Hinata, why didn't I think of it before! She can use her Byakugan and do the peeping for us!!!"

"Doesn't the Byakugan see chakra, not underwear?" the rose-haired kunoichi inquired.

"It can see a lot of things, so I've heard. Shy Hyuuga heiress my ass! I bet she's peaked at all the boys in town…I bet she knows _everything_ about them," Ino replied, liking the thought of enlisting Hinata to help their underwear-fetish club more and more by the minute.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow morning while you're training, you'll swim in the afternoon, and later…well, you might be busy with Kakashi, but when you're done we'll go have a fun spying on some of the sexier members of the Konohan elite, how does that sound?"

"Like the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Sakura grumbled, "But it might work." As an afterthought, because she hadn't really realized Ino had mentioned Sakura hooking up with Kakashi until she'd calmly glossed over that tidbit of information, Sakura hissed, "I'm not sleeping with my sensei, but the swimming thing…I might do that."

"Good girl," Ino chimed, grinning from ear to ear as she left.

* * *

Dreams which included men parading around in underwear had invaded Sakura's non-waking hours in the past, but they had never been quite so interactive. Sakura was sitting at the edge of a large, plush bed, one which covered in red silk sheets…those sheets also being wrapped around her, the only thing between the peeping eyes of her dream-teammates (who were scantily clad in only their underwear) and Sakura.

"Be a good little Sakura, and tell us which of us you really want," Kakashi purred at her, tugging that mask of his down below his chin and giving her a sexy smile.

"Can't you tell?" Sasuke asked his teacher with the typical Uchiha air about him, "She wants us to give her a little show…a demonstration."

Naruto rubbed his hand over the front of his black and orange, vertical-striped boxer-briefs suggestively, and murmured, "Sakura deserves to be shown a good time, don't you Sakura, so whichever of us wins must be worthy of her."

Sai hooked his thumb into the waistband of his boxers and shifted them a bit lower, almost revealing all of his smooth, alabaster skin which the underwear hid. "Beauty deserves beauty," he told her with a smirk.

Sakura shuddered, trying to stay composed as she watched the four shinobi posing and touching themselves provocatively. _This is a dream, right? Dreams don't count, right???_

Kakashi crept onto the bed, crawling toward her, "Would you like to peek? To touch? To taste?"

Each of Kakashi's sultry suggestions were highly tempting, Sakura gulped, trying to force herself to breath even though it was only a dream. "I'm not sure Kakashi-sensei…I don't know if…"

"Come now, Sakura, we know you'd like to," Sasuke said as he appeared behind her, leaning against her bare back, the texture of his black boxer-briefs rubbing against her skin irritatingly, especially since it was accompanied by a hardness which thrust against her lightly.

_This is a dream…I've never…how is it that I can feel him…I'm such a pervert!_

Naruto was suddenly on one side of her, and Sai on the other, both men grinning like Cheshire cats preparing to pounce. Sakura was cornered by four horny, dream-men, wearing the sexiest underwear she'd ever seen in her life, willing to please and act out any of her fantasies. They were preparing to jump her any moment…any minute…any…

Sakura grumbled as she woke to the stinging sound of her alarm clock as it shrieked a good morning at her in the most uncaring of ways.

_Damn it! _she thought, _how is it that I'm about to have the best dream of my life, and instead I have to go work my ass off in a training field and then be subjected to ogling by my teammates._

Her real teammates would not be the submissive, naughty men like in her dream, no, definitely not. Too bad, it was a nice thought. Sakura resigned herself to the reality of her situation and drug herself out of bed to shower and dress. _If only the real things were like their dream-counterparts…I'd happily take them all then._ All of them, Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke and Sai…her boys, her sexy, sexy boys who made Sakura salivate at the mere thought of them. It was going to be difficult to choose, even if they weren't the dream versions of Sakura's fantasies, because something told her she'd have one of them before this whole ordeal was over.

_**END OF CHAPTER**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Underwear**_

_**by Lemon Drops/thatreevesgirl (they're both me)**_

**_Chapter 5: Overtly Perverted  
_**

* * *

****

As Sakura finished her thousandth lap around Konoha she collapsed into a weak puddle, shaking from pure exhaustion just as she predicted the damn copy-nin would make her do. A thousand laps around Konoha wasn't really a challenge for her, but coupled with the ten other arduous exercises he'd ordered upon her already this morning, and the leg weights which were reminiscent of the ones Rock Lee wore, there was no way she could move, let alone train a minute more.

"It's only eleven in the morning, Sakura," Kakashi muttered, not amused that she was already so spent, "This little problem with stamina is not a good one, I had no idea you had become so lazy since you started spending half your allotted mission and training hours at the hospital."

The smug look Kakashi wore was enough to make her want to punch him, if she had a single ounce of energy left to do so that is. He grinned under his mask, probably a feral, knowing grin, one which did nothing but piss Sakura off as she lay sprawled on the ground looking up at her teacher. She almost wanted to go find Ino again, give her friend permission to take Kakashi's body hostage, and make him do dirty, indignant things which would infuriate him to no ends.

"Get up, you aren't done," he ordered.

Sakura whimpered, he was such a ruthless trainer at times, "I need to take a break…my legs hurt so much that I've nearly lost all sensation in them," she murmured. And it was true, her body was nearly broken after pushing through all of Kakashi's training regimen harshly without a single complaint.

Kakashi, of course, didn't look amused and reached down to drag her up if that was what it took. "Get up!" he hissed as he grabbed one of her arms and hoisted her into a seated position. Kakashi was almost sorry he did so as Sakura nearly wailed in pain, she had pushed herself as hard as she could through the training, not letting herself go easy at all. The training she had already finished would usually have taken her most of a day, but she wanted to stupidly prove herself to Kakashi, or something. She was regretting it now, and so was Kakashi as he noted Sakura wasn't faking.

"Really, Kakashi," she whispered, "I think I overdid it a little, just a few minutes? I promise I'll start again right after I catch my breath."

Sakura's teacher sighed, releasing his hand on her arm which was intent on forcing more training upon her, and instead scooped her up and carried her to the shade of a nearby tree. Sakura didn't know which was worse, Kakashi forcing her to train till she collapsed, or the embarrassment caused by being cradled in the arms of the illustrious copy-nin (though the second option was definitely the more alluring of the two). She took comfort in his strength, enjoying the feeling of his broad, muscled shoulders and sturdy arms which held her tightly to him.

"A few minutes," Kakashi told her as he set Sakura down against a soft mossy mound at the base of the tree, taking a seat beside her and pulling out a familiar book to read.

Sakura was sure her sensei read more smut than any other person in the entire universe. _Just imagine the thousands of techniques he's probably privy to thanks to his little erotica addiction, _she thought to herself, a thought which made her blush brightly. Sakura was glad she was completely flushed already from her workout, because it hid the newly perverse-induced pink tinge on her cheeks.

"Have you made your decision yet?" Kakashi asked, breaking the silence between them with a question which Sakura dreaded even more than additional training. Sakura knew what he meant, he was alluding to whether she wanted to show off in front of her team, or give him a private showing of what she looked like in her undergarments.

She had decided…to swim, innocently swim and enjoy the cool waters as the boys did yesterday, but part of her desperately wanted to try both tasks as Ino had suggested. Was that really such a bad idea? Glancing over at Kakashi, inspecting him carefully, Sakura knew it wasn't, he was an unbelievably handsome man. Perhaps it wasn't a bad idea, but it certainly wasn't a proper one.

"A swim…" she began, not believing the look of disappointment which nearly instantaneously formed on Kakashi's masked face, "But maybe…"

She couldn't finish speaking, the words were starting to jumble and twist, and if she chose to speak anymore Sakura was sure it would come out in broken stutters, reminiscent of the days when a young Hinata tried to speak with Naruto.

"I'll accept that," Kakashi told her with a hopeful, smiling eye-crease. The older jonin knew Sakura well, and a maybe was definitely a good sign from the shy kunoichi. Sakura might have been bold and powerful in battle, but she was nearly as meek as Hinata when it came to dealing with the realities of more carnal pursuits. A maybe from her suited Hatake Kakashi just fine, it meant she just needed a little more convincing, and the older shinobi had complete confidence in his powers of persuasion.

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Dark pools of muddy water gathered in the training grounds from the rain the previous night. Ino stepped carefully between puddles as she made her way to where Sasuke and Naruto were training, first coming across Sai who was seated on the ground making careful brush strokes on parchment paper, animals and objects dancing to life when he finished. A set of ink lions speedily danced over to where Naruto and Sasuke were sparring, adding to the complexity of their training as the two lions attempted to take the blond and raven haired pair of jonin down.

"Those are lovely, very elegant, Sai," Ino complimented the artist with a warm smile. After resigning from the ANBU, Sai became a permanent fixture of Team Seven.

Over the years Sai had become more adept to conversing and interacting in the team he had once been temporarily assigned, and thus with other people as well.

Sai grinned a warm and true smile at the kunoichi and nodded, "Thank you, any requests for my next attack?"

Ino giggled a little. It was amazing to see the young artist be able to battle his teammates with ease and using little exertion on his own behalf, Sai was a deadly shinobi indeed. "I have always been partial to falcons myself, seeing as I use them for reconnaissance quite often. There is nothing better than the feeling of soaring over the earth hundreds of feet in the air."

The look Sai gave Ino bordered on quizzical, it was odd to think Ino could ever be a bird, but with her abilities she was able to take over the body of many things. Sai began carefully laying the lines to create a pair of falcons and without looking up, inquired about Ino's presence, "What brings you here?"

"I have something to speak to you, Naruto, and Sasuke about," Ino replied with a devilish smirk. "Do you think you three could take a short break?"

The dark haired artist released the two falcons into the air and leaned back to inspect the blonde woman beside him, scratching a spot right above his bellybutton as he considered her request. "Is it important?"

Ino's smirk spread across her face until it formed an all-out evil grin, "Absolutely."

Sai stood and waved his creations away, leaving a confused Sasuke and Naruto wondering where their drawn opponents disappeared to. Seeing Ino, Naruto sprinted over to his friend and threw her over his shoulder, giving her a hug and spinning her around until she nearly felt sick.

"Dear lord, Naruto, put me down! You are disgustingly sweaty," Ino mumbled as she smacked the blond man on the top of his head.

Naruto's eyes squinched into a sheepish look as he set Ino back onto solid ground. "Sorry Ino, I just wanted to say hi."

Ino sniffed herself. To her disdain she now reeked of sweaty male, which seemed to overwhelm her, even the flowery and light fruity smell of her perfume was diminished by Naruto's stench. "Naruto, you desperately need a shower."

Sasuke, who was lagging behind his teammate, and looking mostly disinterested at the person who had disrupted his training, added his own quip, "Try training with him. Some days I think he'll win from his stench alone, it's more deadly than he is, though I suppose that's not saying much."

Naruto shot Sasuke a warning glare and then plopped down on the ground, not even caring that he was getting his pants muddy. "So did you need something, Ino?"

Ino leaned down and tweaked Naruto's nose, "I need you to do me a favor."

One of Naruto's blond eyebrow's quirked skeptically, when Ino needed something it was never a good thing. Last time she needed a favor Naruto had spent the day letting her, Shikamaru, and Chouji use him as their training test dummy. "Is it going to hurt?"

Ino almost couldn't contain her laughter, but stifled it as she shook her head and replied, "I certainly hope not. I need you to keep a secret for me…all of you."

Sasuke raised a bored eyebrow and asked for clarification, "Secret?"

Ino nodded, "Yes, about your dear teammate Sakura, I came across some rather disturbing information."

All three men were focused on Ino as she continued, the kunoichi grateful for their interest in her story about Sakura. If Sakura knew what she was about to do Ino's rose-haired friend would have surely murdered Ino, but a word of this wouldn't be breathed to to Sakura, and hopefully none of the boys would tell her either.

"Last night Sakura invited me over to her place and told me how she got into big trouble with Kakashi-sensei yesterday."

Naruto was the first to pipe in, "What? What do you mean she got in trouble? She didn't even train with us yesterday."

Ino's wicked plan was thrown into action, "Yes, I suppose that's true, but it is what she was doing in her off-time which got her into trouble. She told me Kakashi caught her in the bushes by the river, spying on him and…well…you three. I guess she has a thing for men in their underwear and was enjoying her day off with a bit of voyeurism."

Ino of course left out the part with herself being involved in the whole scheme, because she wanted to have the three men enticed with only the thought of Sakura being a naughty little kunoichi.

"Sakura was spying on us?" Naruto asked dumbly.

Devil-Ino smiled sweetly, in a completely innocent way and nodded, "Yeah, she did. I guess she devised the whole thing so she could watch you four in your underwear…she has an underwear fetish you know, really likes watching guys strutting around in only their undergarments. Sad, perverted Sakura, what will I ever do with her?"

The feigned innocence was played quite well by the blonde kunoichi, and she noted that Sai was fidgeting, Sasuke was gulping down a lump in his throat, and Naruto's eyes were bugging out of his head.

"I just wanted to forewarn all of you. Don't hurt Sakura! She apparently has taken a liking to your four, and I don't want to see her devastated," Ino paused and smiled again, "But I would really like for Sakura to have her fantasies come true. She told me Kakashi is making all of you swim in your undergarments today, Sakura included. If any of you cares about her, give her a good show…try and sway her your way, because my perverted prude of a friend deserves a bit of happiness."

Ino turned quickly and strutted away, waving at the stunned young men as she went. Her duty was done. Sakura was in for the show of her life, and Ino was positive all four would soon be vying for her friend's attention. Now all Ino had left to do was convince Sakura that she should try out more than one of those delectable studly men, perhaps at the same time.

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Hinata Hyuuga spent her days in one of three ways: training with her teammates, teaching advanced jutsu techniques at the academy, or working part-time in the hospital in the children's wing. It was depressing to know how many youngsters had to be hospitalized due to war, fighting, and various other reasons, but that was why Hinata felt it was her duty to help them. She was a kind and generous kunoichi who was well loved by both the hospital patients and staff.

Today Hinata was working a three hour shift at the hospital. She took a clipboard and examined it closely, reading the information about her next patient, a young girl who apparently had a jutsu go wrong while working on a class assignment at the academy. She would have to take note of who this youngster was and work with them one-on-one the next time she was teaching. Safety was very important to Hinata, and apparently she hadn't gotten that fact through to the young girl. Looking over the chart one last time, Hinata realized she couldn't put a face to the name. She knew most of the children at the academy, especially ones who would be working on advanced jutsu techniques. Maybe the girl was a passing student from one of the other villages, only here as part of the exchange program, though Hinata was sure she'd know about someone like that as well.

Pulling back a white curtain she looked at the blonde seven year old with a goofy grin. Hinata was confused, because this girl looked just like a younger version of…

A puff of smoke enveloped the room, and suddenly there was no youngster sitting on the edge of the bed, only a smirking Ino. "You are a busy one, Hinata, nearly impossible to track down."

Hinata giggled, it was a slow morning at the hospital, and Ino's little prank was actually appreciated, "I like to stay busy, Ino, it keeps my mind sharp. What are you doing here?"

The blonde stretched herself like a cat, and the look in her eye told Hinata she was getting ready to pounce, "What would it take to get you to request a day off?"

A day off? Hinata hadn't had one of those in years, at least not one which she personally requested. If she was needed she worked, and if she wasn't she busied herself with Kiba and Shino, or other projects at home.

"I suppose I could, but why?" Hinata asked crinkling her pretty creamy eyes into a vague look of confusion.

The cackle which came from Ino was positively conniving, and Hinata shuddered. She knew Ino well, and when she acted like this, it never meant something good. What was she scheming?

"Did you know Sakura and I started a club?" Ino asked innocently. If she was honest, she and Sakura had done nothing of the sort officially, but it sounded good to Ino, so she decided to form it without Sakura's approval. Ino was doing a lot of things today which her friend might not consent to, but they were for Sakura's own good. Not only that, but a club which dealt with the enlightenment of women concerning men's underwear choice would profit by having a member like Hinata, wielder of the Byakugan

"A club? No I didn't know that, Ino."

"Sakura and I would really like you to join, and I think you'll like it a lot, Hinata."

Well…Hinata would enjoy it with a little practice, she was shyer than Sakura, but Ino was certain Hinata was a closet pervert just like her other friend.

"What kind of club is it?" Hinata inquired, not liking that Ino wasn't telling her more.

"A club which devotes itself to the study of men's underwear and the handsome hunks who wear it."

Hinata nearly fainted at the description. _A club about men's underwear AND the men who wore it???_ Why would Ino think Hinata would want to join _that_ kind of club? Okay, so she peeked at the guys a few times with her Byakugan…okay, so she peeked quite a bit…but only secretly. Neji would be so disappointed to know she did such things with her inherited bloodline-trait.

Ino waited for a few moments to let the invitation sink in. "So what do you say, Hinata? We could use someone like you, and I promise you that this is a very secretive club. No one will ever know about it or your involvement."

Hinata gulped, this was quite the tempting offer. She would get to spend time with her friends discussing…

Hinata's blush was so fierce Ino thought perhaps she was wrong about the other kunoichi, maybe Hinata wasn't a closet pervert, but when Hinata nodded slightly Ino jumped for joy. It might have been silly and slightly childish, but Ino couldn't think of anything else more entertaining to fill her time.

_Let the spying begin,_ Ino thought to herself, _those men won't know what hit them._

_**END OF CHAPTER**_

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**End of Chapter A/N's**: I know, I know…short chapter. I shall be maimed later for leaving it there, but I wanted to give you all something to read. I hope you enjoy it. I hope to have the next one out soon.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Underwear**_

_**by Lemon Drops/thatreevesgirl (both me)**_

**_Chapter 6: Choosing the Proper Fit_**

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****

Hinata, still red, and looking a bit more than numb, glanced up at Ino who was scheming and planning. It scared Hinata, what had she gotten herself into?

"When does your shift end today?" Ino asked. Hinata was sure she saw a forked tongue slither between Ino's lips, and certainly there would be a pair of horns hidden somewhere among those pretty blonde locks of hair. Evil, so very, very evil.

"At noon, why do you ask, Ino?"

Ino cackled, doing some calculations in her head quickly, nodding to herself and then grabbed Hinata by the arm. "I'm sure they won't mind if you leave a few minutes early today. Come on, it's nearly noon as it is."

Hinata tried to fight back, but Ino was a highly determined person, and one cannot dissuade Ino once she's set her mind on something. Hinata gulped, she hadn't expected her initiation to come quite this quickly, but she was certain the reason why she was being drug from the hospital had everything to do with underwear and the club she have received an invitation into.

Mustering ever bit of her willpower, Hinata stomped her foot down and brought Ino and herself to a full stop, "Ino, where are we going?"

The smile which Ino gave Hinata this time was much sweeter than the devil-wear she'd plastered on her face earlier. Ino nodded her head, "I'm sorry, I was in such a hurry I didn't even explain what we are going to do. There is going to be a small _gathering_ of sorts in the training area today, and we have to be there to see it."

Hinata's left eyebrow rose skeptically, she knew it, it _did_ have something to do with underwear.

"You see, Sakura is in a bit of a scrape, and I need to be there to make sure everything goes as planned, but I need another person there as well."

Another person? "You need my Byakugan?"

"No, not today. I need someone there in case I have to use my body-transfer jutsu. Please Hinata? I'll explain the rest on the way, but we really do have to get going."

Ino's eyes pleaded with Hinata, and like most times when people came to her for help, Hinata couldn't refuse. "Oh, fine, but you will explain this to me, and if I find it to be something I don't wish to associate myself with, I will leave. Is that understood, Ino?"

Ino nodded. It was a good thing Hinata agreed, because she really did need another person there if she had to use her jutsu. Hopefully her pink-haired friend wouldn't need the extra push and would use her womanly wiles to their fullest, but if Sakura didn't, if she decided to be the scared little girl who hovered in a corner of the water…Ino cackled, _someone_, namely her, would make sure the boys were fully enticed by a half-naked Sakura.

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Now for a game of riddles: How long does it take for Sasuke Uchiha to wrap his mind around the idea that his teammate Sakura has an underwear fetish? Give up? Well, it's about as long as it takes Naruto Uzumaki to understand why Sakura would want to be peeping at him, and just under the amount of time it takes for the artistically talented Sai to doodle a picture of a naked Sakura in his sketchbook. That is how long it takes for Sasuke Uchiha to even remotely begin to comprehend the perverse nature of his own female teammate.

"She was peeping, you know, watching us," Naruto stammered out, still in a bit of a daze as he sat in the mud.

Sai, clearly the least experienced with tact, but (surprisingly) the most experienced with women out the three men just muttered, "What did you expect? Women have fantasies and fetishes as well, they _are_ human just like the rest of us, just like you, Naruto. We all know why you carry around that picture of Sakura in your coin purse. You always take it with you into the woods when we're on missions."

Naruto was grateful Sai ended what he was saying right there, because what Naruto's teammate was implying he did with the picture didn't need to be explained any further.

"Tch," Sasuke interjected his thoughts on the situation, if that could even be called an opinion. Honestly, Sasuke didn't really know what to say or think, because all this underwear nonsense really put his mind into a bit of a tailspin. It was Sakura, annoying little Sakura who always followed him around in their early years of being genin, purring atrocious things like Sasuke-kun this and Sasuke-kun that. Sasuke had to admit that she wasn't _that_ annoying anymore, and she had helped save him, even staying by his side when he returned to Konoha. Was it wrong that he felt a bit complimented by the whole situation?

"So, you know, do you guys?" Naruto asked, and then just waited for Sai or Sasuke to answer.

Incomplete thoughts for complete idiots, Sasuke grumbled to himself. "What do mean by that?" he asked aloud.

"Do you guys like her? I mean, I do, I always have, but I was just kind of curious to know what my competition is," Naruto reiterated.

Sai shrugged and decided to doodle another rendition of naked Sakura and Sasuke responded with another curt, "Tch." It was humorous to know that Naruto wholeheartedly accepted both as legitimate answers from his slightly odd teammates. Naruto could see the picture of Sakura that Sai was drawing, it was both beautiful and a very dignified artistic nude…so that was a yes from him. And Sasuke? Tch was his typical 'I'm interested, but I'm not admitting it' answer that he always used in lieu of yes. If he wasn't interested then he would have simply walked away and acted bored by the idea, but seeing as he was actively (as actively as tch can be considered) engaged in the conversation concerning Sakura, Naruto _knew_ Sasuke liked her.

Now, all that was left was to determine what Kakashi's involvement in the whole affair was. It made Naruto cringe a little to think of his older, pervert of a teacher slobbering all over Sakura, but he did suppose Kakashi had been swimming with them as well. Did Sakura like older men? Naruto kind of hoped not, because he didn't really find Sai or Sasuke to be tough competition when vying for Sakura's affections (a foolish miscalculation on his part), but he considered his experienced sensei someone who could probably give them all a run for their money.

"So are you two going to do it?" Naruto asked, "Are we all swimming today?"

"Sounds like a nice break," Sai responded quickly, which elicited a nod in agreement from Sasuke.

Naruto grinned and chuckled, "Just to let you know, both of you are going to lose. Sakura's gonna be mine."

Sai rolled his eyes slightly and continued to draw. Sasuke started walking back to the training field, but added a snippy, "Why would Sakura want a pet idiot?" as he went.

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Kakashi hadn't made Sakura do anymore training, he just smiled as he watched her doze off under the tree. My, my, his little pupil had definitely blossomed into quite the beautiful flower. Kakashi hadn't expected that. Sadly, he barely considered her an option before the whole swimming fiasco (at least consciously, but then again he did dream of her naked in his bed on many occasions). Having a fantasy about someone was much different than actually considering them.

If Kakashi decided to pursue relationships with each woman he fantasized about, then he probably would have to juggle at least ten girlfriends at a time, and dump them to get new ones on a regular basis. Kakashi wasn't real big on the whole relationship thing, too much trouble, too much worrying, but Sakura made him realize one thing…he _was_ lonely. There was a dangerous combination of things playing about in Kakashi's head: he was lonely, he trusted Sakura, he was attracted to Sakura, Sakura was his friend…add those things up in an equation and he quickly realized he liked the idea of being with Sakura (which scared Kakashi to death).

Kakashi shook his head, trying to rid himself of such stupid thoughts, because was he really the one she was after? If you thought about it, Kakashi might have just been the device used to get the other three in the water. Kakashi was the only one who could legitimately allow such a silly thing to occur, because if he hadn't, there would be no way the other three members of team seven would have discarded their training regimen. Kakashi wanted to ask Sakura if she really meant it when she said maybe, or was she just being nice to her old, perverted teacher. Kakashi sighed, he wasn't even that old, but in Sakura's eyes he might seem ancient. It didn't help that Kakashi had naturally silver hair (usually reserved for old geezers), or that he kept his face covered so no one really knew he was a rather attractive thirty-two year old man. It was silly for the copy-nin to be so self-conscious, but he worried nonetheless.

It occurred to Kakashi that he might have spelled his own demise, killing any chances to woo Sakura since he idiotically (mostly to see Sakura half-naked) decided to force her to swim today with the rest of the team. Now Kakashi didn't want Naruto, Sasuke, or Sai to see Sakura so exposed, and he certainly didn't want to give her a chance to see his competition. At this point he couldn't really withdraw yesterday's punishment (the idea of a half-naked Sakura still won out over canceling it all just because the rest of the team would also enjoy Kakashi's secret reprimand for Sakura's inappropriate behavior). Kakashi smirked, he supposed he would have to use his own secret weapon, the one that none of the boys could even begin to compete with.

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"You're sure we're well hidden?" Hinata asked nervously.

The good thing about bringing along Hinata, was that she was nearly as good as Sakura at masking chakra signatures. Ino was cackling deviously inside her head as she watched Sakura from a good hundred meters away through binoculars. "We're fine, her sensei is far too focused on sleeping beauty anyway."

Hinata, though not sure why she found it so noble (since it was intertwined with something so perverse), was nonetheless touched that Ino was going to great lengths to help Sakura find the perfect man. The pale-eyed woman was certainly a big believer in all things romantic, even if she herself wasn't currently an active pursuer of it, not exactly. Many years ago she had a crush on Naruto, and in a way she still did, so secretly Hinata hoped that one of the other members of team seven would win Sakura's heart, and not Naruto. Growing older had taught her many things, but the greatest of these lessons was that admiration didn't equal love. She admired Naruto for his strength and determination, but Hinata was beginning to realize what real love was like, the kind that was more a give and take type of relationship, and not just a silly, innocent crush.

There _was_ someone Hinata was beginning to consider, and it was sad to see him so lonely, especially because he was such a proud and eloquent man. Since turning eighteen Hinata had watched as Shino's parents encouraged him to begin looking for someone to settle down with, but the poor man was rejected time and time again, even the toughest of kunoichi were slightly repulsed by the thought of a man who housed thousands of tiny insects inside of him. One morning a year or so ago, Hinata found Shino on a park bench watching butterflies as they danced from flower to flower. It was something he normally enjoyed quite a bit, but he looked wholly dejected as he observed his beloved insects.

"_Good morning, Shino," Hinata told her teammate with a smile, taking a seat beside her friend on the bench and watching the beautiful site before her. Shino had long ago instilled a respect and love for these tiny, graceful creatures in Hinata._

_Shino glanced at Hinata and sighed, leaning back on the bench and craning his neck so he could stare into the sky. Hinata worried, she'd never seen Shino acting so strangely._

"_Are you okay?" she asked quietly, lying her hand softly on his shoulder and receiving a quiet hiss of air in reply as he released a trapped, depressed breath._

"_Am I really that disgusting?" Shino asked Hinata._

_Hinata was confused at the question, who found Shino disgusting? Unlike most people, Hinata was unaware that Shino was considered many things…serious, loyal, mysterious, but also creepy and revolting seemed to find themselves fairly high on the list of things people called him._

_Hinata shook her head, "That is a rather stupid question, Shino, of course you aren't disgusting."_

_He looked at her through his dark glasses, his body swallowed up by the bulky clothing which hid the many holes his destruction bugs used to go in and out of his body, leaning forward and slumping a bit he murmured, "Thanks, Hinata, I appreciate that."_

Since that day several years ago, Hinata met Shino a couple times a week in the park to take a walk, have picnics, or just discuss silly things which seemed to plague their minds. Sometimes they would go have tea together afterwards, and on a few occasions Hinata would invite Shino over to her home for dinner. Nothing romantic had happened yet, Shino hadn't really made any kind of move to let her know he was interested, but Kiba had pulled her aside one morning during training and lectured Hinata about playing with people's emotions. Hinata had been clueless to what Kiba was talking about, but as the dog-nin shuffled away and walked over to Shino, who was watching her carefully, she had a pretty good idea. Shino was just afraid of getting hurt, at least that's what Hinata thought it probably meant. Too bad she was too shy to ask the bug-nin about it herself. Perhaps she'd ask Ino for help once they were done toying with Sakura's love life.

"Ah, here we go, he's waking her up," Ino excited whispered as she shuffled back and forth, clucking menacingly as she watched Sakura and Kakashi together.

"Who do you think Sakura will pick?" Hinata asked as she too pulled a small pair of binoculars from her hippack to observe Kakashi and Sakura.

Ino sniffed and shrugged, "Eh, I dunno, but I _hope_ she gets Kakashi. What a stud…you should have seen him the other day, Hinata, better yet, I wish you knew what it was like to be inside him. It was all my fantasies come true, that's for sure. Who do you want to see her with?"

Hinata's first instinct was to say Naruto, because the want for him to be happy almost overrode the slight jealousy she had for the blond's crush on Sakura, but instead she muttered, "Sakura always liked Sasuke, and he deserves to be happy after everything he's gone through. I think they'd make a good match."

Ino let loose a snort and she scuffled in her crouched position, "Stupid forehead is not getting _my _Sasuke."

Hinata giggled, she knew Ino was only joking. The blonde woman had alluded to such as she explained the situation to Hinata while they made their way to the training ground. Ino sincerely said she wanted only the best for her friend, which meant no matter who Sakura chose, Ino would support her friend's decision.

"Look, look!" Ino whispered excitedly, nearly giving away her and Hinata's positions. "Aww, that is so cute, he's helping her up. Dear lord he is so damn hot, how can she not choose him?"

"I'd have a hard time choosing if I were her," Hinata said quietly. "They are all rather handsome."

Ino dropped her hand which held the binoculars as she studied Hinata, "Huh? I thought for sure you'd choose the giant ball of moron."

Hinata pulled her binoculars down from her face and shook her head, "I don't think Naruto and I will ever be more than just friends, and…that's okay, because…" Hinata blushed furiously and returned the binoculars to her eyes and tried to ignore how embarrassed she felt. "I think I might like someone else, someone who actually notices me. Naruto would be much happier with someone like Sakura."

Hinata had successfully piqued Ino's curiosity, and the other woman poked Hinata in the side with her index finger while sporting a huge grin on her face, "Who? Who do you like?" Ino was very happy to hear Hinata was taking an interest in other people, because she did worry that Naruto would never wake up and realize what a great thing he had right in front of him, he was too smitten with the thought of Sakura.

"S…Shino," Hinata stuttered, "He and I have become really good friends, and if I…"

Hinata was going to say 'if she had the courage,' but it kind of felt like a slap in the face to what Naruto had always taught her. She was supposed to go after her dreams and whatnot, so why was she slipping back into old habits, unable to move forward and really scared that her and Shino would be a repeat of what happened with her and Naruto.

Ino smiled softly at Hinata and gave the shy woman's arm a squeeze, team romance was an awfully common thing, and Ino was privy to the knowledge that Shino had been rejected by several other women. She vowed to play matchmaker a second time as soon as she got Sakura to jump some of her sexy teammates. Maybe Ino would just deem herself cupid, it seemed befitting of her new role in Konoha, setting up situations which gave women a chance to live out their fantasies.

Ino gave Hinata a wink and told her, "I'll help you, count me in!"

Hinata nodded and the two continued to spy on the kunoichi and her sensei, who was now joined by a group of eager looking young men (which Ino swore made Kakashi scowl). It was definitely going to be a good show.

* * *

_**END OF CHAPTER**_

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**A/N's: **I bet you want to kill me for not getting to the swimming part. Sorry, I'll get to it next chapter, I promise. I however was able to write the starts of Hinata and Shino fluff (which I've always wanted to do). If Naruto doesn't get Hinata, then usually Kiba does. What about poor Shino. I love Shino, therefore I'm giving him some well deserved lovin' in this story. Hinata would be so good for him. 


	7. Chapter 7

_**Underwear**_

_**by Lemon Drops/thatreevesgirl (both me)**_

_**Chapter 7: In(o) Control**_

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One…two…three…four. Four hungry male gazes found their way to Sakura, who happened to be as disheveled as they come. Sweat seemed to drip from every pore, her pink hair tied tightly in a loop with a hair band, and she wearing more clothing that she probably should have that morning, especially when you considered how much training she'd just completed. 

As for the numerous articles of clothing, first there was the bra…oh the bra, and the panties! Sakura nearly groaned at the thought of the pair of undergarments she was wearing thanks to devil-Ino. That blonde pig had come to her apartment and raided her panty drawer at five thirty in the morning while Sakura was in the shower, picking out a set that would be comfortable enough to train in, but as Ino put it, "Sexy enough to make those boys want to rip them straight off." Yeah, that was exactly what Sakura needed, boys ripping her sweaty undergarments off of her. Ino had told her how good she looked in pink, very innocent, and that would drive her teammates mad. Sakura pondered for a moment, thinking that having her clothing ripped off by four sexy shinobi actually might not be so bad, then berated herself for being such a pervert.

On top of pink undies she wore her signature black leggings which came to mid thigh and a long, tight mesh tunic. The tunic's armlength was to her elbows and the bottom of the tunic, which went an inch or two past her underwear, was tucked straight into a maroon skirt, one with slits clear up to her hips, revealing both the mesh and the black leggings underneath when she gracefully moved during sparring or battle. Over the tight mesh top she wore a semi-fitted dark pink sleeveless shirt and then her flack jacket. To add to her punishment, she had decided that knee-length fitted sandals, armguards, wristguards, three kunai pouches, and as many bandages she could wind around herself in the places where there was any exposed flesh were a darn good idea.

The only thing the extra clothing had done was make her sweat furiously and itch in places not used to being covered during intense trainings like she had just completed. Sakura sighed, now she was going to strip every piece of protection off of her while those four hungry men watched. Why did they _all_ look like they wanted to jump her? Kakashi knew, but Sasuke, Naruto, and Sai were all far too intent on inspecting her every move for them to be completely in the dark with what was about to happen. Sakura scowled, something told her Ino had everything to do with that, and she promised to kill her friend as soon as the day was over.

Naruto interrupted Sakura's thoughts with some of his trademark whining, "Oi, Kakashi-sensei, it is sooo hot today, I'm dying out here."

Kakashi's uncovered eye lifted in a strange, confused kind of amusement while Naruto kept shifting his gaze between Sakura and the river about a hundred yards away. When Sasuke added, "It _is_ hot," and then folded his arms and attempted to stare down his teacher, who was standing next to Sakura, Kakashi almost revoked his earlier plan, but what fun would that be? He wanted to teach those three youngsters (because they were far too green and unknowing to deserve Sakura in his mind) a lesson or two in how to seduce a kunoichi.

It was always stressed to ninja, particularly the males, that they had to be wary of women who tried to seduce them (because often kunoichi were taught such methods in order to get close and steal information or even attempt assassination). Why the academies didn't also stress the reverse, Kakashi didn't know. Seduction, though thought of as mostly a woman's technique, was also something that male ninjas could easily use as well, it was just approached differently. Good thing Kakashi knew how to play that game, in fact, he knew what worked with females quite well. The lack of women in his bed was only by his choice, not because Kakashi was ignorant or naïve like the rest of team seven. The other three men looked like little lost, horny dogs or something, and that wouldn't be winning them any points when it came to wooing Sakura.

Naruto was pouting again, looking at the water like he was being deprived of something necessary for his survival, then whined as he begged Kakashi with his eyes. "Naruto, would you like to take a swim break?" Kakashi groaned out, trying to hide the annoyance in his voice, but failing at that task rather splendidly.

"I thought you'd never ask!" Naruto said with the brightest smile possible as he began to strip himself of his ninja gear, Sakura realized quickly that he was doing so rather unceremoniously, just tossing his clothing here and there in a frantic rush to get nearly naked.

"Sounds like a good idea, Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke added with a devilish smirk, and started unzipping his jounin flack jacket slowly while locking eyes with Sakura.

_He knows! Oh Kami, Sasuke knows! _Inner-Sakura screamed in a panic, realizing that Sasuke was stripping himself very deliberately in contrast to Naruto (who was currently throwing his clothing in a haphazard pile as he walked around, crouching and bending as he picked up the garments barefoot in only his underwear).

Sakura turned to hightail it out of there, but was met with her sensei blocking her path and smiling at her through his mask, "Sakura, you should join us. I _insist._"

The way Kakashi said the last word sent shivers up Sakura's spine, especially when she realized that Kakashi was currently beginning to take off his own clothing. Unlike Sasuke and Naruto, who had been several yards away from her, Kakashi was mere inches, and it unnerved the kunoichi to be in such close proximity to an undressing man.

_What have I gotten myself into?_ Sakura asked herself, unable to tear her eyes away from the incredible body of the copy-nin. As his flack jacket and baggy shirt were tossed to the ground, he was left standing in pants which were a tad oversized, and clinging to his hips. Sakura wondered how they managed to stay on him as he fought, but the questions seemed to drift away as she found her gaze locked on the mesh undershirt Kakashi was wearing. Kakashi didn't really like mesh, it wasn't something he wore often. Sakura wanted to hiss, _Why are you wearing that?, _but she was fairly sure it was for her benefit. She tried to pull her gaze away from that beautiful pale chest, but the well-sculpted muscles which peaked through the holes of the mesh were too tantalizing for her to stop ogling, especially when Sakura noted the contrast of Kakashi's small, dusky nipples against the rest of his creamy skin. It made her want to reach out and touch him, just test and see if he was real and this wasn't just a cruel dream her mind was tempting her with.

Sai broke the slightly perverse train of thought Sakura was stuck in when he asked, "Kakashi-sensei, is Sakura going to swim with us today?" The tone of his voice was rather flat, but it had that hint of emotion which Sai rarely showed, the curiosity he had whenever he explored ventures new to him.

Kakashi wasted no time beating around the bush, instead he added a very firm and succinct, "Yes," as he hooked his thumbs in the band of his pants and tugged them down, revealing Sakura's greatest weakness…her sensei, Sakura's ungodly beautiful teacher in only a mesh undershirt and the sexiest black silk boxers she had ever seen.

"I suppose I've earned…" Sakura began as her voice trailed off, too distracted by the shinobi in front of her, playing with the hem of the mesh as he smirked knowingly. Kakashi knew what he was doing, and he understood just how much he was affecting Sakura, even Sasuke couldn't compete with that, because his little strip show had been completely ignored as soon as Kakashi had began ridding himself of his clothes.

_Wait, isn't silk ruined when it gets wet? _Inner-Sakura asked curiously, but was interrupted by Kakashi leaning in and whispering into her ear, "If you are going to swim, you better get undressed Sakura," purring every word as if he were completely amused by the way he intimidated her. Sakura froze and then nodded slightly, unnerved by the way she could actually feel Kakashi's body heat radiating from him to her as he kept mere millimeters of space between their bodies.

Sakura unzipped her flack jacket, but no matter how much she wanted to go further, her nerves stopped her, because she could feel all four of her teammates watching her intently, none of them hiding the fact that they wanted Sakura naked too. Sakura was about to tell the four of them to start while she undressed behind a bush, but her body went rigid, and she suddenly had no control over her movements whatsoever.

Ino's body was slumped against Hinata's her fingers still making the seals necessary to begin her body transfer jutsu. It looked as though the blonde was asleep, but she was far from that, Hinata knew exactly where Ino was as she watched Sakura relax and smile coyly at the copy-nin.

_Ino-pig, get the hell out of my head! What are you doing??? _Sakura screeched to her friend, who was currently taking residence in her mind and controlling her body.

Ino chuckled in Sakura's head as the pink-haired kunoichi began removing her clothing unabashed, and very differently than she had been moments before. _"You better just go along with it, or our cover will be blown, you don't want them to know what really happened, do you?" _Ino's amused voice resounded in Sakura's mind.

_They already know, you stupid pig! You told them, didn't you? _ Sakura whined helplessly as she felt her jacket drop to the ground, and then her skirt followed, tangling itself around her ankles as Kakashi watched. The lustful look in his eyes wasn't missed by Sakura, he was apparently enjoying this very much.

"_Look at that Sakura, see…he wants you, he wants you bad," _Ino teased Sakura as her hand brushed up her stomach and over her breasts, making Kakashi's uncovered eye lift slightly as he gulped and shifted his body. _ "I told you that you'd get them aroused. I bet Naruto's behind you and dead from a nosebleed at this very moment."_

_You are such a pervert! _Sakura shouted in her own mind, but said nothing aloud. Her own lips even betrayed her as Ino made her smirk and lift her shirt straight up over her head, dropping it at her feet.

Ino glanced down at Sakura, using Sakura's own eyes to peep at what clothing was left for her to remove, _"With these high black sandals and this mesh you look naughtier than Anko right now," _Ino teased, _"Maybe I should have gone with the black panties instead, would have flowed better with this seductive little outfit you put together."_

_Seductive? It isn't supposed to be seductive, it is supposed to..._ but Sakura couldn't finished the thought, because she realized how much she did look like every Shinobi's wet-dream in her fitted mesh tunic, black leggings, and long sandals. Kakashi appeared like he was ready to render the rest of team seven unconscious and ravish her right there, and she didn't even want to know how Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai seemed like at the moment. Ino did, and spun her around to reveal three nearly naked shinobi staring at her intently.

Ino made Sakura smile sweetly at the three of them. "Why don't you guys go test out the water, I'll be right in," Sakura said by no decision of her own, and the three (especially Naruto whose hands were carefully positioned in front of his dark orange boxerbriefs, trying to hide how much he was affected by Sakura) started heading to the river, most likely to cool themselves off, less they were going to pounce Sakura right then and there.

Kakashi was still standing behind Sakura tsk-ing her, the copy-nin added quietly, "That is quite the outfit there Sakura, you put other kunoichi to shame. I never thought you would be such a tease, unless you weren't lying about giving me a private show later."

The silky-sweet words dripped from Sakura's mouth, spoken by Ino much to Sakura's disdain. "I'm not a tease, Kakashi, if I said I'd give you a private showing I will, but for right now I'd really like to swim, because you made me rather _hot_ today with all that training." Sakura almost died as she heard what Ino made her say, and she watched as Kakashi actually stepped back, fingers fidgeting as he stared at the pink-haired woman. Sakura wasn't trying to seduce Kakashi, really she wasn't, but his reaction was undeniably sexy as he nodded and pulled off his mesh undershirt. Sakura and Ino were arguing furiously in Sakura's head until they were silenced by the sound of one last piece of fabric hitting the ground.

"_Sakura, if you don't choose your sensei I will disown you as my friend," _Ino murmured as she and Sakura stared at the handsome, maskless man in front of them. _"He is the hottest man I have ever seen." _

Sakura would have agreed with Ino, but she was currently in shock, Kakashi sending her into brain a complete frenzy as he rubbed his neck and cocked his head to the side. "Feels good to let loose every once and awhile, doesn't it Sakura?" he asked with a handsome smirk. Sakura nodded enthusiastically and began unwinding bandages and unzipping her sandals, not even needing Ino to help her with the task. She had to do something to keep her mind off of the man in front of her, because never, _never_ had she ever been so attracted to a person in her entire life.

"_Somebody has a bit of a crush on her teacher," _came the sing-song voice of Ino in Sakura's mind. Sakura did her best to ignore the other woman who was bothering her and repositioning her hips and breasts, making them stick out awkwardly (or so Sakura thought, though Ino was actually quite good at making her friend look quite sexy as she stripped the remainder of her clothing).

_Ino-pig, I swear that you are going to die when today is over…_ Sakura's voice trailed off as she looked up at Kakashi one more time, smiling sweetly as she tugged the mesh over her head and was left in only her simple, pink underwear and bra. _I might pardon you if you help me._

"_Help you what?" _Ino asked teasingly, knowing full-well what Sakura was going to ask for.

_I want Kakashi, _Sakura replied quietly to the other woman in her head. _I choose him._

"_Hmm, but what about the other three? I bet you can have them all if you play your cards right. You can't deny poor Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai, they're vying for your attention too, so let them down easy, maybe after you get them naked in your bed," _Ino replied with a giggle. As an afterthought Ino added, _"So, you **are** going to let me tag along during your private showing too, right?"_ Kakashi had no idea that at that very moment, as Sakura smiled demurely at him, there were two rabid young women having a strange, imaginary brawl inside of Sakura.

In the water, nearly a hundred yards away, Sasuke, Naruto, and Sai were glowering at the sight of Kakashi getting all the attention from Sakura. "Eh, what makes him so special?" Naruto muttered as he dipped low in the cool water.

"Maybe it was because you scared her earlier when you popped wood in front of her," Sai replied dryly as he refocused his frustration on Naruto rather than his team-leader. "Maybe it's because the two of you are so ugly, or maybe she was disappointed by how small you were. I have to admit I was wrong about you being dickless, but I can see why I made the mistake," Sai growled. He of course wasn't being serious, but if he had to spend the time sitting in a cold river with two other guys, he sure was going to get a little entertainment out of it.

"You take that back!" Naruto shouted as he stood and shook his fist menacingly at Sai. "I'm packing, and you can't deny that, look, just look!" Naruto now pointed at his crotch, which made both Sai and Sasuke roll their eyes and groan.

"You are such an idiot," the other raven-haired young man told his friend. Naruto wasn't exactly the brightest shinobi in all of leaf. He was strong, good looking, funny, caring, optimistic, but unfortunately since he excelled in so many other aspects of his personality, he was lacking just a bit in the intelligence area. Naruto glared at the other ninja as Sasuke added, "And the water must be too cold for you or something, that or Sai's right."

Naruto exploded at the comment, "Oh yeah!?! Why don't you just whip out your little package of Rolaids and we can compare. Mine beats yours any day of the week, cold water or not."

Sai snorted and gave both of them genuine looks of disgust. "I don't want to see either of your shriveled dicks, so just stop it. What we need to do is come up with a plan to win her over Kakashi, because he is obviously beating us. I'd say he's all but sealed the deal."

Naruto's face fell into a deep, frozen look of shock before he muttered, "Oh hell no, Kakashi doesn't get to deflower _my _Sakura, that job is mine."

"Oh shut up, dead-last," Sasuke growled, "But I agree with Sai, if we are going to win we have to work together, even if only one of us gets her in the end."

Naruto scowled for a moment, trying to see how that would work, but a light seemed to go on for the dimwitted blond man as he smirked and nodded excitedly. "I get it, it's like the bell test from when we were younger, but Sakura's the bell. One bell, three guys, but it requires teamwork to get it."

Sai looked confused and raised his eyebrow at Sasuke as to ask, _is he alright in the head? _Sasuke nodded, adding to Sai's bewilderment, and replied, "Yes, like the bells. If we win we will draw straws or something, agreed?"

"Agreed," Naruto shouted with a wide, toothy grin.

Sai didn't know exactly what he was consenting to, but he also nodded and added, "Agreed."

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_**END OF CHAPTER**_

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**A/N's:** Like pulling teeth. The writer's block was killing me. I really can't tell if this is an okay chapter or not. I hope it is okay, and I know it is rather short. I'm a bad author, bad. The good news is that my sister and I plotted this story out last night (thank you my fav lil' sis in the entire world!). The stuff that is coming up in the story is hilarious. My goal is to get a TONFA humor nomination in the fall. It looks like this story is going to be 20-30 chapters, and the stuff coming up is hilarious (I almost passed out because I was laughing so hard at it last night). 


	8. Chapter 8

_**Underwear**_

_**by thatreevesgirl/Lemon Drops (both me)**_

**_Chapter 8: The Grand Plan (AKA Naruto takes one for the team)_**

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**_A/N's:_** _This will probably not be what some of you are expecting. I love all of you for reading this, but I have some really funny stuff coming up, and most likely it won't involve sex right away. I'm being a tease with this fic, I'm good at doing that, but I want to make sure your hopes aren't all on sex, because it might take awhile._

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Somewhere in Kakashi's brain bells and alarms should have been sounding. In fact, there was probably a bit of him screaming at that very moment, '_Hey, there is something very, very wrong here, ol' chap, so don't be getting those pretty, black boxers in a twist quite yet_.' Kakashi of course let the more lewd side of his mind take over, and was mesmerized by the sight which had just popped out of the water.

Only a few seconds ago Naruto had tackled Sakura into the semi-shallows of the river, a stupid strategy for the blond to try, it would only piss Sakura off. The kunoichi had come up from the experience dripping wet, and smiled as she ran her hands up and over her beautiful, porcelain skin to her light-pink hair, where she slicked it back and smirked wildly at Kakashi. This was right as the _other_ Sakura (most likely candidate, a transformed Naruto since he was good with making the female form) was doing the same thing and eyeing the real Sakura rather naughtily.

Was it wrong for Hatake Kakashi to be so greatly aroused by this sight? The more he thought about it, the less Kakashi felt guilty for loving every minute of the glorious scene before him, especially when Naruto-Sakura leaned into the real one and pressed her…his…their bodies together. In a single moment, every perverted thought that Kakashi had ever had in his life was put to shame by the erotic moment of having two, count them _two,_ Sakura's playing in the water together. Then Naruto-Sakura leaned in and licked the lower lip of the real Sakura, marking the beginning of a good two minute make out session between the two mirror images.

Kakashi didn't know whether he should berate his students or applaud them, especially Naruto. The copy-nin was considering making a plaque for the young man to thank him for his ingenious tenacity to win Sakura over, though somehow Kakashi wondered how Sakura making out with herself was any kind of turn-on to the young woman. Matter of fact, it probably wasn't. Kakashi sure wouldn't be aroused at the thought of kissing himself.

The first red flag raised itself in Kakashi's mind.

Sakura, the real one (or at least the one Kakashi thought was the real one) sighed into the mouth of Naruto-Sakura and reached around and laced her fingers into the small strings of the fake-Sakura's underwear and tugged the ties apart, letting one side of the panties go slack.

"Naughty girl!" Naruto-Sakura exclaimed with a wide smirk as she plunged back into the kiss, thrusting her tongue into Sakura's mouth. The other girl moaned and Kakashi nearly fell over dead, because it was his wet-dream come true.

The second red flag raised itself in Kakashi's mind.

The real Sakura got even more ambitious as she twiddled with the remaining tie of the undone underwear with one hand, while the other roamed up and gave the other Sakura's (the Naruto-Sakura's) breast a playful squeeze, making her moan and squirm.

The final red flag raised itself in Kakashi's mind, just as the two women pulled apart. The one thing Naruto was never good at doing was maintaining his shadow clones while he was distracted, and the Naruto-Sakura was _definitely_ distracted by the real one. In a puff of smoke one of the Sakura's disappeared and with a coy smile the second one also puffed away.

Two clones? Two bunshin henged as Sakura? That means _neither_ of them were the real Sakura. Kakashi could feel himself getting furious, because his students, namely Naruto, had tricked him. None of the three idiots were anywhere to be seen, though a few moments before they had been looking rather angrily at him from a outcropping of rocks while he was talking with Sakura. When he found them, and Sakura, he would kill each and every one of those smug little bastards. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai were not going to win, because there wasn't a chance in hell that he would let them.

_**(ten minutes earlier)**_

Naruto thrashed back down into the water, growling at Kakashi as he continued to fawn all over Sakura. "We have to think of something, and we have to think of it soon. I really don't wanna watch Sakura and Kakashi-sensei going at it."

Normally Sasuke did anything and everything to disagree with his teammate and friend, but the fact that Kakashi was so clearly prevailing in their pretend contest to win Sakura was obvious. "Plan, we need one, now," the usually quiet young man demanded.

Sai watched his teammates and rolled his eyes before responding, "How are we going to compete with him, she ignores us whenever he's around."

Both Naruto and Sasuke groaned at that, but the blond nimrod starting grinning evilly, chuckling at whatever devious plot had hatched in his head moments before. "What if Sakura couldn't see Kakashi-sensei? What if she _only_ had us to choose from?" Both Sasuke and Sai looked more than confused at Naruto's questions, so he clarified, "Let's literally steal her away."

Sasuke glared daggers at the idiot before growling, "And you think Kakashi will just let us sweep her away? Tch, you are such a moron."

Naruto hadn't thought about that, and Sakura probably wouldn't be to keen on the thought of being stolen either. Naruto might have been an idiot when it came to women and relationships (and basic common knowledge), but he was rather adept at strategic planning. "Heh-heh, what if she never left? I could send out a bunshin as Sakura to replace her and Sasuke-teme can use his sharingan to put her into a trance long enough for us to kidnap her away."

Sai thought for a moment, because it wasn't a bad plan, just one that wouldn't work, "No, Kakashi is smart, he'd notice right away that Sakura was a clone."

Naruto grinned again, and this time he waggled his eyebrows at his friends and his grin grew into a downright evil toothy smirk, "Not if I distracted him with my clone-Sakura."

"What do you mean by that?" Sasuke hissed, because the idiot wasn't making much sense at the moment.

"Kakashi-sensei is a grade-A pervert, so if I gave him two Sakuras instead of just one, he'd be too unfocused to know the difference." Naruto looked rather pleased with himself, but both Sasuke and Sai shook their heads. It was a good start to a plan, but even two Sakuras wouldn't be enough to fool the infamous perverted copy-nin.

Sai and Sasuke gave each other a look and both smirked at the same time. There was one thing that those two Sakura's could do which would impede Kakashi's normal brain function, giving the three of them time enough to escape with Sakura in tow, but would Naruto be willing to do it. A knowing nod was shared between the two dark-haired men as they turned their attention back to Naruto.

"We need something that will distract Kakashi completely," Sai told the blond.

"Yes, _completely_ distract him," Sasuke echoed.

Both Sasuke and Sai knew if they made the suggestion running through their minds Naruto would most likely balk at the idea and refuse, but if they made it _his_ idea, then he might be more apt to actually do it.

"But what would completely distract Kakashi-sensei from Sakura? I don't get it, guys." Naruto pouted in the water after his little whining session and tried thinking. After a few seconds a light bulb seemed to turn on in Naruto's head, and Sasuke and Sai shared slight nods as the blond looked to have an idea, a very, very perverted idea.

"I know what would make me lose my composure," Naruto cackled. "If I saw Sakura making out with _SAKURA_! Do you think that would work? Do you?"

"Do you think you can handle it?" Sasuke asked slyly, wanting to make sure Naruto was completely enamored with his own odd idea.

"Sure, I guess I'll just have to take one for the team," he laughed. Naruto nearly jumped up and down at his plan (well, thanks to Sasuke and Sai). The other two men nodded in unison and the three of them began to put their plan into action.

_**(back to the near-present)**_

In a different part of the river about a mile away from Kakashi, the three younger male members of team seven were sitting in a similar outcropping of rocks to the one they had been at moments before with an unconscious Sakura.

"I've hidden us fairly well, so it will take Kakashi a few minutes to find us if your bunshin falter," Sai told his teammate.

"My bunshin are tough, it would take a lot more than stupid Kakashi to break them," Naruto exclaimed loudly, which only garnered skeptical looks from both Sasuke and Sai. "Shut up, bastards," Naruto responded, not missing how little faith his two friends had in him.

Sasuke's eyes were still spinning in a lazy circle, keeping Sakura in a time-loop so that she wouldn't think anything was amiss. When they decided to release the genjutsu Sasuke would make the appropriate leeway to the situation they were in now, sitting in the water together without Kakashi. "We should agree to terms," Sasuke said as he watched the peacefully sleeping Sakura.

"Terms? I thought we were going to use teamwork," Naruto growled at Sasuke.

Sasuke was currently too busy to glare at the dumbass, but he responded with "Do you really think Sakura is into gang-bangs? I don't, tch, at least I hope not. Underwear better be her only fetish, but what I'm saying is that I think there should be a limitation to how we win."

"Afraid you'll lose without restricting us?" came the unamused voice of Sai as he watched the lovely young woman leaning against some rocks, her chest rising and falling slightly as she breathed peacefully, off living in some sharingan-induced dream world.

Sasuke was a very egotistical jerk at times and responded coolly, "No, I just thought I'd be nice and give you both a fair shot." That little statement made Sai and Naruto fume, but the real reason behind his suggestion leaked out as he quietly added, "That and I think it would be best to respect her, so no touching and play nice."

Naruto smiled at Sasuke, his friend was never one to come across as the good guy, but he usually got there one way or another. Naruto nodded, "I agree, no touching, be nice to _my _Sakura."

Sai and Sasuke both yelled at the idiot for that statement, and Naruto even began to argue back, standing in the water and throwing insults at both his teammates fervently. The three were stuck in quite the fight when Naruto suddenly got the blankest of blank stares, and then a lewd smirk crossed his lips. Sasuke and Sai were confused to the cause of Naruto's unexpected silence (a rather odd occurrence for the blond to be party to), but they had a fairly good idea as something became quite evident in Naruto's underwear.

"Oh for Kami's sake," Sasuke hissed, "Please do not tell me your bunshins failed, we haven't even woken Sakura yet."

Naruto's glazed over eyes were focused somewhere off in the distance as he muttered, "That was soooo hot, I just made out with Sakura, twice."

Sasuke couldn't believe what he had heard, Naruto just made out with a fake Sakura _as_ Sakura…that was a new level of weird, even for the dobe. "You are such a moron, Naruto."

Naruto seemed unfazed by the mean-spirited comment, but when Sai added, "Do you realize that you just got a hard-on from making out with yourself, idiot?" Naruto's eyes turned from lust into horror. That was a rather disturbing thought, because realizing your boner was caused by one of your shadow clones making out with another of your shadow clones was rather creepy.

"Thanks, you ruined my fantasy world, bastards."

Though Sasuke was chuckling lightly at the blond moron, Sai was aware of how little time they had left at this point, "Kakashi will be onto us soon, so we have to act fast, wake her up."

Sasuke nodded, and as his sharingan spun he said, "She'll wake up thinking Kakashi was called off on a mission and that we have just been talking, but she managed to doze off," he informed the other two, "And Naruto, sit down before she wakes up to an eyeful of your crotch, that would definitely not help us at the moment."

The acidic look Naruto gave Sasuke could have eaten holes through solid steel, but he chose to respond to it with, "Hmph, I bet it would help our chances if Sakura could see what a stud she might win."

Sai shook his head, Naruto hurt his brain far too often with his stupidity, but the newest member of team seven added to that, "You're right, we wouldn't want to scare the poor girl off. I hear virgins prefer their first partners to be small, so you would be a good candidate. I think Sasuke or I would probably frighten her if we were in your condition, but she might take comfort in how reasonably little you are."

Sakura woke to find Sasuke rubbing his temples with his forefingers as Naruto and Sai were battling it out in the water, fighting mighty fiercely with taijutsu in their underwear. She looked at Sasuke, and then at Sai and Naruto, then back to Sasuke, then back to Sai and Naruto…this was not what was happening three seconds ago, because the four of them had been happily discussing fond memories, not… Sakura nearly fainted, why was Sai battling Naruto, who was currently sporting a massive hard-on? Not to mention where was Ino? The blonde woman was no longer in her head controlling every move, so none of this made any sense to Sakura.

"Sasuke? What…what's going on?" she stuttered before closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"Nothing, apparently absolute nothing," Sasuke managed to force out through his gritted teeth.

That response was timed rather well with arrival of a very pissed off Kakashi, who was completely dressed. With a couple of well timed kicks he managed to knock both of the fighting knuckleheads across the river to the opposite riverbank, and both Naruto and Sai flailed awkwardly as they flew through the air from the force of the kick. "Get back to training, _ALL_ of you," Kakashi growled. "No more swimming, none, never again, _ever._ Do you four understand me? Don't ever ask again, because it will never happen again."

The three other men groaned, and Sakura was still confused beyond belief, trying to figure out where Ino was, and why Kakashi was back from his mission, but did he go on a mission? Why did her head hurt? Why did Naruto have a massive erection, and why was he fighting Sai? Sakura wanted to cry, because what had started as a very promising day with four underwear clad men, was ending with _more_ training. Obviously she was repaying a debt from a former life with today's horridly odd humiliation, and the worst thing was all she could think about now was how sexy Kakashi had looked in those boxers.

Walking to the riverbank Kakashi held out Sakura's clothing, still glaring daggers at the other three men as they wandered off in their underwear, "Where are they going, Kakashi?" she asked, trying to figure out what had happened to their clothing which had been only a few yards from her own, but as she looked around more Sakura realized that this was a different part of the training grounds entirely. "What did they try?" she asked dryly, nearing the amount of anger currently contained by her sensei.

"You don't want to know, Sakura," he huffed as he started helping Sakura dress. Sakura's own fury was forgotten as Kakashi tugged the mesh down over her head. For a moment she had forgotten she was nearly naked, and now Kakashi, her ungodly handsome teacher, was helping Sakura put her clothing back on.

"I can do that," she whispered, tugging the mesh away from him as she blushed the deepest shade of crimson known to man. Kakashi nodded, and Sakura noted that he too was a bit redder than normal around the edges of his mask, but that might have been from his angry outburst at Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai.

"Sakura…" Kakashi's voice trailed off as he focused his gaze on the ground in front of him. It was a bit amusing for Sakura to see the slight shyness in Kakashi's attitude toward her. This was the kind of thing she only witnessed when the rest of team seven was absent, and she smiled as he continued. "Would you like to come over tonight?"

Sakura's eyes bulged, Kakashi had been being very sweet, but he just propositioned her. She managed to mutter an, "Eh?" in a rather shrill, astonished voice.

Kakashi realized his error and waved his hands while muttering, "No, no, no, I mean for dinner, come over for dinner. I'll cook. Cook, just cook. Not that I'd be opposed to more, but I'm not expecting more…" Kakashi rambled on till he realized that he wasn't helping his cause as Sakura's face was still in shock. "Sakura, would you please join me for dinner tonight? Just dinner," he asked.

"Just dinner?" she repeated, but could swear she heard Ino cackling and adding '_only if you are cooking and eating in only those sexy silk boxers of yours_,' but realized that in actuality she was currently alone in her own head, and those were her own thoughts on the matter.

"Just dinner," Kakashi confirmed.

"Okay," she agreed numbly, continuing to dress as her sensei grinned madly at the thought of their future date.

* * *

_**END OF CHAPTER**_

* * *

**_A/N's:_** _I hope you found this funny. I must give 90 percent of the credit to my little sister, she helped me with the plot. If it hadn't been for her this story might not have updated for another month. Also big thank you to Mako, because she helped me break out of my writers block. I'm back, baby (at least I hope so ). There are more hilarious chapters coming._

Quotations from upcoming chapters, can you guess who says them?

1. "Gai-sensei said it would be a most excellent façade."

2. "Geez, I guess I'll have to take another one for the team."

3. "Of course, I train _every_ muscle in my body."

4. "I cannot believe the five of you caused a diplomatic incident! You might have seriously weakened out alliance with Sand with your stupid little club."

5. "Nah, it's true, Kakashi is darn good, but Gai has always had a edge on him in that area of expertise, he's far more perverted than the copy-nin." (I swear that the details of this WILL NOT be written about)

6. "I think we need a mascot."

7. "He goes commando? I did not need to know that about my own brother!"


	9. Chapter 9

_**Underwear**_

_**by thatreevesgirl/Lemon Drops (both me)**_

**_Chapter 9: Visiting Dignitaries_**

* * *

**_A/N's:_** answers from the quotation list in the last chapter are found in the end A/N's

* * *

_**(shortly after Naruto's bunshins disappeared in the water)**_

"I hereby bring this first meeting of the underwear club to an official close," Ino said as soon as she awoke, rushing to pick up her belongings and hightail it out of the training grounds with Hinata in tow.

Hinata blushed deeply, still in shock from witnessing what she could only assume was Naruto playing a prank on Kakashi as two Sakuras had been making out with each other only moments before. Hinata had to admit that for a minute she'd thought Ino had everything to do with the naughty little display between the two women, but neither Ino nor Sakura were able to make solid shadow clones, and in this case there were two bunshin which puffed away.

"Come on, hurry it up Hyuuga," Ino hissed as she tugged the quiet woman up from her spot, "We have to get out of here before Ka…"

Ino was cut off the man now standing in front of her, still in his boxers. Hinata's eyes were heavily focused (unknowingly to the young woman, less she would have died from embarrassment) on the copy-nin's delectable choice in undergarments.

"Ino, you better have a good explanation for what just happened," Kakashi growled low at the young woman, "And Hinata, I'm rather disappointed that you got involved in this little fiasco."

Hinata gulped and turned away, finally realizing that she'd spent the last thirty seconds staring at Kakashi's crotch. "I'm so sorry, Kakashi-sensei," she mumbled as she tugged on the hem of her shirt, nearing tears for getting caught doing something so embarrassing as to spy on team seven while they were swimming.

Ino tried to apologize too, and sneak off, but Kakashi grabbed her arm and hissed, "Yamanaka, what is going on, what just happened?"

Ino knew she wasn't going to be able to get out of this one, so she tried the best thing she could think of…honesty. "I was just helping Sakura, I was inside her just a moment ago making sure that she kept her side of your agreement the two of you made, but then that blond idiot tackled us and I was thrown out."

Kakashi eyed her skeptically, and asked, "So you had nothing to do with the little Sakura lesbian show a minute ago?"

Ino hadn't even known about the whole Sakura-henged-bunshin debaucle, so Ino's face widened into a look of completely shock, making Kakashi realize after a moment or two that Ino and Hinata really didn't have anything to do with Naruto's stupid scheme. Leaning in toward the younger women, Kakashi squinted menacingly at the them and gave them this warning, "I never, _never_ want to catch you spying on my team again, is that understood Yamanaka and Hyuuga?"

"Understood," both Ino and Hinata chimed back as they scampered around the copy-nin and straight out of the training grounds, not even looking back to see the much amused face of Kakashi who they left in their wake.

Stopping outside the gates of the training area Ino tugged on Hinata's arm, "I'm sorry for today, Hinata, but I hope that you don't decide to quit the club."

Hinata, not a person prone to anger, stomped her foot and wrinkled her nose at Ino, "I have never been so humiliated in my entire life, why in the world would I subject myself to more of this silly nonsense?"

Ino was taken aback by the outburst, Hinata's eyes seeming to turn a deeper shade of violet as the anger radiated off of the other young woman. "I'm sorry, Hinata, it wasn't supposed to end like that, and I really need you to stay in the club. If I promise to never put you in a situation like that again, will you stay?"

Hinata didn't seem convinced as she folded her arms and stomped a few meters away. Ino rolled her eyes, it was the first time Hinata had ever displayed the proud nature of the Hyuuga clan in front of her. She had seen Neji throw a similarly childish tantrum once around Ten-Ten, but Hinata always seemed so different. Ino supposed that no matter how nice you are, you can't fight your genes, and she walked over to the dark haired girl and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Really, Hinata, I'm very sorry, I truly didn't mean to embarrass you," Ino apologized again.

As much as Hinata was a Hyuuga, she was also Hinata, a kind and forgiving soul who could not refuse any heartfelt apology, especially one like Ino's. "Apology accepted," she whispered and dropped her arms back down to her sides, "But I'm not sure I want any more to do with this silly club."

"That's understandable," Ino commented, but came up with a suggestion to help sway her friend back onto the underwear club's membership roster. "What if we get more members? I mean there are a few more kunoichi in this town, surely a few of them have an appreciation for men's undergarments."

"Like who?" Hinata asked quietly.

Ino thought about it for a moment, there were some genin who would be good candidates, Moegi (the self-proclaimed sexiest genin) in particular. Moegi had just turned sixteen, so those teenage hormones would help sway her into joining. TenTen was another good person to ask, and if they were desperate (because Ino currently loathed the Sand kunoichi) Temari was also a well-known pervert according to the stories Shikamaru told about her. Older women too, like Anko, Shizune, maybe even the Hokage herself. For now Ino only mentioned two people, "Let's go visit TenTen and Moegi, I know the two of them will join for sure."

Naruto finally reached his apartment after a grueling afternoon of training. Kakashi had never gone that hard on him before (not even when they were training to fight Sasuke back in his teen-years), so he was exhausted beyond belief. Putting the key into the keyhole Naruto noticed that it was already unlocked, so he pulled a kunai from his weapon's pouch and opened the door, ready for whatever intruder was inside. Perhaps if he hadn't been so worn from the extensive training he wouldn't have tripped over the gourd sitting in the entranceway as he tried to slink inside, then falling completely when he stepped on a pair of sandals placed on his welcome mat.

"Naaah," he yelled as he fell to the ground, twisted in some irrevocably painful position on the floor.

"Eh, Naruto, you're rather clumsy," said the low, cool voice from a nearby chair.

Naruto looked up to see a friend who hadn't visited him in quite awhile, because people were certainly busy once they reached the title of "kage" in the ninja world. "Gaara!" he exclaimed happily, trying to move his broken body out of the pile of pain he was in. "Gaara, Gaara, Gaara!" he shouted again at the redhead who was currently more interested in a treaty scroll than the silly blond man on the floor, "I'm so happy to see you!"

Gaara looked up and smirked ever so slightly, rolling up the scroll and putting it back in a bag as he responded, "I'm happy to see you too, _moron_." Their friendship had changed a lot over the years, and now the Kazekage was very open around Naruto, and teased him a lot too. What good was Naruto if not for entertainment? Naruto was so smart in so many ways, but so incredibly dim in others, so he was always getting teased by his teammates for being a moron (which was why Gaara had stressed it playfully). "I'm in Konoha for a few weeks for a diplomatic conference, can I stay here?" the kage asked.

This confused Naruto and he verbalized that perplexity with an, "Eh?" before adding, "But you're the Kazekage, you can stay in the _deluxe_ guest suites in the Hokage tower. All I have is a dusty, extra futon for you to borrow."

"That sounds fine," Gaara replied in that soft, sultry voice of his, the one which drawled every word out in some uninterpretable mystery, never giving away his true mood by adding the normal inflections and tones used to decipher what a person was feeling. "There are a lot of dignitaries arriving, so I'd rather share a room with you than with Temari and Kankuro. We were only allotted one room in the tower for the three of us."

"Nnnn, that is bad, Kankurou sounds like a bear when he sleeps," Naruto said with a grin and then imitated how he thought Kankurou sounded, snorting and fake-snoring till Gaara glared at him and he stopped. "I'd want to stay with me too." Naruto's grin widened as he realized something else, "Gaara, let's go eat ramen tonight and drink some sake to celebrate you being here!"

Gaara didn't really like ramen, and he always got teased by Kankurou when he drank (Gaara wasn't one who held his liquor well), but the redhead nodded, because he could never say no to those big, blue pleading eyes of his friend. "Fine, I suppose I can drink my problems away."

"Ne, Gaara, what problems does a guy like you have?" Naruto asked as he threw Gaara's sandals at him. Naruto might have smelled a bit from his training, but he was too hungry and happy to care at the moment, he was ready to go eat and drink with his friend right away.

Gaara started putting on his shoes and glowered at the floor. "The Suna elder's council has started talking about forcing an arranged marriage on me. They have a list of suitable candidates who I'm supposed to start meeting."

Naruto knew he would have to get as many details out of Gaara now, because as chatty as his friend was in the privacy of Naruto's apartment, the kage always became nearly silent in public, because heaven forbid he let down the stupid mask he wore for the general public. Gaara was a normal enough guy these days, and downright friendly if you got him alone and he trusted you, but in public it was like the old Gaara had returned from the dead, Shukaku and all. "An arranged marriage? That sounds horrible, Gaara. Are they giving you any choice in it at all?"

Gaara snorted and laced up the remaining strings on his sandals, "They say if I find someone in the next few months they might put her up for consideration, but the person I choose has to be of adequate status and power for the council to even look at her twice."

Naruto observed how saddened Gaara was by the whole ordeal and whispered, "Is there anyone you are considering on your own?"

Gaara shook his head, "No, but I'm supposed to meet with two people while I'm here. One is part of a prestigious clan, and the other is only if they agree since they have no particular clan, but are rather powerful and the ideal woman for me according to Baki."

Naruto laughed, "The perfect woman for you? I wonder who that might be, because we do have some mighty tough kunoichi's here in Konoha."

Gaara shook his head and stood, "She's better than the rest of the women they put on that damned list, but she isn't even required to consider me since she has no obligations to a clan."

Naruto bounced in his place and waggled his eyes at Gaara, "It sounds like you might actually like her, so who is it? Tell me, tell me now!" he demanded.

"The Hyuuga clan is assembling later this week so I can meet their leader's youngest daughter Hanabi since their eldest daughter Hinata is slated to take over the clan here in Konoha. The other girl…" Gaara dreaded saying her name, because he was sure that Naruto was going to murder him for it, even if it wasn't by any true choice of his own, "…is your teammate Haruno Sakura."

Gaara hadn't really believed that Naruto would try to kill him, but three seconds later, when Naruto tackled Gaara to the floor, he actually thought Naruto might try to hurt him. Instead Naruto glared at his friend and started whining about how it wasn't fair that there was another person vying for Sakura's attention as he poked Gaara in the chest and complained even more about his teammates and then his sensei. The Kazekage could only lay on the floor and take the dose of verbal abuse from Naruto, because there was no stopping his rant about Sai, Sasuke, and Kakashi without actually fighting Naruto off of himself. From what Naruto droned on about Gaara gathered there was some kind of competition between them for Sakura's attention, that and the fact Sakura had an underwear fetish, which quite perturbed the kage as he considered what that meant.

Naruto was still straddling Gaara when the he grumbled, "Get off of me, you smell and I thought we were going to go eat."

"Tch," Naruto replied, channeling Sasuke momentarily from the other side of Konoha, "Yeah, yeah, ramen sounds good, but now I have to drown my problems in sake too. You are such a mood killer," Naruto told his friend.

Gaara smiled freely at Naruto and shook his head, "No, I'm not, we'll have a good time tonight, I promise. Maybe I'll just defy the damned council. I'm not interested in marriage anyway. If you want Sakura so badly, I'll assist you in winning her over."

Naruto's smile was as wide as the desert surrounding Suna as he hugged Gaara (much to the kage's disdain) and excitedly thanked his friend. "I appreciate that Gaara!" Naruto shouted, "You have no idea how grateful I am for your help."

Gaara smirked, "Just let me stay here, away from my brother and sister, and we'll call it even."

* * *

_**END OF CHAPTER**_

* * *

**_A/N's:_** Shorter yes, but I get the feeling you guys like more frequent updates more than longer chapters (it keeps you all coming back for more too). And nobody get ahead of themselves on who is going to be with who XD, I don't even know for sure. The fic will be taking a turn toward the Underwear Club soon, so it will focus more on sexy men in undergarments, oh yeah! (Hee-hee, I also wanna write a cute part about Konohamaru and Moegi, you know they'd be all cute together, have the older girls teach her how to seduce him or something XD).

Answers:

"Gai-sensei said it would be a most excellent façade." **Lee**

"Geez, I guess I'll have to take another one for the team." **Naruto**

"Of course, I train _every_ muscle in my body." **Lee**

"I cannot believe the five of you caused a diplomatic incident! You might have seriously weakened out alliance with Sand with your stupid, little club." **Tsunade**

"Nah, it's true, Kakashi is darn good, but Gai has always had an edge on him in that area of expertise, he's far more perverted than the copy-nin." (I swear that the details of this WILL NOT be written about) **Anko**

"I think we need a mascot." **Ino**

"He goes commando? I did not need to know that about my own brother!" **Temari**


	10. Chapter 10

**_Underwear_**

**_Chapter 10: Plotting and Preperations_**

**_by thatreevesgirl/Lemon Drops (both me)_**

Sakura laid splayed on her bed, still puffing from pure exhaustion. Today's workout…pure hell. She promised herself that death with be dealt swiftly to the evil trio of stupid which had wrecked great amounts of chaos on her lovely swimming date. Oh the possibilities that could have been realized, particularly Kakashi in wet, silk boxers. Silk shrivels when wet, and Ino swore it might have just disintegrated if it was the expensive kind. That didn't sound right to Sakura, but it was still a tantalizing thought.

Sakura could see it all in her mind, watching as Kakashi waded into the water little by little, glancing down as he found himself engulfed a little bit more by the surface of the water, the hem of his boxers just melting away as he went. Kakashi, being the very aware pervert he was, would smile coyly, almost knowingly at her and say, "Oh dear, I completely forgot I can't get these wet, now they're all ruined." Of course, the copy-nin wouldn't be daunted at all by the loss of his undergarments, he would continue wading in the water until he was next to Sakura, completely naked, and maybe if she was lucky a little hard, her teacher ready to "teach" her a new technique or two.

Sakura sighed, shaking the rather naughty thoughts away as she tried to relax on her bed. All she wanted before her date with Kakashi was a little peace and quiet, time to get rested and prepare for whatever pleasant going-ons would happen when she was safely locked away in the apartment of the infamous copy-nin. That was not even a remote possibility with four very boisterous kunoichi raiding her closet, arguing about what was appropriately sexy for a date with Sakura's beloved Kakashi-sensei.

Hinata was holding something flattering, sexy, but still quite appropriate in the mind of the proper, young Hyuuga heiress (which meant it covered nearly all skin that could possibly be exposed), TenTen was ogling a cute Chinese dress, Moegi was quite enamored with a skirt and tight fitting red sweater, and Ino topped them all with the tightest, smallest, black dress Sakura owned. They were arguing at the top of their grating, female voices as Sakura covered her head with a pillow and tried to think of happier thoughts, thoughts of Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai in their underwear.

At this point Sakura's daydreams had run wild, on overdrive since seeing her four teammates in only their undergarments, mostly because those lewd thoughts were the only things which kept her going during the arduous afternoon workout that Kakashi had put her through. She didn't blame him, it was well deserved by all parties, but probably more so for the three battling idiots. They were a trio of combined stupidity not to be underestimated. Sakura grumbled to herself, because despite everything Sai, Sasuke, and Naruto had done, there was a part of her who still desired each and every one of them.

Sakura hadn't said anything to anyone, but seeing Naruto…well, in that one particular condition, had sent her perverted, underwear-fetish consumed mind into a tailspin. There was just something about seeing that damn blond in a pair of wet, orange boxer-briefs while sporting quite the hard-on. It was possibly even more enticing than Kakashi in mesh.

Kakashi and Naruto weren't the only tantalizing ones. Sai might have worn that silly bellyshirt most of the time, but what most kunoichi didn't know was how his chest was just as exquisite as those abs he showed off. His pale, creamy skin, nearly flawless with very few scars, would ripple over his well toned, lithe pectoral muscles. Sakura often wondered why she hadn't jumped Sai years ago. And then there was Sasuke, gods alive she couldn't deny that Sasuke was the first man she'd ever loved (even if it was only a very innocent girl's love), and definitely the first man she ever lusted after (when he came home it took all her willpower not to rip off his clothes and explore just how much he'd grown).

The world was either blessing her or cursing her—she wasn't sure which—when it graced Haruno Sakura's life with who were arguably the four most attractive shinobi in all the great ninja nations. There was no denying it, they were a delicious lot indeed. Damn them. Damn all of them and their undeniable sexiness.

Sakura was torn from her thoughts when the sound of ripping fabric pierced the air.

Sakura looked up to see Ino and TenTen both holding half of her very sexy and naughty black dress. Sakura raised an eyebrow at them as they sheepishly tried to hide the destroyed clothing, but she was too tired to berate them, she only mumbled, "You are replacing that."

Ino substituted her choice with a mini skirt and a halter top, something that managed to show even more skin than the dress had. "Okay," her blonde friend said as the four of them walked from Sakura's closet over to her bed, "Which one is it going to be?"

Sakura glared at all the women, "I can pick my own damn clothes."

Moegi poked the tired Sakura in the kneecap with a sharp, pointy fingernail. "No, no, that will not do! For one night, you must be the sexiest kunoichi in all of Konoha in order to entice your unbelievably hot sensei into a scandalous romance with you, one of his former students!"

All the girls stared at the younger woman, who was now blushing and chuckling lightly. Sakura personally wondered when Konohamaru's pervertedness (who inherited it from a certain blond knucklehead) had rubbed off on the girl. The other question which had been running rampant in Sakura's mind was when Ino had found the time to start an underwear club, and how she had convinced these three poor saps to join? Were all girls as perverted as Ino and herself? Sakura hated to admit it, but she was a pervert, one of the best, or elite as Kakashi had called her.

Sakura finally gave in to the four women huddled around her, shoving random articles of clothing into her face. "Ino, give me that miniskirt. Moegi, give me the sweater. TenTen I could use your help with my hair after I shower, and Hinata, I need a pair of shoes that helps this outfit not scream 'tramp' when Kakashi sees me in it."

The four women smiled brightly at their friend, nodding, and then quickly ushering Sakura into the bathroom to get ready for her date, which was quickly approaching. Hinata ran home to get a pair of sandals she adored; strappy, sexy, but quite appropriate in bringing down the slutty factor between the sweater and the mini, she also was going to grab a nice, light overcoat for her friend to wear, Sakura should be presented as a lady after all.

Ino, of course, stayed in the bathroom as Sakura showered, giving her friend advice on what to do if she and Kakashi found themselves mysteriously without clothes. TenTen, master of styling hair into any updo in addition to being a weapons specialist, prepared to give Sakura a very sexy look. Moegi sat on Sakura's bed and thumbed through Sakura's rather large collection of Icha Icha books. It was a bad habit that Kakashi had gotten Sakura started on.

One hour later Sakura was dressed, primped, and according to Moegi, the sexiest kunoichi since Leaf's great and powerful leader Tsunade. Sakura smiled, it was nice being compared to her mentor, because Tsunade was indeed very sexy (as long as you didn't know about her drinking habit, or the gambling addiction, or the way she could beat the living tar out of any ninja alive). Sakura hoped that she wouldn't inherit the first two bad qualities of the Fifth, but she doubted it since she never gambled and wasn't particularly drawn to alcoholic beverages. She knew her strength made Kakashi and the rest of team seven a little uneasy, but she hid it fairly well when not on missions. Sakura didn't like to shove it in the boys' faces that she could outmuscle each and every one of them if she wanted to.

"Sakura!" Ino's sharp voice interrupted her thoughts. "You need to get going or you are going to be late. Good luck on your date, make us proud!" Leaning in with a rather lewd grin on her face Ino added, "And steal Kakashi's boxers as a memento if you get that far."

Sakura nearly punched the other woman out. Was her friend really that big of an idiot? "I'm not stealing Kakashi's underwear. He's an elite ninja, he'll notice if he's missing his undergarments."

"Do it, it is your duty as one of the underwear club's founding members," Ino said pointedly, staring Sakura down as if she were shanking one of her sacred duties as a member of the outrageous group of underwear loving women in Konoha.

Sakura glared right back at Ino, muttering under her breath, "I don't believe I knew anything about this stupid club till the four of you showed up on my doorstep a little bit ago. I think Hinata is more a founding member than I am."

This, of course, caused Hinata to blush fiercely, poking her fingers together in her nervous habit as she added, "No, no I'm not…I'm not…" the rest of the words never made it out of her mouth as she started stuttering from complete embarrassment. Hinata really hoped that if Ino helped her win over Shino that she wouldn't have to bring a pair of the bug-nin's boxers in to share with the group. That was just…well, it was very perverted to the young Hyuuga heiress.

"You gotta," Moegi interrupted, folding her arms and staring Sakura down. "The first chance I get I'm stealing a pair of Konohamaru's underwear. It should be our rite of passage for kunoichi joining the club."

Ino rolled her eyes at the younger woman, "I think that is going a bit far."

"Bah, you should be the first one jumping on that bandwagon, cause I heard you and Shikamaru have a thing going." Moegi waggled her eyebrows at Ino as she continued, "I bet you already have a pair, don't you pervy-Ino?"

Ino looked like she was about ready to lay into the other woman, which amused Sakura to no end. It appeared Sakura found an ally in Moegi against her friend and rival Ino, and seeing how infuriated Ino was, a damn good ally too. "I'll steal a pair of Kakashi's undergarments when you bring me a pair of Shikamaru's, but that is only _if_ Kakashi and I get that far. Maybe I'm not ready for that."

Ino muttered as she walked away, "As if Kakashi would let that opportunity slip by, and like you would stop him. Face it Sakura, you are one pretty little rose who's getting deflowered tonight. I expect a pair of silk boxers to appear at our next meeting or I'm booting you out of the club."

Sakura wanted to rebut that outrageously stupid comment, but Hinata started herding her toward the door, wishing her luck as she encouraged Sakura to not be late. _Damn you, Ino,_ Sakura thought to herself, _when I return I'm gonna give you a piece of my mind._ Then again, having a pair of Kakashi's sexy underwear wasn't a bad idea, it was just the principle that she would be thrown out of the club by the self-proclaimed pervy-president if she didn't get them. Not fair at all in Sakura's mind, and Ino would know that, but tomorrow, because Hinata was right, she was going to be late.

Somewhere across town there was a rather drunk Naruto smiling into the bottom of a mug of cold beer as his friend the Kazekage sipped on some expensive sake. Naruto by all means looked like he was three sheets to the wind, and Gaara appeared to be completely in control of himself as he drank. Unfortunately for the Kazekage, their positions with being influenced by alcohol were exactly the opposite. Naruto was quite aware of his surroundings and barely buzzed, and Gaara, if he attempted to stand, would probably be tripping and falling over his own feet. Naruto clinked a cup of sake against Gaara's since he was done with his beer, and downed the small amount of strong drink as he grinned fiercely at the redhead.

"Ya know, Gaara, I was thinking…"

Gaara interrupted Naruto by adding a rather snarky, "That's a first," before Naruto glared at him and continued. Gaara was quite good at appearing to be in control of his mouth, sounding quite a bit more sober than he actually was.

Naruto was not blessed with the same ability. "I was thinking tha…maybe I'd swear off women, screw 'em all."

"And become more intimate with your hand?" the Kazekage asked in a drunken whisper.

Naruto just stared at his friend, Gaara had mentioned something about not holding his drink well, but Naruto hadn't been prepared for impetuous attitude of a drunken Gaara. "No, it isn't like I was getting much before, it wouldn't be _that _different, so maybe I'll become, uh..."

"Celibate?"

"Yeah! Celibate." Naruto's version was slower, like he was sounding it out for the first time. "I don't need sex."

"Sex is fun though."

And talking with drunk Gaara was disturbing to Naruto, that was for sure. "What, are you some kind of sex fiend?

"If I were?" Gaara ventured with a dark chuckle. "Besides, from your correspondeses with me I highly doubt you are getting much by the way of women at all."

"Don't push your luck, Gaara. I could get any girl I wanted _if _ I wanted to. I just don't, because I care for Sakura-chan."

Gaara looked skeptically over to his friend, "Really? I think it has very little to do with Haruno, and much more to do with how bad your skills with women are."

"Whatever you say, Ka-ze-ka-ge-sama," the words were long and drawn out, as well as laced with a certain amount drunk sarcasm. "I hope they make you marry someone old and ugly."

Gaara opened his mouth to add a rebuttal, but he was rather stumped to what comeback was appropriate to something so mean-spirited. He didn't want to fight with Naruto, because that would mean the one person who actually understood him would be alienated from Gaara, and the Kazekage didn't want that. "I'm just saying…don't give up sex."

"Yeah, well I'm about to lose the love of my life to my sensei, cause he's gonna screw her tonight, I just know it."

Gaara was more than amused by his friend at this point. Gaara knew Naruto wasn't an idiot, and he was a very nice guy. That sensei of Naruto's, well, he was the kind of person who all the women went for, leaving the nice guys in the dust. "So what if your sensei didn't screw her?"

Naruto's glazed over, cerulean eyes were full of skepticism as he added, "Yeah, I doubt there's going to be anything that stops him from getting into her panties tonight."

"I could."

Naruto laughed hard at that, nearly choking on the new beer the barkeep had given him. Had Gaara really just responded to his statement with a 'me,' because there was definitely something wrong with that if he did. "What are you gonna do, Gaara? Use your great powers as Kazekage to force Kakashi not to have sex with my Sakura?"

"Something like that," the sand leader retorted.

Naruto actually guffawed at that, releasing a chain of snorts and amused chuckles before he realized that Gaara was completely serious. Naruto began mimicking his friend, standing up and announcing, "By decree of the Kazekage, the great copy-nin Hatake Kakashi shall not have sex with Haruno Sakura, so says the great Sabaku no Gaara."

"Shut up. I meant that you and I can prevent the coupling from happening," Gaara muttered. "I think this date of theirs is about to go horribly awry, because you and I have my sand to help the disasters along."

Naruto smirked and nodded, he was beginning to catch onto what Gaara was hinting at. "Oh, that's what you meant. In that case, I think I like your terrible, evil ways. Let the date ruining begin! Sakura will be so disappointed that she'll ask to leave early."

In complete agreement Gaara added, "Yes, Sakura will be begging for your attention after this."

Gaara almost regretted offering his services to ruin Sakura and Kakashi's date as Naruto threw his arms around him and hugged for all he was worth for the second time that night, in public no less. Ruin the date for Naruto, then kill Naruto, those were the two things that topped Gaara's to-do list for the evening. Naruto probably wouldn't be very keen on the second thing, but really, there was only so much embarrassment the blond moron could cause before Gaara gave him a good beating.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Underwear**_

_**Chapter 11: Underneath the Underneath**_

_**By Lemon Drops/thatreevesgirl (both me)**_

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One would think that Kakashi's date with Sakura would require the copy-nin to prepare and prep himself before she came, or at least cook the dinner that he promised. That was why when there was a mere fifteen minutes before she was supposed to arrive and Kakashi was still sitting on his couch reading the latest volume of Icha Icha, it seemed unusual at best.

A small, tubby pug looked up at Kakashi and cleared his voice. "Yo, Kakashi, shouldn't you be, um, cooking?"

Kakashi leisurely flipped the page in his book and kept reading for a moment. This particular story was so good that he could barely put it down. Pakkun nuzzled Kakashi's leg urging him to hurry. Kakashi chuckled at a particularly entertaining sentence and then marked the page by dog-earing it before setting it down.

"Ah, Pakkun, you worry too much," the silver haired man told his nin-dog with a sigh. Women were a complicated lot, but Kakashi was wise beyond his years when it came to females. He knew how to play the game and win the prize. Making a few hand signs food appeared in a poof of smoke, leaving the cute pug coughing and sputtering. Not from the smoke of the jutsu mind you, but because Kakashi summoned some of the most horrible smelling food Pakkun had ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

"How is this going to help you win Sakura's affections?" the dog asked while coughing, burying his sensitive nose into the rug on the floor as he tried to rid his nostrils of the burnt stench that filled the room. On the table in front of Kakashi were two bowls of horrendously dry rice, some curry that look pathetically burned beyond recognition, some overripe fruit that was cut into uneven pieces, and a cake that flopped completely and was hard as a brick. Kakashi flung on an apron and walked into the kitchen.

"Kakashi, it is far too late to salvage this now," Pakkun whined. "Maybe you should take her out to eat."

"Ah, my small friend, _that _is the plan. You see..." Kakashi paused to dip his hand into the flour container, pulling some out and patting it on his facemask and shirt. "…women are a funny kind of creature, Pakkun. They like to think a man tried to give them the best date possible. I guarantee that this will work out perfectly. It's part of my ingenious scheme."

The dog sauntered away. He hated it when his master decided to get smug. Kakashi, as smart and kind as he was, could be an arrogant, pompous kind of guy at times. Women were something in particular that drove him to be like that, but Pakkun knew Sakura was different. Kakashi wasn't just trying to get her into bed like a lot of the others. Kakashi actually cared about her more than the copy-nin would ever like to admit.

"Treat her right!" the pug bellowed back to the man in the dining area, who was trying to make the disaster on the table even worse for the show.

Kakashi stepped back at rolled his eyes. Of course he would treat Sakura right. But when it came down to it, Sakura was still a woman, just like all the rest of them. She wanted to be romanced, she wanted to feel special. There would be a night when Kakashi would treat her to a fabulous meal of his own creation, but not tonight. Little to Sakura's knowledge, Kakashi had made reservations at one of the more expensive restaurants in Konoha. He was sure she would have never agreed to such a date if he had asked, but if they were forced into the situation he was sure Sakura would love it. This way he looked like the good guy who tried hard to make her night special, failed, and then worked even harder to make up for it. He would definitely earn some bonus points for his effort.

Somewhere on the other side of the building someone walked up to the main entrance. She had long, toned legs that seemed to go on forever, hair that was meticulously pinned in a cascade of curls, and a big smile as she opened the door and stepped inside. Sakura was excited, this was going to be the night where she took the initiative with one of her guys. Little did the kunoichi know that on the side of the building was a spying duo ready to ruin her evening with little remorse.

"Did you see that?" Naruto asked. Gaara was trying to keep his third eye jutsu stable despite the fact that he was rather drunk.

"No," Gaara snapped back. "I was trying to concentrate. What did you just see?"

Naruto smirked widely, the image of his sexy Sakura in her miniskirt and tight sweater still parading through his head. "Sakura just walked by, and wow, just wow, Gaara."

Gaara was too preoccupied with spying on Kakashi's apartment to really care about what Sakura was wearing. It didn't matter what she wore, their mission was to ruin the date between Kakashi and Sakura, but Kakashi was doing a fine job of that all on his own. "Did you know that your sensei is a con artist? He just ruined the meal on purpose!"

Naruto looked very confused when Gaara told him that. He didn't understand at all why Kakashi would do such a thing. "Um, okay, well maybe he didn't mean to."

Gaara glared at his friend, "Trust me, he meant to." Gaara was the Kazekage and though he understood many things about the world of ninja arts and even politics, how women ticked still eluded him for the most part. How Kakashi ticked left Gaara completely baffled.

"Um, well, just keep watching, and at the opportune moment we'll strike and BAM!" Naruto clapped his hands together loudly, drawing a glare from the man next to him. Had Gaara not been performing a complicated jutsu, he might have reached over and smacked Naruto across the back of the head. The blond man was definitely not helping things at the moment.

Gaara returned to his spying. It was easier to concentrate on what was happening in Kakashi's apartment than on his irritatingly idiotic friend. His sand eye was floating beside an open window, and so Gaara could see everything that was happening. There was a knock on the door and Kakashi smoothed out the floor covered apron. Then Gaara saw her. The beautiful, curled pink tresses, the slight curves of a well-developed woman, and legs…legs that seemed to go on for days. _No_, he told himself, _this is Naruto's girl, you can't be lusting after your friend's girl._ Technically, Gaara pondered, she wasn't Naruto's, she wasn't anyone's girl, but if he didn't stop the date from going well there was a very distinct possibility that she would date Kakashi.

Naruto began impatiently asking questions about what was going on, and with a warning growl, Gaara shushed his friend and continued to watch.

Sakura took off the overcoat and hung it on the coat rack beside the bookcase.

"…you see," Kakashi was saying, "I really don't know what went wrong, and I spent a lot of time making it. I'm a good cook, really I am."

Sakura looked at Kakashi's slightly pouting eye (the only thing truly visible on his face that was uncovered), then at the table, her stomach pleading with her to not try any of the food. "No, no, Kakashi, it looks…um…wonderful?"

She hadn't meant to pose it as a question, but it came out that way. Sakura didn't want to hurt Kakashi's feelings, especially since he apparently put a lot of work into making this meal. It was obvious since he was almost covered head to toe in flour.

"You…you don't like it, do you?" Kakashi asked, laying on the guilt just like he had planned. Sure, it was a little childish, and really Sakura should have picked up on his little scheme, but she just shook her head at him.

"No, no, that's not what I meant. I mean it just looks…it looks like you put in a big effort, and I don't want that to go to waste."

Kakashi brought a finger up to his mask and tugged it down. Sakura watched him befuddled, unable to do anything other than be mesmerized by the ruggedly handsome features of her teacher. Kakashi smiled warmly at her, and it was a true smile because he knew that she was saying these things out of real concern for his feelings. It almost made him feel bad for the little ploy he was playing. Almost.

"It's okay, Sakura. I don't really want to eat this disaster either. Maybe you'll give me a chance to cook for you again sometime, but for tonight let's go get something from that little bistro down the street."

Sakura's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. It was impossible to eat there unless you were rich or powerful or the son of some pompous elder. "But Kakashi, how…"

Kakashi quickly cut Sakura off, smiling again. "Don't worry," he told her, "Someone there owes me a favor or two." Kakashi shrugged off the apron and with a poof used a jutsu to change into more appropriate clothing for their meal at the popular bistro. Sakura smiled because Kakashi was maskless. It was rare to ever see him in public without it, but tonight seemed to be a special occasion.

"Aren't you worried that someone might see you like that?" she asked him quietly, trying to take in how handsome he looked in the dark slacks and fitted shirt he was wearing. Kakashi shook his head, and though it was the middle of summer, he pulled a scarf from the coat rack by the bookshelf and wrapped it around his face.

"Tonight my smile is only for you, Sakura," Kakashi told her with a wink. It was cheesy, but he knew it would work. And it did, like a charm. Sakura giggled and blushed as Kakashi handed her the coat she had just hung up. Offering his arm to Sakura, they both left the mess of a meal in Kakashi's apartment.

"That sneaky bastard, that sneaky, smart bastard!" Naruto hissed under his breath. "I can't believe how he's playing her like a fiddle. I wouldn't be surprised if he just wanted to '_fiddle'_ her and be done with it."

Gaara would have rebutted that opinion, but he shared it too. From what Naruto had told him, Kakashi seemed to like the ladies, but not in the context of a relationship. Gaara hushed his friend, because he knew the two ninja they were spying on would be walking out of the building any minute now. If Gaara didn't mask their chakra signatures, there was a good chance that they would be discovered and it wouldn't look good for either of them.

Sakura appeared, and seeing her in person was even better than through his sand-eye. Gaara stared intently at the beautiful person walking away with Kakashi, then silently let out a frustrated sigh. Sakura was very beautiful, and Gaara couldn't help himself. He wanted to assist Naruto in winning over the person he'd loved for years, but at the same time, Gaara couldn't deny that he found himself attracted to Sakura. Why wouldn't he? She was a beautiful woman who was also intelligent and funny. She obviously had the patience of a saint to put up with her four male teammates, so she was definitely the kind of person who was resilient enough to handle being the wife of a kage. Sakura seemed like a glimmer of hope to Gaara, and he was a person who had experienced very little of that particular phenomenon in his lifetime.

"Gaara," Naruto whined, "They're gone, we have to trail them."

Gaara agreed completely, they did have to follow Sakura and Kakashi. There was no way that he was going to allow her to fall for Kakashi's tricks. Gaara had grown quite fond of his new role of leader and hero to the people of Suna, and here was someone who was possibly in distress, a girl about to be swindled out of her innocence. The Kazekage swore that he wouldn't allow Sakura to get hurt. He wasn't sure if it was for her sake, Naruto's sake, or perhaps even his own sake; but for whoever it was intended to help, he had to ruin this date and make Sakura realize that Kakashi wasn't the one for her.

Naruto was already making his way toward the restaurant in question with Gaara on his heels. Both of them were still a bit intoxicated, otherwise they might have noticed the ominous chakra lurking around and following them.

"I told you they were up to something," Sai told the other dark-haired member of team seven. Sasuke couldn't help but glower at Naruto and Gaara. The idiot had made an alliance. Well, Sasuke could do that too, that was why he and Sai were out to sabotage to sabotagers. None of them were good enough for Sakura in Sasuke's eyes, therefore he would bring down the competition any way he could. If that meant partnering up and making an alliance with the seemingly socially retarded member of team seven, then so be it. This was war, and Sasuke wasn't the type of person to lose any battle.

"So what is the plan, Sasuke-kun? We should have a plan."

"Does it really take all the much planning to do away with a drunken Naruto?"

Sai shrugged as they hopped from one building's rooftop to the next. "No, not Naruto, but the Kazekage, he's clever. Even inebriated I think he could pose a problem."

"I suppose so, but we really shouldn't underestimate Naruto. I doubt it will be as easy to incapacitate him as you think it will be."

Sai leapt one more time until both he and Sasuke were atop the restaurant's rooftop. They had to think of something fast, because from what the two of them had overheard, Gaara was planning to strike quickly with his sand. Sasuke cocked his head to the side as a thought crossed his mind. "Maybe we should let them go through with their plan, and even help ensure that they don't get caught."

Sai huffed and crossed his arms as he glared at Sasuke. "That sounds moronic," he told Sasuke, "How is aiding _them_ helping _us_?"

"The enemy of my enemy is my ally, but in all reality, we just need to prevent them from being there to pick up the broken pieces of Sakura's heart."

"One bad date with Kakashi would do that?" Sai asked curiously. To him, he couldn't image how one date would ever result in a girl's broken heart, but then again, he really didn't understand females well at all.

"Trust me, Sakura is a bit sensitive when he comes to love," Sasuke told Sai. Though it had been many years since Sakura had confessed to him, Sasuke had seen the love she was willing to give so freely. Things may have changed over the years concerning who she loved, but _how_ she loved…Sasuke was sure that rarely changed with women. Sakura's heart was open and kind, and whomever was able to give her a reason to give that love to them would most likely receive it. This was Sasuke's opinion at least.

Sasuke wasn't quite the expert on women like Kakashi was, but his quiet, brooding nature came in handy in one particular way. When you say less, you observe more. Sasuke had watched Sakura intently in the years after he returned, and though the haughty Uchiha heir with the stick up his ass didn't realize it, he returned Sakura's feelings. He cared for her deeply as her friend and much more, that was why his competitive nature refused to allow his other teammates to win Sakura's affections. That included Sai, but Sasuke would keep him close as long as he could in order to keep tabs on the former ANBU operative.

Gaara watched with his third eye jutsu as Kakashi told a humorous story, one that caused her to giggle and smile warmly at the copy-nin. Naruto had given up on getting Gaara's play-by-play recount of what was happening with Sakura, so he was busy spying on the two of them with a henged shadow clone within the restaurant. Naruto had managed to steal a waiter and assume his identity. Sure, it could get the Hokage-wannabe in a ton of trouble, but at the same time, all the waiter would suffer from was a sore noggin where Naruto knocked him unconscious.

"You'd make a good ANBU," Gaara told his friend sarcastically. Every few minutes Naruto would have the clone come out to where they were, pop the clone, and assimilate the information that he'd gathered. Then Naruto would send in a new replacement and start the whole process over again. Gaara had always wondered if Naruto was capable of carrying out more difficult missions where morals might be compromised. Not necessarily kill willingly, Gaara doubted that Naruto would ever kill without a very good reason to, but knocking someone unconscious for recon was definitely a bit dubious. If tonight was any indicator, Gaara was sure that Naruto had no qualms whatsoever with performing A-ranked and S-ranked missions.

Naruto popped another clone. "Argh, he's feeding her, and he kissed her on her forehead."

"He's good," Gaara muttered, focusing his energy on forming a realistic replica of a rat out of his sand.

Naruto watched as the sand-rat twitched its little whiskers with all the same mannerisms as a real rodent. "Wow, that is really cool. I didn't know you could do that with your sand."

"These are quite useful for infiltrating enemy strongholds. I can mask the chakra, but I can also wreak havoc, gain access to various parts of locked areas, or even just ruin a perfect evening between two people."

Naruto eyed his friend warily. "Remind me to never get on your bad side. I don't want to know what would happen to me if I did."

Gaara chuckled evilly, but only for a second. He quickly caught himself and ended it by telling Naruto, "No, you definitely wouldn't want to."

"You are one creepy, short, eyebrowless maniac, you know that?"

Gaara actually looked hurt at the words. He wasn't sure how much of it was the alcohol talking, and how much was Naruto. "Was that really necessary?" the Kazekage asked with a warning tone.

"No, but I had to get even for some of the crap you said about me earlier. Is your sand-rat ready to go?"

Gaara nodded once, "Any time you want me to deploy it, I will." A sadistic smile crept onto the kage's lips, and Naruto motioned for Gaara to release it. The two men readied themselves for the chaos they were about to create in a high class restaurant. However, they were still oblivious to the fact there were two other ninja observing them carefully from the rooftop. Sasuke shook his head at Naruto and Gaara as a tiny ran scurried into the Bistro.

"You know, I like letting dickless do all the work. It means I can just lay back and reap the rewards," Sai said assuredly. "And the sand-freak, he's a real number. I'm glad that we are incognito, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke glowered at Sai. He hated being called Sasuke-kun, and hated it even more since he knew that behind his back Sai referred to him as "the bastard" or "asshole" or "stick-up-the-ass" if Sai wanted to mix things up for the day. But Sai was right, it was so easy allowing Gaara and Naruto to do all the work while Sasuke and Sai...no, correction, how _he_, Sasuke, would reap all the rewards.

It was really too bad for all three of Kakashi's students, Naruto and Sasuke in particular, had forgotten one of the most critical lessons that the copy-nin had taught them. _A ninja must learn to see underneath the underneath._ So it shouldn't have been a surprise to any of the four men, except perhaps Gaara, who had never learned from the Kakashi-school of thought, that Kakashi had already planned for the possibility of an insurrection like this one from his teammates. Up in a tall tree, melded into the branches and wood was an unexpected ally and friend of Kakashi's who Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai hadn't seen for years. And unfortunately for those three, Tenzou was a formidable adversary.

"Sorry boys," Tenzou said with a smile. "Your fun is over for the night."

* * *

_To be continued in Chapter 12. Next Update: December 17th_


	12. Chapter 12

**_Underwear_**

**_Chapter 12: And It All Falls Down_**

**_by thatreevesgirl/Lemon Drops (both me)_**

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Somehow Kakashi's wonderful evening had digressed into _this_. If he were asked how, Kakashi wouldn't have been able to answer that question. This was quickly becoming the most disastrous evening of his life, thanks in no small part to his idiot, younger teammates, that Kakashi was sure of. Sakura was sitting in her chair across from Kakashi glaring venom at him. It was kind of obvious why. First, there was a plate of very expensive pasta was dripping from her beautiful up-do. Also, her sweater was ruined, seeing as a rogue kunai had sliced it from shoulder to below her breasts, leaving her bra very obviously peeking through the slit the kunai cut. And one of her shoes was sitting on Kakashi's lap. Tenzou was groaning as the ANBU operative laid across their table, still trying to rid himself of all the sand that had weaseled its way into his flak jacket.

"I'm sorry, sempai, the Kazekage is tougher than he looks," Tenzou moaned as he tried to stand up. He managed to only roll off the table ungracefully and almost fall right onto Sakura. Kakashi could only wonder what he'd done to anger the powers that be.

"You know, I think I'm going to call it a night," Sakura told her date. "I've had just about enough of this childish game." Standing slowly, Sakura didn't even flinch as yet another sand-rat scurried down her leg.

Yes, Sakura _had_ been enjoying one of the most pleasant evenings of her life, but now she was covered with food, humiliated beyond words, and there were still fake rodents squeaking at her heals. She would never be able to show her face in this beautiful, expensive restaurant again, perhaps not even in public. Maybe Sakura wouldn't have been quite as bitter if she didn't know how intrinsically involved Kakashi was in the fiasco which had just befallen them. Tenzou was obviously Kakashi's undercover man, and despite the fact he got thrown through a window by a giant sand-hand, both he and Kakashi were definitely at fault too.

Through the broken window she could see Gaara readying another jutsu, and whatever the Kazekage had to do with Kakashi's stupid competition with her teammates didn't seem to matter too much. Where there was Gaara, there was Naruto, and that was confirmed by the loud, grating, "Dammit, you bastard!" being yelled by the blond at who she suspected to be Sai or Sasuke. This was their fault, _all_ of their faults. Sakura blamed Gaara from the piss-poor aimed kunai which ripped her shirt to shreds, but for the most part he couldn't help what Naruto probably tricked him into.

Sakura swatted away a particularly pesky rat before she pinched the rip in her sweater closed. "You know," she began, "I'm not really sure what to think, but I think I can say with quite a bit of certainty that I'm swearing off men. The whole lot of you is insane."

Kakashi was still sitting in his chair flabbergasted. Had all this really happened? Was Sakura really walking out of his life (or at least love-life) forever? No, he refused to accept that! He couldn't let this happen, not when it was the three stupid idiots who were at fault. No, correction, _four_ stupid idiots. Gaara was now on Kakashi's shit list too. Kakashi was pretty sure it might start a diplomatic incident if he fought or challenged the Kazekage, but he actually considered chancing it to get even with Gaara for ruining his night with Sakura.

Sakura started walking off, and Kakashi knew he had to stop her. He just had to. "Tenzou, you think you can handle things here?" he asked abruptly to the man who was trying to counter the Kazekage's sand.

"Kakashi-sempai, please, use my code name," Tenzou whispered harshly, then quickly formed hand signs for a water jutsu, trying to wash away the sand that was attempting to strangle him.

Kakashi pressed a hand to his throbbing temple. At a time like this Tenzou cared whether or not he was using proper codenames? Daft was the word which seemed to come to mind. "Okay," Kakashi grit out as calmly as he could, "Do you think you can handle this situation on your own, _Yamato?_"

"Of course sempai, my water jutsu are a good offense and defense against the Kazekage's sand, but what should I do if Naruto or the other two get involved?"

"Kill them, please, do me and them a favor and just kill them," Kakashi replied sarcastically, his tone only a hair from being serious as he attempted to follow Sakura.

Tenzou countered against another sand clone, and pondered if Kakashi was giving him a real order to kill. He certainly hoped not, because he didn't really want to hurt any of the people who he had worked with over the years. It was probably a good thing when Kakashi called back, "I wasn't serious, Tenzou, let them live," before he disappeared completely.

Any other woman, any other stupid woman in the entire world and Kakashi wouldn't have cared. Even a week or two ago he wouldn't have given Sakura much thought either, but since he had, there was no getting her out of his head. Her full breasts, her beautiful smile, the overstated curves of her hips and the way they seemed to sway and call out to him. But more than her physical attractiveness, there were things like her determination, or the way she made him laugh, or the fact that it didn't even phase her that he was a perverted guy who read porn in public. He still remembered the day when Sakura told him that it might have made her uncomfortable back when she was thirteen, but now she tended to his favorite pastime more endearing than anything else.

_"Kakashi, I think it's because you aren't afraid to be you. I know your true smiles and I've seen your real heartache. A book like that just means that you are confident with yourself and don't care what other people think. I like that about you."_

Kakashi still remembered back when Sakura had told him that. The two of them had just finished quite an exhausting bout of training, and he had wanted to visit the memorial stone before heading home for the day. He'd just pulled out his book and started walking in the direction of his favorite hangout. It was a bit strange that Kakashi spent more time at a stone with dead people than he did with the living, but Sakura didn't seem to take any qualms with it.

_"Can I go with you?_" she had asked. Kakashi didn't really want her to, but she was a friend who he could rarely say no to, so he agreed to take her. That was when she had told him those nice things, and Kakashi could still remember how it made him smile. It was the day Kakashi formally introduced her to Obito. Kakashi stood there talking with both of them, being some kind of strange intermediary between his dead and living friends. It was a different kind of experience to say the least, but fun too. Somehow, he knew Obito would have liked Sakura, because the guy always liked girls with a little bit of spunk in them. Sakura didn't judge Kakashi, or make fun of him, instead she joined right in the conversation, telling Obito stories she was sure Kakashi had amended or refused to mention.

_"I'm not sure how you used put up with him all the time, Obito," _she told the stone with a smile, _"Sometimes he is so difficult, but I almost think that it's because he's lonely. I think he really misses you."_

Kakashi had decided that was a good place to end the conversation between Sakura and Obito. She always saw exactly what Kakashi didn't want her to see. If there was one person who was truly talented at seeing "underneath the underneath" it was Sakura. She could see straight through him and all the complicated bullshit he erected around himself. Kakashi couldn't hide from her as she grew older, and it scared him, but more than that, it made him want to let her know more. Sakura was right, he was lonely, and as much as it couldn't have come at a less opportune time, Kakashi wanted her to know how she made him feel a little less lonely than he used to.

"Stupid women," Kakashi grumbled as he searched the alley for Sakura. He might have had feelings for her, but there was a good reason why he avoided getting into relationships, and that mostly involved how irritating the female sex could be. Sakura, of course, was nowhere to be found. Most likely she had transported back to her apartment or to a friends, maybe even to Sasuke's house or Naruto's apartment. "Great, that is just great."

"Sem…sempai?" Tenzou asked from behind Kakashi.

Growling beneath his breath, the copy-nin turned toward his friend and answered with a snippy, "What now, Tenzou?"

"Um, I was h…hoping you could help me get to the hospital. I subdued the Kazekage, b..but…" and there was a loud thud as Tenzou collapsed to the ground.

Kakashi might have been worried if Naruto didn't hop out of the restaurant with his blowdart tube in hand, "Ha, take that, Yamato! Kakashi! I didn't know that you were still here. How did your date go with Sakura?"

Kakashi eyed Tenzou and then glared at Naruto harshly. He had no more patience for his teammates, and wanted to strangle every last one of them. "My date went about as well as your training is going to go tomorrow. Is he okay?" Kakashi asked, referring, of course, to the unconscious Tenzou.

"Yeah, he'll wake up in a few hours with a headache, and I don't think he'll be able to have full control of his chakra for a few days, but other than that Yamato's just peachy."

Kakashi vowed to murder Naruto and bury the body where no one would ever find it. He was the copy-nin of Konoha, such a thing was a simple feat. Naruto was still standing there looking pleased with himself when a bruised looking Gaara stumbled up beside the blond, sand looming over his body menacingly.

"You have to understand, Kakashi, we can't let you follow Sakura tonight," Naruto told his team-leader with a big, warm smile. "And since this isn't during training hours, technically you can't do anything to us in training as punishment."

Kakashi wanted to strangle the life from Naruto's body so badly, so very, very badly, but instead drew great satisfaction from the next best thing. "I'm sorry, Naruto, I'm afraid that destruction of public property and attacking a higher ranking officer is going to earn you a night or two in the detention facility with corrective action to follow," Kakashi told his ex-pupil smugly. It might have made the copy-nin feel a bit better if Gaara didn't start laughing. Kakashi always thought that kid's laugh was a bit creepy, and the Kazekage, despite the changes and strides he'd made becoming a better person, was still slightly off his rocker.

The sand reformed the gourd on Gaara's back as he continued to chuckle. Then Gaara played a card Kakashi hadn't planned on. "Too bad Naruto didn't do any of this, it was between me and your operative here," Gaara said while pointing at the unconscious Tenzou. "I don't think you want to start an international incident by throwing me in a lock-up cell. I doubt your Hokage would be appreciative of that."

Damn pretentious brat! Gaara was almost as bad as Sasuke, who Kakashi could also sense in the vicinity. Sasuke wasn't alone either, because one sniff of the air revealed Sai's chakra-laced inks. The scent was fresh, so they were obviously used recently, probably during the fight with Tenzou. Unfortunately, there was no way of implicating the other three in this incident without taking the Kazekage down as well since Gaara had confessed to most of the wrong-doing. That was something the elders and Tsunade wouldn't approve of at all. Most likely there would be an elaborate cover-up to prevent any political upheaval. That was confirmed when a squad of ANBU operatives arrived moments later and took over the situation. Now there was definitely nothing he could officially do to Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai for their inappropriate behavior, they would get off scot-free.

"I'm leaving," Kakashi grumbled. The one good thing is that the ANBU operatives allowed him to sneak away without any further confrontation. There was no way Gaara or Naruto, or even Sasuke and Sai, could make a move to prevent him from chasing after Sakura now. He had to find her and let her know that tonight wasn't his fault. He just had to.

Inside her favorite bistro in Konoha, was one very mortified older sister. She had watched, mouth completely agape, as her little brother wreaked havoc on a high ranking Konoha ninja. He was the Kazekage! Didn't Gaara know better than that? Hadn't he made enough progress through the years to know that attacking ninja from allied nations, no matter what the excuse, was something that was to be avoided at all costs?

"Are you going to finish that salad? Because really, Temari, this meal is costing me at least a quarter of this month's paycheck."

Temari's lazy on-again-off-again boyfriend was needling her. All the guy knew how to do well was avoid relationships and whine about how troublesome crap was. Her brother, the Kazekage, had just gone berserk in a restaurant, and all Shikamaru cared about was if she was going to finish her salad. How she managed to pick such amazing losers was beyond her. It must have been a talent or something.

"Earth to Temari, did you hear me? Are you going to eat the…"

Shikamaru didn't have enough time to finish his question, because instead of into Temari's stomach, the salad wound up in Shikamaru's lap.

"Listen here, you whiny bastard! All you do is complain and laze about. I'm sick of it. Not only that but I'm only your girlfriend when it suits you, and I'm sick and tired of you breaking up with me so you can diddle your teammate and then come crawling back begging for forgiveness. You should grow a spine and be a man!"

Temari would have slapped him, but there were tears stinging her eyes. It wasn't fair, because she really did care about him, apparently much more than he cared for her. If Shikamaru gave a shit at all he would have known why Gaara's newest rampage was so troubling to her. Or perhaps he would have realized that most guys were smart enough to figure out that you don't sleep with more than one girl on a regular basis. For a clever guy, Shikamaru was pretty dense.

Temari huffed and started stomping away. "I'm leaving now, Shikamaru. Don't bother on writing to me this time, or apologizing, because I don't want to hear it!"

Of course, this wasn't the first time they had fought and broke up. Temari always took him back after awhile, but this time she swore it would be different. This time it was really over between them. There was only so much her heart could take before giving up completely. She might have yelled some more at the idiot, but there were tears running down her cheeks, and seeing that she often berated Shikamaru for being a crybaby, there was no way that Temari was going to allow him to see her cry.

Through blurry eyes, she made her way out of the restaurant and onto the street. Why did he have to be such a jerk? Temari always put on such a tough act, but she wasn't as true to her hardass facade as she liked to think. Wiping the hot, stinging moisture from her eyes, Temari decided that kicking one of the trash receptacles outside the Bistro would make her feel better. So she did, and then did again. A few minutes later and she was calling it Shikamaru and cursing at it like a sailor.

"Uh, Temari?" Temari immediately stopped her tantrum and turned to find a disastrous looking Sakura standing beside her. Taking in the site in front of her through her blurry eyes, Temari realized that her night couldn't even be compared to what Sakura had just gone through. Stupid Gaara, stupid Shikamaru, stupid men!

"My brother did that, didn't he?" Temari wailed. The female sand-sibling walked over to Sakura and began to pick bits and pieces of things out of her friend's pink hair. Over the years Sakura and Temari had stayed in touch via letters and messenger birds, and were actually quite close. Sakura never admitted any of that to Ino, otherwise she might get disowned by her friend.

Sakura shooed away Temari's hand and nodded. "Yeah, this is Gaara's doing, but I have no doubt that Naruto had a big part to play in his dubious actions this evening, so don't get too mad at him." Sakura watched as Temari tried hard not to sob as she was told this. There was obviously something really bothering the blonde, Suna woman. "Temari, are you okay?"

"No," was the quiet whisper in response, "I broke it off with Shikamaru, this time for good."

_Broke it off? _ Sakura wondered to herself. She didn't know that Shikamaru was officially dating Temari. So what Ino thought was true, Shikamaru was a double-timing jerk. From how distraught Temari looked, it was more than obvious that they were in a relationship. This made Ino the "other woman" and Sakura knew that probably wouldn't sit well with her other blonde friend. From how it sounded Temari didn't have a clue to what was really going on, so Sakura instantly felt bad for both of her friends. That damn Nara was playing them without a second thought, and it wasn't nice to mess with a girl's feelings.

"Hey Temari, would you like to come back to my place and clean up? I'm sure you don't want to face Gaara or Kankuro right now, and I have some good coffee if you want to sit and talk. I know there's a thing or two that I'd like to get off my chest."

Temari gulped down the lump in her throat and wiped away as many of the tears as she could. She wasn't the type of girl who cried, but it felt like it was okay to be honest with Sakura. This was the woman who had single-handedly saved Kankuro's life and who had been integral part of rescuing Gaara. "I think I'd like that," Temari managed to say. Sakura nodded and in a flicker she transported them both back to her apartment.­

­

Ino hoped Sakura wouldn't be home tonight, but decided that she'd hang around to see if her friend did indeed make it home with some juicy details of her date with Kakashi. Ino and the rest of the Underwear Club's members lounged in the pink-haired kunoichi's living room, chatting and recounting humorous stories about teammates, men, and other general things. None of them were expecting Sakura to flicker straight into her living room, and it was an absolute shock to see the state she was in and who she brought with her.

Ino stared incredulously at Sakura, because with her was a person Ino swore to be her mortal enemy. "Temari!" Ino hissed with enough venom in her voice to take down a large horse. Ino was the only one who even cared that there was another person with Sakura, because Hinata, Moegi, and TenTen rushed to Sakura's side with worried questions.

There was the expected barrage of, "What happened?" and "Why is your sweater torn?" and "Did Kakashi do this?" But then it got a bit stranger with "Is that the Jounin Bistro's manicotti in your hair?" and "My shoe, where is my other favorite shoe?"

Sakura didn't even bat an eye, she answered every question quickly and succinctly, "Gaara and Naruto sabotaged my date and Yamato crashed into my table at the Jounin Bistro. I was also attacked by sand-rats. The sweater got torn when Gaara threw a kunai at Yamato, and Yamato managed to catch it with one of his plant jutsus, but accidentally tore my sweater. No, Kakashi didn't do this to me, but I do blame him for it as much as I do the others. Yes, I ordered the manicotti, and it _is_ in my hair. Hinata, your other shoe was lost in the battle, I'm sure it is still at the bistro somewhere." Sakura paused long enough to take a break before amending her little speech with, "And Ino, Shikamaru is an ass, so be nice to Temari. He treated her just as badly as he did you. Retract your claws before I throw you out of my apartment."

Ino countered with a disinterested, "Whatever, forehead," as she sat back down on the couch where she had been. She knew Shikamaru was an ass, that was a given, and from the look of Temari, he'd hurt her pretty badly. However, Ino never knew the tough bitch had it in herself to actually shed tears. Rolling her eyes, Ino decided the least she could was be amicable towards Temari, despite the animosity she felt for the other blonde woman.

Sakura turned to Temari, "If you want to I can ask them to leave and we can talk in private." She wanted to make the other woman feel for comfortable, because obviously Sakura hadn't expected to come home to the Underwear Club in her living room.

"No, they don't have to, I think I'm okay." Temari turned away from the rest of them, and looked right at Sakura. Turning and tugging gently on Sakura's sleeve, she whispered a quiet, "Thank you for sticking up for me, I appreciate it."

"Any time," Sakura told her friend with a smile.

Moegi, being the youngest of the women, and a bit immature for sixteen, turned to Temari and asked her, "So did Sakura bring you here to be inducted into the Underwear Club?" Moegi hadn't even considered that perhaps the club was something the other members wanted to keep secret.

Temari turned bright red. Glancing around the room, she realized there were four women who were blushing nearly as brightly as she was. "U…Underwear Club?" she asked.

No one could stop Moegi before she started explaining why they were hanging out in Sakura's living room. "Yep, we are the founding members of Konoha's exclusive Underwear Club. It is for those women who find men scantily clad in only their undergarments to be utterly sublime!"

Sakura groaned to herself. Moegi was certainly enthusiastic about this fetish of theirs. Suna was a very conservative lot of people, so it wouldn't surprise Sakura at all if Temari called them all perverts and stomped out of her apartment. Soon it would be all over Konoha and Suna that Sakura was completely depraved and loved watching men parade around in only their underwear. That would be just wonderful. Tsunade would be so proud of her apprentice; she had grown up to be the female version of Jiraiya, pervert-elite. Sakura sighed and resigned herself to such a fate.

"So, for clarification purposes, let me get this straight. The five of you started a club because you like the idea of men in underwear?" Temari was promptly answered by a nod from Moegi. "And you thought I came here because I wanted to join? You thought I liked men in underwear too?"

Moegi nodded again, the other four women hung their heads in shame. They would definitely have to have a talk with their junior member later, because she was definitely wreaking some major havoc on their personal lives by so freely announcing their shared fetish. That was why it was surprising to all of the older women in the room when Temari just nodded and replied, "Yeah, I like underwear too."

Ino huffed. Temari was making it really hard to hate her. First, she had a falling out with Shikamaru, probably because she was tired of his shit. Second, Sakura obviously respected Temari, or she would have let Ino lay into her earlier. Finally, the girl liked men in underwear, and even admitted it. Damn that Temari, she was supposed to be a bitch, not a nice person.

Sakura let out an exhausted sigh. "I'm going to go take another shower and change. Would someone make some coffee or herbal tea please?" With that, Sakura walked into her bedroom to strip off her ruined clothing and take her second shower of the evening. Temari seemed to be getting acclimated to the rest of the women fairly quickly, so Sakura didn't mind leaving her alone with them. Sakura wasn't looking forward to explaining in full detail what had happened on her date with Kakashi, and Sakura wanted even less to discuss her future plans with her former mentor. She was just so sick and tired of having to deal with the drama of team seven, and now she had to add the Kazekage to all of that. It was becoming a little more than ridiculous in her opinion.

Clicking the bedroom door shut behind her, Sakura started taking off her torn sweater. It had been one of her favorites, so she definitely mourned it as the red garment found its new home at the bottom of Sakura's garbage can. Standing there in one shoe, her bra, and her skirt, Sakura finally let the frustration out. A tear trickled down her cheek as she thought about how she'd just walked out on Kakashi. Did that make her foolish? Childish? Was it really his fault in the first place? Other than the stupid, sneaky swimming thing, he had really played no part in the pranks up to this point. All he had done was offer her what the other's hadn't—a mature, adult relationship. No, maybe she was expecting too much from Kakashi, because he might not have been offering a relationship, but he was still asking her on dates. Kakashi seemed to be the only one who even remotely considered her feelings at all.

Sakura wasn't blind. Ever since Ino mentioned how Sasuke, Naruto, and Sai were interested in her, Sakura began noticing it too. Who wouldn't? It was blaringly obvious. But the three of them treated her like she was some kind of prize to be won, Kakashi was the only one who had the decency to treat her like a person.

"Stupid men," she grumbled again and wiped the tears from her eyes. She could hear her friends in the living room laughing and talking, even Temari was joining in. Listening closer she could hear Ino and Temari recounting the best "stupid Shikamaru" stories they had. It was wonderful how all of them were bonding. Friends were nice, but tonight Sakura wanted more. She didn't want so-called stupid men, she wanted to be wooed and cared for. She had wanted Kakashi to kiss her, to hold her, to…

"Dammit, Kakashi, I wanted tonight to be our night," Sakura said aloud to nothing and no one in particular.

The words weren't meant for anyone to hear, they were only for herself and her aching heart. So when Sakura received an actual reply she was very nearly scared out of her wits. It was the quiet, familiar, warm voice of her friend and mentor which answered Sakura back with words which shocked her. Kakashi simply said, "I wanted it to be our night too."

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**_A/N's:_**_ Dun dun dun! So I leave you with Kakashi mysteriously appearing in Sakura's bedroom with Sakura dressed in only her bra and skirt XD kukuku. I tis da evil! _

_**Next Update**: January 2nd   
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	13. Chapter 13

Underwear

by Lemon Drops/thatreevesgirl (both me)

Chapter Thirteen: A Night to Reconsider

* * *

**_FROM CHAPTER TWELVE:_**

_"Stupid men," she grumbled again and wiped the tears from her eyes. She could hear her friends in the living room laughing and talking, even Temari was joining in. Listening closer she could hear Ino and Temari recounting the best "stupid Shikamaru" stories they had. It was wonderful how all of them were bonding. Friends were nice, but tonight Sakura wanted more. She didn't want so-called stupid men, she wanted to be wooed and cared for. She had wanted Kakashi to kiss her, to hold her, to…_

_"Dammit, Kakashi, I wanted tonight to be our night," Sakura said aloud to nothing and no one in particular._

_The words weren't meant for anyone to hear, they were only for herself and her aching heart. So when Sakura received an actual reply she was very nearly scared out of her wits. It was the quiet, familiar, warm voice of her friend and mentor which answered Sakura back with words which shocked her. Kakashi simply said, "I wanted it to be our night too."_

* * *

A fragile sound escaped Sakura's throat, something akin to a whimper, but different. Here, in her room, was Kakashi. He was a little disheveled, but definitely not as much as she was. Sakura watched as he tugged and fidgeted with a length of the turquoise scarf which was wrapped loosely around his neck and lower half of his face, noticing how it set off the faint, white highlights in his silver-grey hair. It struck her for a moment that with hair like that most men would be considered old looking, but Kakashi's wayward and spiked locks were nothing if not youthfully energetic. Even his normally apathetic and lazy looking eye was open wide, curiously studying her reaction to his presence. 

Sakura didn't know how to reply to his words. In retrospect, with regards to what she had said, Sakura realized she would have never admitted those things to Kakashi consciously. It wasn't in her to confess so freely that she needed him, not after she had been conditioned so thoroughly in her youth not to. But Kakashi responded openly and honestly. He told her that he wanted to be with her. It was both terribly romantic and endlessly frightening, and it all came in the same unanimous wave of emotion. Sakura rode it out, bobbing, trying not to drown in it as the crest of it overtook her. It left her sputtering and gasping for air, literally. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. And most of all, Sakura couldn't speak, she couldn't form any semblance of words.

"Sakura?" he asked, in a calm manner which Kakashi usually reserved for missions. It was scary to know how eerily composed he could be in the face of blood, tears, and even death. His voice was low and airy, and Sakura saw his left hand flinch. Something told her that he was trying to garner enough courage to reach for her, but hadn't found the nerve to actually do so yet.

"Wha…what are you doing here?" she finally stuttered out. Along with her voice, Sakura also rediscovered her modesty, her hands fanning out and covering her nearly bare breasts from his peeping eyes. And they were peeping. Kakashi tried hard not to, but she saw how the pupil of his uncovered eye seemed to slip slowly downward. It was respectful, but curious.

In all truth, he was thirty two. Kakashi had seen quite the variety of breasts in his lifetime. Perhaps he was even considered a connoisseur of this particular bit of female anatomy. He'd felt them, kissed them, licked them, nipped them, kneaded them, _needed_ them, but never had he wanted so badly to let his eyes and hands rove over such an unremarkable pair. Sakura's breasts were small, barely filling a B-cup, and not particularly pert. Fortunately, Sakura's hands could only block so much, and the jutting shape of her nipples stretching beneath her lacy bra did nothing but egg on that voice in the back of Kakashi's head. It was the same one which made him stupidly and uncharacteristically challenge his younger teammates and battle them for Sakura's affections. Those nipples, those breasts, _this _woman were all like a drug to Kakashi, a dangerous and addictive drug.

Sakura's lips formed a hard line as she silently reprimanded his wandering eyes. She revoiced her question, this time a bit more confidently, if not bordering on insistent, "What are you doing here, Kakashi?"

Instead of answering right away, Kakashi tore at the scarf around his face, taking it off completely and dropping it onto the floor. He wanted her to see his sincerity. He wanted her to know that he wasn't playing with her.

"I wanted to talk to you…to apologize," he told her earnestly.

Sakura nervously bit her lower lip, swiping her tongue along it and the back of her teeth while she considered his reasons. She was still angry at him and at the situation, so she beseeched him with her eyes, waiting for two tiny words. When Kakashi stood silently for a few seconds, she huffed disappointedly and released her lip from her teeth. "Saying you want to, and not doing it, isn't apologizing, Kakashi," she told him bitterly.

Kakashi forced himself not to drop his shoulders into his habitual slouch, or roll his eye impatiently like he was prone to do when frustrated. He certainly wasn't the only person who owed Sakura an apology, and the other people involved had many, many more reasons than him to confess their guilt. Ah, the familiar swell of an injured and bruised male ego was starting to force its way into his thoughts. He pushed it away and out of his mind, because women hated excuses, even if they were good ones. This seemed to be written into the fairer sex's DNA.

"I'm sorry," he told her quietly, but sincerely.

She had wanted those words, but Sakura wasn't sure how to actually process them. They stuck in her ears and sounded a bit comical. Kakashi rarely apologized, and never did so with such a genuine look in his eye. That eye was watching her intently, boring holes into Sakura's face as he waited for her response.

"Okay, I accept your apology. So, where does that leave us?" she questioned him.

_Where did that leave them?_ Kakashi asked himself. Well, if he considered the obvious, it left him and her in Sakura's room with her half naked, him slightly aroused, and the sounds of at least five jovial and squealing girls just beyond a thin wooden door. It made him uncomfortable, but at the same time it made him want to undress her the rest of the way, rightfully prop her against that door, kiss her madly, and show her why he was so far beyond the rest of the competition that it made those younger men seem laughable.

Kakashi settled on returning the question instead. "Where do you think it leaves us?" This was for many reasons, but mainly because her hands were still hiding her semi-nakedness, and as much as he wanted to kiss her and make love to her, Kakashi wasn't sure she'd appreciation those kinds of overtures at the moment.

Sakura hung her head low, but Kakashi could still see the thoughtful expression in her eyes. She was rather engrossed in the question. It didn't seem to trouble her, or make her sad. Kakashi swore that for a fraction of a second Sakura allowed a look of longing and desire to overtake her pondering appearance. It switched back almost instantaneously, but he knew it had been there.

"I don't know, Kakashi," she murmured, dropping her hands from her breasts. She didn't seem to have the energy to maintain her diffidence any longer. Sakura quirked her brows together and tried to stay objective, but Kakashi knew it was a losing battle, especially since love was such a biased game. Sakura's inner conflict was nearing its end. Kakashi could see it in her face, her posture, in the way she rubbed her hands together subconsciously. Sakura had made a decision, but she didn't know how to express it. Kakashi blinked and was reminded how young and inexperienced she truly was. She was a young twenty, and much less romantically educated than most women her age.

"I think," she began, "I want you to kiss me."

The air stuck in his lungs, almost like some enemy shinobi had landed one hell of a punch directly to his ribcage. He had never, _never_ been so excited over something as menial as a kiss. His eyes clearly told Sakura how much he wanted it, and so she determinedly took the first few steps toward Kakashi and he quickly met her half way. The two of them stopped and froze mere inches from one another. Sakura arms fell stiffly at her sides. Kakashi could feel the waves of nervousness radiating from her.

Kakashi's head dipped lower and his mouth was against her cheek, near her ear. "Relax," he hummed, causing her to shudder as his warm breath ghosted over her skin. His lips gently nuzzled against her cheek. It wasn't a kiss, it was a prelude to a kiss, and how Sakura adored this comforting and intimate introduction. His hands traced the curves of her body, so close that their warmth seeped into her skin, but not enough to solidify the touch she wanted so badly. Sakura relaxed and leaned into him, relishing in the unusually pliable rigidity of his toned, muscular frame. The only thing more intoxicating was the earthy smell she was able to detect when she was in this close proximity to him.

A shinobi's scent was something he or she masked , because if an enemy-nin tracked your scent it could be deadly to you and your teammates. It surprised Sakura how all these years she stupidly assumed Kakashi wouldn't have one, or that she wouldn't like it. Sakura was pleased to find that she was wrong on both accounts, because the way he smelled put her into a trance. She was content to just breathe it in and relish it as it danced around in her nostrils.

"My beautiful Sakura," Kakashi murmured into her mouth as he finally settled his lips into the crevices of her own. There was no more conversation, instead Kakashi's mouth worked slowly against Sakura's. His tongue slid gracefully against her tongue for a few moments, then it plunged into her mouth firmly and deeply. It made Sakura feel woozy, and she was grateful for the strong arms which were now wrapped securely around her waist, holding her up, keeping her steady.

Somewhere in the back of Sakura's mind it registered that several of her friends were having a merry time in her living room while she kissed her former sensei in her bedroom. Well, she supposed, they were all having a decent time right about now. Her body flushed instinctively. Not only Sakura's cheeks, but she also felt the warmth of blood rushing to the surface of her skin on her neck and collarbone, the cambers of her stomach, even her breasts. Kakashi surfaced for air and urged her gently to reveal the long expanse of her neck for him, laying soft kisses on a particularly sensitive area with his mouth.

Sakura sensed his urgency, his hands weren't stationary any longer, now they roved and explored. One flick of a well practiced hand and Sakura felt her bra loosen, comprehending a moment later, as he slipped his hand underneath the bra's lacy fabric and cupped her breast, that Kakashi had undone it. She moaned quietly, trying to savor the feeling of him pressing his palm gently against her skin, biting her lip as that nipple grew taught and erect. Sakura blushed furiously as she realized that this was the first time she'd even gotten this far with a man. Somehow she always imagined it would be Naruto's loving, yet bumbling hands or Sasuke's strong, callused fingers which would touch her first, not the capable and knowing hands of Kakashi.

Kakashi's fingers were rough, particularly his left hand. She mused that it was probably from the Chidori. Sakura had healed him enough to know the damage the jutsu could do. His fingers traced down her stomach, circling her belly button, and then found purchase on her hip, tugging gently at the side zipper of her skirt. Kakashi cocked his head as to ask permission before continuing, his other hand rubbing small, reassuring circles into the small of Sakura's back as he clasped the zipper between his right hand's thumb and forefinger.

"Can we?" he asked, his voice raw and needy. Kakashi was trying hard to be patient, but Sakura could tell how difficult it was for him. She tried to clear her mind and decide this rationally, but her own body was thrumming from desire, and her stomach did flip-flops as he kissed her again.

There was part of her which knew this was a bad idea, and another part of her which reveled in the fact that she was here with Kakashi, throwing caution to the wind by ignoring the fact that the two of them could be caught by her friends at any moment. The five women _would_ notice. She was supposed to be showering, and even an idiot would realize she wasn't in it. There were no familiar sounds of water, no characteristic hot steam leaking from beneath the bathroom door. Ino was wrapped up in her own little world right now, but give her ten or fifteen minutes and she'd be knocking ceaselessly and whining her concerns through the door until Sakura answered.

"Maybe, we should wait," Sakura told him as she motioned toward the living room. Kakashi's response was a frustrated growl. He released the zipper hesitantly and pressed himself flush to her body, kissing her hard and passionately instead of trying to get himself under control. She could feel the bulky weight of his navy sweater, the rough fabric of his pants, and also the firm protrusion grinding itself slowly against her hip. That was definitely not helping Sakura, especially when he moaned lowly into her mouth.

Both Kakashi and Sakura were too wrapped up in their own personal worlds, fighting their own private battles. Perhaps this was why these two elite ninja were caught so utterly off guard when a resounding crash echoed through Sakura's living room, followed by several female screams. Neither of them had time to reach for a kunai or shuriken before Sakura's bedroom door was knocked down easily by one of Konoha's greatest taijutsu masters.

"Rock Lee!" Sakura heard Ten Ten shriek angrily from the doorway of the bedroom. It was indeed Ten Ten's teammate, and he wobbled precariously back and forth. Ten Ten wasn't done with her outburst, as she smacked her hand to her forehead and grumbled, "Who in the hell gave him alcohol? Why in the hell is he here? Rock Lee! Get out of Sakura's bedroom now!"

Then Ten Ten witnessed what Rock Lee had broken in on, the two people still standing stunned in each other's arms, flushed and one of them half naked. Slowly, the recognition that it was Kakashi in the room with Sakura prompted a stupid and obvious, "Oh my, it's…it's Kakashi," from Ten Ten.

Sakura's anger was slow to form, because she was still in shock. Then, the other women gathered around the belligerently drunk Rock Lee and tried to pull him away and also got a good eyeful of what their friend was doing in her bedroom. Sakura's fury gathered and festered until she gave Rock Lee a scathing glare, which would hopefully be followed by a bone crushing fist to his face. Kakashi urged her to stay back, she wasn't decently dressed, so he moved to do the gentlemanly thing, and throw the little pest straight out. Kakashi would not spare Lee even the slightest bit of mercy as he lifted the eyepatch he'd chosen for the date and a swirling Sharingan was revealed.

Kakashi was going to kick this kid's ass from here to the Village Hidden in the Mist, and Lee would wish he had never tangled with the likes of the great copy-nin of Konoha. Okay, perhaps there were a thousand even more severe jutsu Kakashi could do to Lee which were completely uncalled for, so he settled on using the slowing effects of the Sharingan to just see where the quick bastard would move when he tried to counter.

Gai had told Kakashi all about his student's odd affinity toward alcohol and his mastery of the drunken fist. The young man even packed a flask of the hardest whiskey away with him when he worked A and S ranked missions. It was so effective and unpredictable that Lee's alcohol was dubbed for emergency situations only. Kakashi cracked the knuckles of one of his fists, this was most assuredly the doing of Sasuke, Sai, or Naruto. They sent Lee in to do their dirty work. It sounded most like something Sasuke would do, letting other people handle the tedious dirty work while he went for the real kill. He would be sure to reprimand that little Uchiha prick the next time they trained.

Kakashi was sure Rock Lee would immediately counter him, so his eyes were locked on Lee, watching carefully for any slight extraneous movements which would tell him where Lee's fists or legs would fly to. It was crucial to block each and every one of Lee's techniques, because he had grown to be a powerful, strong taijutsu user just like Gai. Kakashi knew firsthand how Gai could kick his ass. Gai was probably one of the few people who could. Even after all these years their silly competitions were still roughly tied, neither Kakashi nor Gai taking a definite lead on the other as they challenged and battled. And standing here in front of Kakashi was Gai's protégé, someone who probably had a keen sense like his teacher to what might bring Kakashi down.

"Ah, rival, you should know teamwork is always the best course of action," Gai whispered from behind Kakashi, a hand chopping down on the silver-haired man's neck, effectively knocking the copy-nin unconscious.

Sakura was stunned. When had Gai arrived? Oh lordy, she was still nearly nude! Kakashi…was Kakashi alright? What in the hell was going on? Gai waved at Lee as he hoisted Kakashi onto his back and ran as fast as he could straight out of Sakura's apartment. Lee watched them go in a blaze of dust and unslouched himself, no longer tipsy or seemingly drunk.

Lee was a much different man than when he was younger. He was much taller now, and the spandex-like jumpsuit was stretched across his wide, muscled shoulders, and covered by a jounin vest. He was lithe, and Sakura noticed there wasn't an ounce of extraneous fat anywhere on him. Lee did, however, still sport the ridiculous haircut of his youth, and his eyebrows begged for a beautician and a pair of tweezers.

The girls were still standing behind him, whispering and trying to figure out what exactly was going on in Sakura's bedroom. He looked at Sakura carefully, studying her, but not once did Lee's eyes drop below her neckline. Lee saw how furious she was and bowed deeply, his eyes now focused on the floor as he spoke humbly, "I give you my greatest apologies, dear Sakura, but I couldn't allow for your sensei to take advantage of you. I faked being inebriated to distract Kakashi long enough to remove him from the situation."

She wanted so badly to let her temper take control and send him flying with her famous and tremendous strength, but she was also biting back tears, and knew that if she allowed herself to feel it too much she would start crying. Sakura also knew that if she landed even a single finger on Lee that it would cost her thousands upon thousands more yen to fix the holes in the walls on top of the damage that was already inflicted on her apartment. Sakura didn't want to do that, but she did want answers. Sakura grabbed wildly for her deep pink nemaki, slinging the sleeping robe around herself for decency's sake and wrapping it tightly shut. "What," she hissed at Lee, "Made you think that I was being taken advantage of? I assure you that what we were doing was consensual, Lee."

He blushed sheepishly, still holding his deep, apologetic bow. "Sasuke said that it was only your first date, and that Kakashi was using tricks. Gai-sensei informed me a long time ago how Kakashi used to play games with women to get them to sleep with him. I didn't want…I couldn't allow that to happen to you, Sakura."

"He wasn't playing games," she gritted out between her teeth. Sakura was also tapping her foot impatiently, and then Sasuke's face flashed in her mind. She did promise to land at least a couple of punches to him the next time they sparred, and she wouldn't hold back. She would heal whatever broken bones he sustained, but she wouldn't feel the slightest bit guilty. "I'm going to definitely hurt that damn Uchiha," she murmured under her breath

"I don't think you know for certain what Kakashi was thinking, Sakura. He could have been playing games. I wish you could have seen the honesty in Sasuke's face. He was very candid with me," Lee told her quietly, "And I believe very worried."

Sakura huffed and crossed her arms. Lee pulled himself up from his bow, looking calmly into her eyes. "I'm so sorry about the damage. Dearest Sakura, I will pay for it all and even fix it myself if that is what it takes." He turned away, giving her privacy, and Lee could see five more women huddled around glaring at him. He made one last plea, "I'm asking for you to not be mad. Gai and I will inquire about Kakashi's intentions, and if he is sincere with his feeling for you, I will give you my blessing, Sakura. But until that time I have to ask you to wait. I cannot allow a friend to be hurt. You mean…you mean too much to me, Sakura."

There was a short silence as Lee's words were allowed to sink in, not only for Sakura, but for the rest of them as well. The hushed atmosphere was broken as Moegi let out a quiet, "Awww," and Ino reprimanded her quickly with a, "Don't you dare 'awww' him! He was stupid, damn stupid!"

Lee looked up at Ino, not raising his voice at all. "Love makes you do stupid things, Ino. Even a love you thought was gone and buried." Ino's eyes softened as he said this, and then Lee added, "I should go, I've caused each of you enough trouble tonight as it is."

Ino sidestepped in front of him. Usually she would have let the green-clad, fashion monstrosity slip out, but a voice deep inside told her that he had only done this with the purest of intentions. His gallant attempt to save Sakura was sweet, and her inner-voice was pleading with her to allow Rock Lee a chance to redeem himself.

"Oh no," Ino started, "You aren't getting off that easily."

Lee seemed surprised, and his expression grew more astonished as Ino poked a pretty, manicured, pink nail into his chest. "You owe us. We've been trying to get Sakura together with Kakashi for awhile, and you ruined it. You definitely owe us."

Rock Lee translated the unspoken words in what Ino said and scrunched his bushy brows together grumpily, "A person should be in love with the man or woman they do _that_ with, Ino," he told her firmly. "You take it too lightly."

"Just because I'm not an uptight, love-obsessed virgin like you Lee," Ino spat back at him. She was not in the mood for men tonight, even Kakashi being in Sakura's bedroom had left a bad taste in her mouth. Sakura was always teasing her and calling her a pig, but in all honesty, it was men who were pigs. Ino swallowed hard as she realized how bitter she was.

Rock Lee didn't answer, but he didn't break his glare, which was aimed straight at Ino. He obviously didn't appreciate her accusations. Ino, of course, fervently returned that stare, adding her own heated ferocity as they were locked in this odd war of eyes and resentment. Ten Ten crept up to Ino and whispered something in the blonde girl's ear, making Ino blush. She blinked, and Lee consequently won their staring contest. "No," she mouthed, "There's no way. Rock Lee? This Lee?" she squeaked.

Ten Ten nodded, and Lee sighed, knowing exactly what she had most likely told Ino. He was trying to think of how to respond when Ino pointed her finger at him again, "That's it, I'm making you our slave until you pay off your debt. I won't take no for an answer." She turned to her fellow underwear club members to make them realize that they were bearing witness to Ino's terms and conditions of Rock Lee's punishment. "Lee will be our club's slave until a time in which it is determined by our members that he has repaid his debt fully. I don't care if he thinks it is stupid or childish, he will be required to do anything we ask of him until the time he is released of our employ."

"And," Ino told Lee flatly, "You will never, _never _speak about it to anyone on your honor as a ninja. Do we have a deal?"

Lee looked unconvinced, he didn't like the sound of being these girls' slave, but when Sakura piped up, "I think that sounds like a fine punishment," he resigned himself to his fate and nodded unhappily.

Rock Lee was their club's slave, now if only he knew what kind of club they were in. Perhaps a tea club, or a baking club, maybe a movie club, all of those would be fine with him, but then he remembered how secretive it had sounded. Curiously he looked at Ino and inquired about it. He didn't like the smirk which crossed her lips, and he swore Ino looked like the devil herself. Lee was definitely not prepared for the words he was about to hear.

"Oh," Ino said coyly, "We are all members of Konoha's very first underwear club for women who appreciate men's underwear."

"Underwear club?" was the only thing Rock Lee could manage to say.

* * *

**_A/N's:_**_ See, it is still the 2nd, at least for me it is. I had to work all night and then all day, and then I still came home and finished this up for you. I worked 20 hours straight and then finished this chapter, so I sure hope it is okay. _

**_Next update will be January_**_ **14th**. After that the updates should come a bit more frequently; at least weekly, if not biweekly, until this is finished._


	14. Chapter 14

**_Underwear_**

**_Chapter 14: Confessions_**

**_by thatreevesgirl/Lemon Drops (both me)_**

* * *

To Sakura's left was the Hokage's podium, and to her right was her mentor, adorned in her Hokage robes. Tsunade pointed, with visible annoyance, to a long, dusty scroll in Sakura's hands. It was the biggest, heaviest scroll Sakura had ever seen in her life. On the front of it was a seal which said complete gibberish. 

"Are you going to read the damn thing to us or not, Sakura?" Tsunade asked impatiently.

_Us?_ Sakura asked herself. _What in the world did she mean by us?_

Looking down at the scroll, and then up again, Sakura realized that stretched out before her was every single male villager in Konoha, as well as a few stragglers from Suna and Mist and other places she'd visited over the years. The worst part of the whole weird debacle was that single one of those men were dressed in only their underwear. Not a single shinobi was without a pair of boxers or briefs, though she did figure there were probably more than a few in the crowd with boxer-briefs on.

"Where am I? What am I doing here?" she asked quietly. She looked over at Tsunade with a pleading expression, but was only met with the cold expectations of her teacher.

A brisk breeze whipped over the stage area as the Hokage snapped at Sakura again, "Dammit Sakura, read the scroll."

Why was it so damn cold? And what the hell was in this mysterious illogical scroll she was supposed to read from? Sakura tried to unroll it, but the seal was stuck. As the young kunoichi tugged on the seal, she got a glimpse of her body. Her long, uncovered legs and her bare arms—oh my, she was... Sakura wasn't naked, she wasn't. No, no, no, NO!

Words began to form on the scroll which had made no logical sense before. On it read, "_Herein lies the rules of Konoha's underwear club, all ye shall heed its message…_" and then it drifted off into more nonsensical words.

The men in the audience started catcalling at her, hooting and hollering and whistling for her to "take it off, baby!" Sakura even recognized a few of the voices, then she saw their faces. In the front row was Kakashi, wearing those very naughty silk boxers from their swim. Naruto and Sasuke were a few rows back. Sai was to the right, Gaara to the left, and then Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji, Shino, Kankurou, Genma, Izumo, Yamato, Rock Lee, Gai, oh please, please made it stop. This is NOT what she wanted to be subjected to.

Finally, she looked down and took a hard look at her own body. She wasn't completely naked, but she might as well have been. There was one very skimpy set of bra and underwear on her body, not another stitch of clothing in sight.

"Sakura-chan," a voice purred from beside her. She was beginning to understand. The only time she ever heard that seductive version of Naruto was in her dreams. "Sakura-chan," he murmured again, "Aren't you going to read us the rules? I really, _really_," and he did stress the word a lot, "Want to know what I can and can't do to you."

"The idiot's right, you know," a sultry, low voice told her, the one which belonged to one very sexy Uchiha jounin. "I want to know what I can do to you too."

"Ah, my beautiful Sakura," another voice whispered in a silky, but also slightly husky voice. "I want to know most of all, more than all these other men combined," and with that all everyone else disappeared and she was surrounded by Kakashi, Naruto, and Sasuke.

"Sakura, don't forget about us," came another voice from behind her. In addition to Sai there was a shorter, lithe redhead standing with the group. When she looked down at Gaara he wasn't even wearing…

-Beep-Beep-Beep-

There was a shrill sound of her alarm clock ringing in Sakura's ears, but the only thing that really _alarmed_ her were the perverse dreams she had been having about her teammates, and now the Kazekage. There must have been something sick and twisted in her head to dream such perverted things.

Grumbling to herself, Sakura turned over to slam her hand down on the snooze button, but instead came face to face with a certain troublemaking blond.

"N…Naruto?" she asked quietly, "What are you doing here?"

He laid a finger on her lips, signaling that he wanted her to be quiet. His arm fell silently back to his lap, and then his focus followed. Watching his own hands intently, Naruto thought for a moment, then reached and turned off the beeping alarm clock. "I wanted to apologize, Sakura," he said quietly. "I know I was out of line."

What struck her the most, was how Naruto looked truly regretful and apologetic. Unfortunately, that didn't help his physical appearance that much, because his hair was mussed, his clothes were wrinkled, and he seemed exhausted. She wondered if he had been up all night.

Naruto was seated carefully at the edge of her bed, not too close, but near enough so he was able to reach over and stroke her head softly. Sakura wasn't very pleased with him right now, but as his fingers tenderly weaved through her hair, she couldn't stay completely pissed. It wasn't the first time he'd snuck into her room to wake her up in the morning. All of Team Seven knew how to disarm the traps and snares in each other's apartments. It was knowledge they trusted one another with.

"I wanted to tell you sorry about last night, and then we need to talk about something," he murmured.

The entire memory of last night's catastrophe washed over Sakura and she couldn't help but growl an angry, "Naruto, did you have something to do with Rock Lee last night?" She already knew he had made her date at the restaurant go horribly awry, but she worried he had a hand in the even more annoying Rock Lee incident.

He didn't explain or confess, Naruto just leaned down and gently kissed her forehead, "I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. I was really drunk. I lost track of myself, so I'm not really sure."

"Why should I forgive you for what you did, Naruto?" she asked him bitterly.

"You don't need to forgive me, not right this moment anyhow. I don't really deserve your forgiveness, but you ought to get an apology."

Why did he have to be such a big, sweet moron? She could never stay mad at him for very long. She huffed and was about to give him a familiar knuckle sandwich to the noggin, when Naruto interrupted her.

He motioned that he wanted to continue. His voice became very quiet and he got a look on his face which was stark and serious. It was a very rare thing to witness him like that, and there were very few times in Sakura's life when she had seen Naruto in such a state. "I want you to know that I want you to be happy," he whispered. "I don't care if it is with Kakashi-sensei or Sasuke or Sai or me."

When Naruto mentioned himself, he drew Sakura's hands into his and brought them to his lips, he held them there as he closed his eyes and kissed her fingertips. It was like it pained him to do it, and it seemed to make him very sad. Not letting go of her hands, Naruto reopened his eyes and repeated what he'd just said.

"I mean it, Sakura, the only thing I want is for you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. Sometimes I forget that and get wrapped up in stupid shit, but I…" Naruto's eyes got a little moist, though he didn't shed any tears. "I brought home Sasuke for you, I've killed enemies to save you, and I know I'll be mad and pissy if you don't choose me, but it'll be okay…"

Naruto's voice trailed off, but his eyes were locked on hers. The beautiful ocean of blue water, so clear and honest, it was something unique to Naruto and Naruto alone. His hand cupped under her chin, tilting her face upwards, and without warning he laid an incredibly soft, gentle kiss on her lips. He hovered closely over her, so even though Sakura couldn't see them, she felt two warm, wet tears fall from his eyes onto her cheeks. Pressing his forehead to hers, Naruto finished what he had been saying. The words were so hushed Sakura wasn't sure he'd actually said them, but her heart knew he had.

"I love you, Sakura. I always have," and then in a flurry of hand signs and a puff of smoke, Naruto was gone.

* * *

"I can't take this anymore!" Sakura wailed to Ino. "My heart feels like it is so full of confusion it'll explode, but that's only if my teammates don't rip it in two with their damn competition. I am _not_ a trophy to be won." 

"Well, darn," Ino joked, "I thought you were." The blond woman smiled at her friend, but there was a tinge of worry in that jovial smirk of hers. Two of the men Sakura were considering had stepped up the game—Kakashi and Naruto. Ino had a bad feeling that Sasuke and Sai might get just as serious if they could find it in themselves to get over their own egos and hang-ups.

"I want you to break it down to me," Ino said seriously, "Where are you at in your decision."

"I don't know! That's what I've been trying to tell you, Ino-pig!" Sakura threw her hands into her hair and let out a frustrated huff. The memory of Naruto's kiss and love confession was replaying itself vividly in her mind, and every time it did, Sakura's heart would ache. The last time she had felt so emotionally needy for another person, she had been standing at the gates of Konoha with a young Sasuke who was leaving for Sound.

The feelings and reactions she had for Kakashi and Naruto were completely different. Kakashi could be described as fire. When Sakura was near him, everything moved fast, and there was a desire and attraction that she could barely begin to comprehend. She didn't have that with Naruto, he was more like a pan of freshly baked fudge brownies—all warm and comforting and once you had a taste you couldn't stop until the pan was gone. Naruto was a handsome guy, but he wasn't the gorgeous specimen of a man that Kakashi was. Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sai all beat Naruto in the raw attraction department, but Naruto topped them all when it came to heart.

Was it better to be with a person who you had deep feelings for, but someone you weren't as physically attracted to; or was it better to have someone who you couldn't stay away from if you tried, a person who you could grow to love deeply? The next time her memory of Naruto replayed in Sakura's mind, it changed. Everything was identical except the very end. Instead of using a transportation jutsu to leave, Naruto stayed. When Naruto said "I love you," Sakura witnessed herself reply, "I love you too."

Did she really love Naruto? Did she love Kakashi? Sasuke? Sai? Since when did love have anything to do with the whole underwear thing? This entire debacle started as a way to choose one of her guys to mess around with. It was supposed to be about sex, not love and relationships. Perhaps, she mused, that was just the way she was. She wasn't built like a lot of the other people out there, she couldn't separate love from intimacy. She was a poor, hopeless romantic, and those kinds of people were sadly out of style.

_Who do you love?_ Sakura heard an old friend ask in her mind. It had been many years since inner-Sakura's voice had rang out so clear and true. Her conscience had been eerily quiet for a few dozen months. Sakura pondered the question, and then honestly answered it silently in her own head. She loved them all, but she wasn't _in_ love with all of them.

She wasn't in love with Sai. He was wonderful and cute and he endearingly drove her batty with his banter and name-calling, but she wasn't in love with him. She used to be in love with Sasuke. He was handsome, intelligent, and strong willed, and there were times when that love flickered like a dying flame, but now she couldn't consider herself in love with him anymore. Kakashi…he was a tough one. He was sexy and smart, and Sakura trusted him completely (despite what Gai and Rock Lee had told her. She knew there was a tiny inkling, a little seed of hope which was growing, so Sakura might be in love with Kakashi.

Naruto was someone Sakura didn't want to be in love with. If a random person asked her if she loved Naruto Uzumaki she would have denied what she felt. Naruto was kind, lovable, and intelligent in ways none of the rest of her teammates were. She didn't want to love Naruto, but she did. She could deny it all she wanted, but when he said "I love you," she knew she wanted to say it back. It would have been a truthful admission. The worst part was how Naruto seemed to be the only one of the four so far who actually cared about her feelings. He wanted her to be happy. What if she would be happiest with him?

"I hate Naruto," Sakura grumbled to Ino. "I hate him so much." One of Ino's perfectly plucked eyebrows arched high on her forehead, asking the question the blonde dare not verbalize. Sakura added one more thing before she tabled the whole love conversation. "Ino, I hate Naruto so much that I might actually love him."

Ino laid a hand on Sakura's shoulder. "Sakura," she whispered to her friend, "I could have told you that a long time ago."

Ino had wanted Sakura to find someone she could have a little fun with, but Naruto was being Naruto. He always screwed things up. If Ino would have had her way, Naruto would have been tossed out of this underwear thing long ago. Not because he wasn't worthy of Sakura's attentions, but because he was too worthy. Ino had watched Naruto pine over her best friend for years. His devotion never wavered. Kakashi was the kind of guy you fucked, and if you were lucky you fell in love with him after some time together. Naruto was the kind of guy who you fell in love with, and then he made love to you.

There was a knock at Ino's apartment door. "Meeting time," Ino attempted cheerfully. Opening her heavy oak door, she was greeted by the happy smiles of several kunoichi, and one very grumpy looking Rock Lee.

"TenTen, do I really have to wear such a disgraceful thing?" he asked his teammate. On Rock Lee's head was a handmade dunce hat which had the word "slave" written out in pretty, curvy letters. It was Hinata's handwriting, Ino was sure of that. The blond wondered whether Hinata or TenTen had made it for Lee, because whoever did, Ino wanted to hug them.

"Who wants to see Lee in a dress?" Ino cackled. "Maybe something cute and frilly to wear while he serves us appetizers and drinks?"

"I positively refuse," Rock Lee told her stonily. He glared at her with his dark, long-lashed eyes. "I am here because Sakura requested it. I will not take orders from you, Ino."

"Oh, come now," Ino baited him, "Show us your 'youthful spirit' Rock Lee. You _are_ our slave."

Sakura was tired of the taunting, so she stepped in front of Ino and shook her head. "Play nice, Ino-pig. He's here to serve drinks, not cross-dress." Sakura turned her attention to the green spandex clad ninja. "Rock Lee, there are cups, pitchers of refreshments, and snacks on the kitchen counter. I assume you can handle it from there?"

Lee smiled weakly at Sakura. Instead of his normally overly boisterous attitude, he only nodded and told her, "Of course."

All of the members were present, so Ino called the club to order. They went over old business, made lists of new business, and discussed who they were going to target first for underwear related reconnaissance. Ino proposed that the club members take photos of their assigned targets, and it surprisingly passed with a four-to-two vote. It was all painstakingly professional. Throughout the meeting Rock Lee served food and drinks to them while wearing his slave hat.

"…okay, and so you take the photo, but if you can't, you just document it at that moment. All you have to do is make a note of whether your target wears boxers, briefs, boxer-briefs, or goes commando," Ino told the club members.

Moegi's hand shot up as she waved it wildly and waited to be called upon. "What is it, Moegi?" Ino asked unenthusiastically. The teenage kunoichi seemed to come up with the strangest of questions.

Surprisingly, she had a semi-normal one. "What are boxer-briefs?" she asked.

"You don't know what boxer-briefs are?" Ino asked, acting as if such a thing was blasphemy. It didn't matter to Ino that she didn't know what they were until Sakura explained them to her last week.

"No," Moegi told Ino.

"They are like longer briefs," Ino replied.

"Huh?"

"You know, longer briefs, they are about as long as boxers, but as tight as briefs."

Moegi still looked as if she hadn't a clue what Ino was talking about. The women all erupted into an explanative chatter, but it didn't seem to help either. Moegi looked truly lost.

"If I might interject for just a moment, ladies," Rock Lee said, taking an empty drink cup from Hinata and pouring her some more lemonade. "I happen to be wearing a pair of boxer-briefs this very moment, and if you wanted," he blushed furiously, and gulped before saying anything else, "I could show them to you."

TenTen turned almost as red as her teammate, "No, no, no, no, that is _not_ a good idea." The weapons specialist was waving her arms furiously to indicate that Rock Lee's suggestion was the worst possible plan.

"Well, I'm not sure I really want to see that, but I guess if our slave is the only example we have, I can't argue with him," Ino said. Her voice clearly said she was uninterested in Rock Lee's underwear, all except for one tiny curiosity. "How in the world do you wear boxer-briefs under spandex?"

Rock Lee reached behind his head to find the clasp which undid his suit. As he worked at unbuttoning it, he replied to Ino, "They are extremely tight in some respects, but they were specially designed by Gai-sensei. They allow me the most movement and breathing room possible, but are drawn taut to help with decency. You didn't think I'd allow myself to wear just anything underneath my suit did you?"

"Well, I didn't…" Ino began, but then she realized Rock Lee was peeling off his suit. It wasn't going to be just a quick pull-down-your-pants, show-Moegi-the-goods, and be done with it. "What are you doing?" she hissed at Lee. "Just your pants, just your pants!"

"I cannot comply with that request. My bodysuit is a single piece, so I must take off all of it," Lee grumbled.

Ino was stunned, she hadn't expected Lee to get almost completely naked. She was about to start arguing with him again when he pulled one arm out of its sleeve and then the other. TenTen groaned and smacked her hand to her forehead. She was the only person who really knew why this was such a terrible idea. Everyone else gaped at Rock Lee as he shuffled the top half of his green suit down, revealing the most gorgeous toned chest any of the women had ever seen.

His arms were big and muscular, and his chest was lithe and perfectly sculpted. It took everyone's breath away, because Rock Lee was magnificently beautiful beneath his horrendous green atrocity.

"Make him stop before it's too late," TenTen warned, but no one could speak but her. The rest of them were caught in the rapture known as Rock Lee's body.

Lee carefully removed his leg weights so he wouldn't break Ino's floor, and then he hooked his thumbs in waistband portion of the suit, and with one fluid movement it was down around his ankles. Six very lucky women were graced with a true blessing—Rock Lee's nearly naked body.

"Oh…oh m..my," Hinata stuttered, unable to tear her eyes away from the exquisite example of manliness in front of her.

Moegi actually felt the room get a little hazy as it spun for a second or two. Temari had no words at all, but she felt unusually repentant for all the snide comments she had said about the Leaf ninja over the years. TenTen looked quietly, but she wasn't surprised. It was as if she knew exactly what was beneath that monstrosity of a suit the entire time, which she did, seeing as Lee was her teammate. Sakura actually pondered if she had died and gone to some warped heaven-hell where everything was upsidedown and backwards. That left Ino, who ogled Lee with her mouth gaping open and a complete look of surprise on her face.

The first to most or say anything was the most daring of them all. Ino walked straight over to Lee and grabbed a fistful of his hair in each of her hands. "Now the hair, get rid of the hair," she ordered him. "For the love of the deceased Hokage's, someone get me a pair of scissors."

Lee swatted her hands away. "No, I am not allowing you to cut my hair. I like this style."

"We're cutting it," Ino insisted. "And then we are going shopping to buy you some nice, normal boxer-briefs, a shirt, a pair of pants, we're plucking those eyebrows of yours, and then I'm parading you around Konoha. Kami-sama, why in the world didn't you tell anyone that there was a stud underneath that awful suit thing?"

Rock Lee blushed again, but a little smirk crossed his mouth as he replied, "You think I'm a stud, Ino?"

"Yes," she replied, a bit flustered that Rock Lee of all people was having this kind of effect on her. "So now I'm going to cut that ugly mop of yours.

"No," Lee reaffirmed. "I don't want a haircut." Ino glared at him while she prepared a speech to convince him. "However, it is funny how different I look when you put a little gel in my hair," he told her.

Ino almost jumped for joy. She didn't know why, it was almost like she'd uncovered some weird treasure in her own living room. "Fine, gel. I have some of that in my bathroom. Stay here," she ordered as she started walking away. As a secondary thought, Ino spun around and added a quick, "Don't you dare get dressed while I'm gone, slave. I have plans for you."

Sakura, Hinata, and Temari eyed each other worriedly. Moegi turned to them and asked, "What was that all about?" She almost looked scared to know what had gotten into their fearless underwear leader.

"Um, I think she's a little man-starved," Sakura explained. The pink haired kunoichi turned to Temari, "I think Shikamaru drove her over the edge of sanity."

"He has that ability," Temari agreed.

The five of them watched as a hapless Lee was tackled by Ino and then promptly poked and primped until he resembled almost nothing of his former self. He stood in Ino's living room wearing only his underwear and gelled hair. "I left the eyebrows for nostalgia's sake," Ino told them when she was done.

"Holy shit," Sakura whispered as she looked at the godlike man standing in front of her, spiky, punked out hair going every which way. "He's actually hot."

Ino grinned devilishly and took the slave hat which she'd knocked onto the floor during her skirmish to gel up Rock Lee. "Anyone have a magic marker?" she asked. "I have a small correction to make. This should read stud, not slave. Though I do like the idea of studly slave myself."

The naughty thoughts running through Ino's head were very nearly palpable. She grabbed Rock Lee's suit and thrust it at him. "Put this on, we are going shopping. Until your debt is repayed to us, you will not wear it again unless you are training or on a mission. Is that clear, Lee?"

He shook his head, "But what if we are attacked. I wear it all the time so we…"

"Then wear it beneath your clothes, I don't care, just never, never alone again."

As soon as Lee was dressed, Ino grabbed him by the wrist and drug him straight out the door. Sakura and the rest of the club followed quickly behind, lest poor Lee would probably get molested by the overeager blonde in a dressing room, wearing nothing but those boxer-briefs of his.

As they all ran out of Ino's apartment complex, none of them noticed a man in an oversized coat and sunglasses. He seemed to blend in with the surroundings too often, especially when he was trying to stay inconspicuous. "Hinata," he said under his breath, a hint of sadness in his voice. He watched as she ran in a herd of women after Ino and Rock Lee "What exactly have you been up to lately?"

* * *

_**A/N's**: I'm sorry this is a day late. I didn't realize it was the 14th yesterday since I had it off from work. Whoops. _

_EDIT: Next update will be after my convention Feb. 10th (I'll try to have it done as soon as possible after that date). I have to get a lot of stuff ready, and I can't do that while working on Underwear. I still have two jobs and school on top of the con stuff, so I'm really busy. _


End file.
